"Trusting God Through the Hard Times"

I know that its hard to trust God at times. I know that you have your good days and then you have some really rough days where you're like.. Lord, how long before.. this or that?

I've learned that I can't focus on "this or that" or what I think I'm lacking. My focus must be on the Lord alone because if I ain't content with just Him, then He won't bring things into my life so that I can make those things my idols. 

Philippians 4:11-13 New Living Translation (NLT)

 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ,[a] who gives me strength.

So, the secret to not having a man or having a man is Christ. The secret to not getting that promotion or getting it is Christ. The secret to not having a car or having a car in Christ. Now, insert your situation. The answer is knowing that Christ gives you strength to be content and to trust Him, even when you don't understand. So, whether it happens or not, you are content in Christ. Isn't that a powerful statement? You may have read that scripture a million times but maybe it hasn't really become real in your heart. We must come to a place in our walk where we say, "Lord, whether it happens or not, you are my portion, you are my strength, you are my joy. I TRUST you as a good Father to provide what I NEED in due season."

Do I "have" everything I want? 

Gosh, that's no longer my focus. It can't be your focus either. Just wake up, take each day.. day by day and give your days the the Lord. I used to focus on what I didn't have and then those things became amplified in my heart. If you stare at something long enough, that thing will be all you can see. And some of us keep staring at other peoples relationships, other peoples ministries, other peoples success, other peoples this or that. We've taken our eyes off of Christ and we have put them on humans. 

How can we change this?

Our focus must shift from what we think we need to the cross. So, if that door opens or not, it doesn't matter. Our focus was never in that door opening, it's in Christ so if the door opens, great, if not, It wasn't supposed to open so I trust Him. 

My husband and I took a walk the other day and we walked by this apartment building that was being demolished. It looked TERRIBLE! Bulldozers were everywhere and I was thinking, gosh, what a huge undertaking! The Holy Spirit told me that THIS is what we look like when we give our lives to Jesus. It looks like a huge bulldozer came in and destroyed your entire heart. God wrecks our relationships, our old mindset and our lives and then, brick by brick with the RIGHT foundation.. He prepares our hearts. And, this is where it gets hard. 

Why?

Because you're used to a certain level of being comfortable prior to Christ. And although the foundation was jacked up, you were still comfortable in your bondage. You were comfortable in your dysfunctional relationships. You were comfortable in your depression.  You were comfortable in your sin. 

Then Christ came and changed your heart. He convicted you of your sin and the Holy Spirit came in, destroyed the sin and started the real healing process. So, as the foundation is laid.. it can be pretty painful. It can be hard. It can be frustrating. Things can seem slow. God won't allow certain bricks to be laid from your past. Things can seem almost like you're forgotten but you must stay faithful to the Lord an keep living for Him. You cannot stop, you cannot quit, you cannot run back to the vomit that the Lord has freed you from! There's NO profit there! One day, your house will stand tall and beautiful with the RIGHT foundation. So then, when the attacks and the winds of this world come, it won't be able to knock your house down. 

Matthew 7:25 "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."

Jesus is preparing you for ETERNITY. This life is so much bigger than these temporary things. SO, learn to be content RIGHT where you are. An event won't change a discontent heart so even with that child you prayed for, you still may find yourself unhappy. Even with that husband you believed God for, you will still find that he ain't the source of your joy. Even moving to that new location, you will find ways to be unhappy. Being content is a heart issue. Your contentment proves who you trust. 

Who do you trust?

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

6 Months Pregnant with baby girl Lindsey! :) Me & my best friend Delan!

Just a few things:

1. Find my (3) books, purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA. We also have our New Years Service at the same place at 10pm EST! Join us! 

4. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 32,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. Pinky Promise is hosting a statewide baby shower for low income & single mamas in Atlanta, GA on September 12. If you want to donate or be a part of it, please email pinkypromisequestions@gmail.com For donations only, you can send the payment via PayPal to pinkypmovement@gmail.com & be sure to note that its for the Statewide Baby Shower. All donations are tax deductible. 

8. I'm headed to California & VA/DC area in April. Check my calendar for event details!

"When It Feels Like God Abandoned You"

This area has just been heavy on my heart so I wanted to remind those of you who are going through some hard times that God has not forgotten about you.

Yes, you.

In the world of social media, technology and TV, it's so easy to glamorize what everybody else is doing while thinking, Lord, have you forgotten about me? Have you abandoned me? 

No, God hasn't abandoned you. But, He is disciplining you. And you have a choice. You can either press through this test and mature in your walk with Him or.. stay the same and continue to go around that mountain as you run from God. 

I'm going to scream this from the rooftop and I want you to get this: God is MUCH more concerned about your eternity THAN He is you being happy. Wait, What do you mean Heather? God doesn't want me happy?

No. He wants you Holy. Holiness means to be set apart for proper use. God has to UPROOT some things that are INSIDE of you to show you that you cannot DWELL with Him and DWELL with this World.  You are going to either hate one or love to other. (Matthew 6:24) And sadly, most people end up hating God and loving this world. They hate God because they feel like:

"God, why did you let my mother die?"

"God, why did you let me get abused growing up?"

"God, why didn't you protect me?"

"God, why am I homeless?"

"God, why does my husband treat me like this?"

Why?

Because we live in a fallen world that is plagued by sin. And because sin is running rampant in this earth, but these tests and trails we experience will prepare us if we respond in a godly way.

James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Romans 5:3-5 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." 

The question is, what do you do with your mother passing away? Do you carry on her legacy and do what she cannot do anymore? Which is share Jesus with others? Yes, grieve. Yes, have your moments, just don't stay there. You know your mother or that family member would want you to get up and do what God has called you to do! 

What do you do about getting abused growing up? Have you forgiven who has abused you? I cannot imagine what you've gone through over the years carrying that pain but don't you dare give another day or a moment to that person that abused you. You've already given them too many years. Instead, take your care to the Lord and ask Him to heal you. Ask Him to help you. Tell Him that you're upset, scared and it's hard to have relationships. He can heal you and then, He will use you to help other people that have gone through the same thing. I've learned that my heartaches and victories are to be shared so that people may come into the knowledge of Jesus Christ. So that they may know God took this absolutely messed up country girl from Brooklyn, MI and gave her purpose when she felt like she didn't have any. 

Maybe you feel like, "God, why didn't you protect me?" Honestly, I don't know what happened in your life and situation but I do know that at times, we take our own path. We make our own way and we reject God. So, while God is urging us to go in another direction, we turn and go the other way. When we do this, we reject His covering and protection. 

Maybe you're homeless or you cannot find a job. Maybe money is your issue. I must say that I can relate with you. I've had my own eviction notice when I first moved to NYC after college. I cried out to God and I told Him that I was gonna quit on this whole God thing if He didn't come through for me. He literally came through the next day and I was able to move with a female friend and we eventually got a 2 bedroom apartment and lived together for 5 years before I got married. In those moments of hardship, I learned to cling to the Lord. I wouldn't trade a second of those years of eating only eggs for dinner every night. I began to depend on the Lord for my daily bread. I began to cling to Him for direction and clarity. You see, if I was eating 5 course meals everything and my lights were on, I wouldn't be as desperate for God at that point in my life. I needed to be stripped of my mindset that money took care me. No, God takes care of me. So, if I have to sleep in my car, God still takes care of me. And things didn't all the sudden "turn around" for another 3 years but I went through that season of being financially tested because God needed me to KNOW without a shadow of a DOUBT that HE was GOD and GOD alone. I didn't truly believe it at that time, even though I sang the songs at church and served in ministry. That was my God-encounter that changed my heart forever. 

Maybe you're in a marriage and you aren't happy. Maybe you want out and you feel like God cannot raise your dead marriage. So if you're bored and in what you think is a dull marriage, then most likely your relationship with God has become dull as well. There's no way that you can honestly pursue Him with your whole heart, surrendering pride, egos, your feelings and what you think you deserve and still leave your husband. I know, I know, I may not understand your situation. But I have been in a place where I wanted to leave my husband. I actually had it planned out in my head of where I was going to go and what I was going to do. I thought life was easier without him and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I believe that God designs the marriage covenant relationship to provide real love and fulfillment and the grass on the other side of the lawn is an illusion of temporary happiness. So what if I'm not happy Heather? Happiness is relative, based on your feelings and what you can see. You won't be happy at times in your marriage. In marriage, you will always need to work on things. Instead of focusing on what your spouse needs to do, ask the Lord to show you yourself and what you can do differently. GREAT joy has been birthed in my marriage from loving my husband when I don't think he deserves it. Now, I actually think he deserves it because I love him as onto the Lord, and not as onto my husband. My love is for Jesus. That's why I love my husband so hard. The love I have for Christ POURS out into my marriage. My husband has a very strong command-man type of personality and I've learned to make appeals to him in a respectful loving way. I watch the way I say things and I work on never nagging him. And, I've watched him in return love me like Christ loved the church. He even loves me in those moments that I don't "deserve" either but we've learned to push past our feelings and unconditionally love one another. 

Maybe you're single and you feel like God has forgotten about you. Sis, it's nothing to God to bring your spouse. But do you want a spouse more than you want a relationship with Him? Anything that you build higher in your heart than God can be used against you. God won't share His glory with anybody else and He desires ALL of you. Not a part of you. Maybe, just maybe this season is preparing you to show you that God isn't finished with your single season. Don't prolong this season stepping out of His timing and rushing to get a man to fill your voids. You will get a man and send him back because of he was a Ishmael and not an Issac. 

Now, there's so many scriptures that can be applied to waiting and trusting in Gods timing. Write down a few of these and stare at them when you get tested. Stop giving into the enemy and not making this word a priority! 

Ecclesiastes 3 New Living Translation (NLT)

A Time for Everything

3 For everything there is a season,

    a time for every activity under heaven.

2 A time to be born and a time to die.

    A time to plant and a time to harvest.

3 A time to kill and a time to heal.

    A time to tear down and a time to build up.

4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.

    A time to grieve and a time to dance.

5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.

    A time to keep and a time to throw away.

7 A time to tear and a time to mend.

    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

8 A time to love and a time to hate.

    A time for war and a time for peace.

(This is me adding a few words just for the purpose of this blog)

A TIME to get married. A TIME to have kids.

*Add whatever "time" you see and how it applies to your life. 

1 Peter 3:14 

"But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don't worry 

or be afraid of their threats."

Ephesians 4:32

"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

So, yes, you're being disciplined right NOW in this season.  Discipline means to teach and to train. Discipline sounds negative to many people because some disciplinarians don't seem very loving. God, however is the source of all love. He doesn't punish us because He enjoys inflicting pain but because He is deeply concerned about your development! He knows that in order to become the person He has called you to be, we must learned the difference between right and wrong. God's LOVING discipline enables us to do that because He leads and guides to the right path and way. 

YOU are NOT alone in your tests right now. So, in the midst of them, are you rushing back to this world? This world will never satisfy you. It's like going to get in the shower using mud water. Stop running back to your past because you think God hates you. He doesn't hate you. He loves you. He created you. He's for you. He's with you. Stop rationalizing and arguing with Him and return to Him. 

How do you return?

1. Repent of your sins. Don't want for Sunday service. Fall to  your knees right now and surrender to our king Jesus. 

2. Spend time with God daily. I blogged about it here. 

3. Now, it's time to let God instruct you and lead you. As you acknowledge Him in all of your ways, (Prov 3:5) HE will direct you. So He may direct you to cut off a bad relationship, stop listening to certain music, or some other area. So, guard that heart as you go about your way. You cannot afford to listen to whoever, do whatever or live however. The Holy Spirit lives in you. 

Obey quickly. 

Just a few things:

1. Find my (3) books, purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA. We also have our New Years Service at the same place at 10pm EST! Join us! 

4. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 32,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. Pinky Promise is hosting a statewide baby shower for low income & single mamas in Atlanta, GA on September 12. If you want to donate or be a part of it, please email pinkypromisequestions@gmail.com For donations only, you can send the payment via PayPal to pinkypmovement@gmail.com & be sure to note that its for the Statewide Baby Shower. All donations are tax deductible. 

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

New Journals! Find them via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com

"Help Me, I Can't Stop Procrastinating"

So, if you're in a season where you feel super sluggish, kinda lazy and you feel like doing nothing, I can relate. Being now 18 weeks pregnant, I have had my days where I only want to lay in the bed for the entire day. But even before I was pregnant, I had my seasons where I struggled in this area. It's almost like, it's on my checklist to take care of this but I just got too busy throughout the day to get to it or by the time I got home, I had zero energy to accomplish that task.

Let's just be honest. We don't see the other side of accomplishing what God told us to do so because we see what we can see, like our jobs, class, school, tending to our families (which are all good things)-- we tend to let being busy overshadow what the Lord told us to do.  If I can be totally honest, some of need to be cured from the "Martha Syndrome" in Luke 10:38.

As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Some of us are doing "good" things but those things aren't divinely directed by the Holy Spirit to do at that time. So now, you're too busy and too distracted to sit at the feet of Jesus. Although in the back of your mind, you know God told you to write that book, start that organization, break up with that loser boyfriend, distance yourself from that friend that is influencing you, putting the donut down and picking up some veggies or whatever else, you still are TOO busy and TOO distracted to do what He told you to do because EVERYTHING else is keeping you.. busy. EVEN scrolling around online when you DO get free time is dangerous. Because 10 minutes turns into 2 hours. You want to do something that doesn't require thought because you're so overwhelmed by your schedule. 

This is why it's important that we go before the Lord and we ask Him, "Lord, is my schedule pleasing to you? Do I need to remove anything from my schedule that is distracting me?" 

And if I can be totally honest with you, you being lazy or procrastinating about what God told you to do could come from a number of factors. 

1. "Lord, that thing is too big and I don't know how I'm going to do it." 

My thoughts: Hebrews 11:1 - Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Great! It's supposed to be bigger than you! If it wasn't then you would probably think that you can handle it alone!

2."I'm afraid to step out on faith because I'm scared of failing." 

My thoughts: Well, in our own ability, you should be afraid but when you step out on faith, it's not about you-- it's about bringing glory to God so if HE started the work in you, HE will complete it. And where did you get that fear from? 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." And who told you that you're going to fail? Mama & them? 

3." I don't know where to start."

My thoughts:  Whose voice are you listening too? If we are listening to the Lord, then He will instruct us, open the right doors and send the right people to help. My "ministry" started long before I started blogging. It started when I bagged groceries at the grocery store when I was 16. It started when I worked for difficult bosses. It started when I stopped stealing the staples and the ink from my company for my bible studies. THEN after I started to grow, walk in love, forgive people that were mean to me, get stripped of just about everything.. the Lord told me to start blogging. THEN, all of ya'll came out of nowhere. (group hug! :) ) So, your full time ministry is wherever you are right.. now. 

4. "I don't have time to do those things that I know I need to do."

My thoughts: You don't lack time, you lack desire. You desire a paycheck so you go to work. You desire to build your friendships, so you have girl time. When you're hungry you pursue food. When your spirit man is starved you get on Facebook. You procrastinate. You call friends and pour your heart out. You go online shopping. You run internally. You desire and pursue the things that you give your attention to on a regular basis. And lets be honest, at times, you just don't desire God and the proof in that pudding is your lack of time with Him. If you knew that you had a scheduled breakfast every morning with Jesus and He would physically come down from heaven, you would be right there to sit and eat with him. You would cook breakfast, make sure the house was together.. (Martha..) and you would NEVER miss a day with Him. Well, He sent the Holy Spirit and He's as real as the person sitting next to you. 

5. "I don't know when it's Gods time to open that door."

My thoughts: I can relate to this. I wanted to sell bedazzled journals and shirts with purpose before I opened up my Pinky Promise Boutique but my husband cautioned that it wasn't the right time. This was about 2 months before I started Pinky Promise. I also attempted to go to grad school for what I'm doing now.. and I didn't need it (before I got married.) I at times ran ahead of God and I had to quickly understand that I needed to slow down and be led by His spirit, not what I think I needed to do to accomplish the will of God. Proverbs 3:6 "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." So procrastinating may not be your issue. Your issue may be not trusting Gods timing and SPRINTING past Him. Either way, it's just as dangerous because you create "Towers of Babel" that HE never told you to build. So, acknowledge Him and I can ASSURE you that He will show you when it's the right time. You will just KNOW because you talk to Him at breakfast every morning alone.. & then though out the day.

Now that we understand that we are giving excuses to why we can't do things, I want to encourage you that nations are waiting for your obedience. Other people are directly IMPACTED by your disobedience. For example, what if I never started Pinky Promise? We currently have over 31,000 ladies in the organization that made a decision to honor God with their bodies and life. What if I was afraid to share my pitfalls? What if I was afraid to share my past because of what others think of me? Then I would be skipping around here like my life is so perfect and that I've never had an issue which would help NOBODY. This crazy world needs YOU. They need your story. They need your transparency. They need you to be obedient to what God told YOU to do. They need YOU because you were created to solve a problem and due to the reasons above, you've been pushing off whatever. Now, don't rush ahead, create a go fund me account or copy somebody else's ministry or business. Go and sit before the Lord. Paul and Peter didn't have a go fund me, they had Jesus and we have Him too who is our ultimate Provider. Now, God can USE a go fund me account if He tells you to start one, but most of us, lets be honest.. He told you to trust Him & stop asking humans to fund your tower of babel. (genesis 11) 

There is a SPIRIT behind this area that is trying to keep you from obeying God! We bind that spirit in the name of Jesus! Satan doesn't care if you spend all day looking at pornography or all day on Facebook, as long as you aren't spending all day in Gods Book.

So, cheers to stepping out on faith. Let's just start. Right now. No holding back. No questioning God. No rationalizing. No more intentional sin. No more chasing down little Johnny cuz' we lonely. It's time to grow up and mature and do what the Lord is telling  US to do! 

Just a few things:

1. Find my (3) books, purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA. We also have our New Years Service at the same place at 10pm EST! Join us! 

4. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 31,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. Pinky Promise is hosting a statewide baby shower for low income & single mamas in Atlanta, GA on September 12. If you want to donate or be a part of it, please email pinkypromisequestions@gmail.com For donations only, you can send the payment via PayPal to pinkypmovement@gmail.com & be sure to note that its for the Statewide Baby Shower. All donations are tax deductible. 

God loves you like crazy!

Love you all!

Heather Lindsey 

My crew after church this past sunday!
We are 18 weeks pregnant with our baby girl! :)

It's a GIRL!

Hi everyone! :)

Sorry that I haven't been posting lately! We just found out that we are having a baby girl in July 2015 so, I've been dealing with the joys of pregnancy and working on getting my 2nd book out! I'm going to post tips about pregnancy and dealing with all of the fun symptoms soon! 

Thanks for your patience and I will get to posting again soon!

Love you all!

Heather Lindsey 

"Why Most People Waste Their Single Life"

Can I let you in on a very real conversation I had with my husband tonight?

Me: Babe, I have a speaking engagement in September in this certain state. 

Cornelius: Is it confirmed? 

Me: No, they just requested me. 

Cornelius: We will have a newborn and a 2 year old. Heather, I know you want to help people and I get it but we can't be so focused on going on the road that we aren't taking care of our home.
*Sorry, I didn't announce it here, but I am pregnant! :) Due early July 2015*

Me: Wait, what babe? I never leave the home unkept!

Cornelius: I know Heather, but things are changing now. Your family is a priority before your speaking engagements. If you travel on Friday or Saturday, then I would have to study with 2 babies and then get them ready for church. So, if you plan on going or you really feel led to go to a certain one, make sure that my mom or someone is here to keep the babies so we can keep this ship moving.

Me: You're right. I will adjust and make sure that I'm taking as many and I will be sure to be led by the Lord.

My family 

As soon as our conversation finished, this scripture grew in my heart:

1 Corinthians 7:33-35

I should like you to be free of anxieties. An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord.

But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,

and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is anxious about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy in both body and spirit. A married woman, on the other hand, is anxious about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

I am telling you this for your own benefit, not to impose a restraint upon you, but for the sake of propriety and adherence to the Lord without distraction.

You maybe thinking, "HEATHER! That is NOT fair! How is he going to tell you that you cannot take as many speaking engagements? Why can't you just take one kid with you? Why not this.. why not that? How is he gonna CONTROL you?! Nobody should control you! 

Well, to answer that question: 


Matthew 11:5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

My  husband and I are one flesh. YOU lose the right to be "independent" of him or her when you get married. You have a responsibility to ANSWER to someone else. You left your family, your single life, your ways, your mindset, your decisions and you become ONE flesh with your spouse. And.. if you do run off & ignore what they say..

Mark 3:25 And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.

Amos 3:3 How can two walk together unless they agree?

So if you continue in your separate thinking, your house will be divided and it won't stand. There will be frustration, confusion and sorrow. WHY bring that independent, rebellious attitude into a marriage? Then, when you have kids.. they will feel the wrath and so will your spouse who feels like a single parent. This is why you make sure you discuss these things before the ring. I knew that my husband was a family man (as I'm family woman) & I knew that the priority was family first, THEN ministry. He didn't want a wife that was out of the home for 90 hours a week, so I wasn't surprised. Same goes from me to him. I didn't want a husband that traveled and was out of the home for 90 hours a week. I didn't want a man that was NEVER at home. I didn't want a man that never came home at night. 

Even in the above, I was tempted to think the same way as many of you that read that first part until the birth of our son Logan. Then, I realized how much he needs his mama. I realized that God gave me a responsibility to raise and teach Logan and I cannot push that responsibility off on mama in law & them. I'm still breastfeeding Logan at 21 months and when I'm away, I have to pump, prepare and travel with the milk. When I'm not at home, there's a missing piece in our household.  I put down Logan every night for bed and I enjoy these moments that we can never get back. We have a church and a local responsibility so on Sundays, I get our son ready and I'm up with him at night. I want my husband to be prepared and alert to preach on Sunday morning. My family needs me. What good am I if I run all over the world to help everybody else but I'm neglecting to take care of my first responsibility, my FIRST ministry, my HOME?

Titus 2:4-5 New Living Translation (NLT)

"These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children,

To live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[a] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God."

Now, don't get me wrong. I get that women can work outside the home. I get that they can travel without their families. I get it. BUT you have to do what works for YOUR home. In my home, we travel together, work together and pretty much do everything together. We do take man trips & girl trips here & there. There's no "law" in our home. BUT there is a level or respect that says, my family is FIRST after God. (So, GOD is our entire foundation as He comes first, then my family, work & ministry life) My husband rarely takes speaking engagements mostly because he thinks it will disrupt the flow of our home and traveling with children takes ALOT out of you. We don't want our son to feel second to ministry as a preachers child. I believe that most "PK"s rebel because mama & daddy put them second to the church and the stage. I've talked to the most stable PK's & I'm like.. WHAT did your parents do differently? They always respond: "they included me in everything. They never felt like they had to compete with the church." And in our home, we like to set that same atmosphere. You still may not understand why we do what we do.. but you could only REALLY understand if you lived in our home with us! :) It works for US. So, communicate with your one-day spouse & get on the same page PRIOR to "I do" so you can make sure there's no huge surprises there. 

NOW to main point.

If you're single. Excuse my english: 

You aint gotta deal with that. 

If you're single you can go backpack in Europe for 6 months, eat cereal every night for dinner and nobody will complain, you can take a job as a flight attendant and fly all over the world! You can join 20 ministries at church and devote your weekends to your friends and feeding the homeless. You can go do missions in Africa for 6 months, you can wear yoga pants ALL day long with your hair wrapped up.

This isn't to "high" five single life or to bash marriage because BOTH have their proper seasons. The focus is to get you to realize that some of ya'll are WASTING your single life WONDERING "When your Adam is going to wake up?!" You're worried about God's timing. You're wondering, hoping and wishing about your husband. Every new guy that comes in the church "is your husband" and your focus is totally off! There's a SEASON under the sun for everything! You are literally WAITING for your life to start when you meet that "person." So, you won't buy a house, you won't buy a bed, you won't do much of anything because you're "waiting for your  man."

You've made it an idol. 

Let's look at this example: 

If I'm walking towards a building, my eyes are totally on the building. I'm not focused on what's going on around me, my eyes are glued to the building. My focus is set. I'm headed in that direction. 

This is how it should be when we are single and this prepares us for marriage. Our eyes our set on Jesus! He's our foundation, our hope, our peace, our wisdom, our joy! 

But, some of us are focused on the shed that is opposite of the "building." Although we know that we should trust God & live for Him.. we still feel like maybe God is taking too long and we have to "help" Him out. So, we take our focus from the building to the shed. But if you would turn around and focus back on the building with the RIGHT foundation, then God can really lead your life. There will be many seasons in your life. You will have quiet seasons. You will have seasons where God has you busy. You will have seasons where you feel lonely. You will have seasons where God wants you to travel. You may ask, Heather, I don't have the money do "do what I want to do." Honey, if God wants you to do it, He will provide a way! Let Him lead your footsteps. 

I look back over my life and I believe that I wasted ALOT of time as a single. I remember that I had an opportunity to go study abroad to London during my Junior Year in college but I passed on it because my then boyfriend didn't want to go. I was so insecure that he was going to cheat on me, (which he did when I was right down the street) so I PASSED on going to London for some man that I ain't with today. That was just ONE of many time wasters when I was single. 

Do I miss being single?

Single Days NYC 2004

                                                             

Of course not! I LOVE my little family. But I DO miss the FREE time that I once had to roam about uninterrupted. This morning, I was woken up by a 21 month old at 6AM who wanted me to make him some juice. So, I woke up and made juice. Then, he started screaming, "Eggs mommy! I want eggs!!" So, I made him eggs. (Mind you, I'm 3 months pregnant and still battling morning sickness). Daddy was downstairs working out and I didn't want to interrupt him.. so, to making the eggs I went. Then, I needed to change his diaper. Get him showered, dressed. Then,  pray, then read, then do this.. then do that. 

I USED to wake up when I was single and I would go straight to my quiet time bay window and I would spend an hour with the Lord before work. 

Life has surely changed. And I wouldn't change it for everything but it does put things in perspective. I am THANKFUL that I set a foundation as a single to spend time with God because now that I'm married, it's even HARDER to get to that place but because I KNOW better, I am intentional about that time. So, don't wake up in regret one day of all of the time you wasted when you could have been TOTALLY devoted to the Lord. 

If you have children and you're not married, you may be thinking, what about me?

I'm not sure if your situation but if you have shared custody, you're still free to run around when your child is with the other parent! Or, if you have good, solid family members that will keep your child while you're away-- that's great too! Just don't stay away too long because again, you have responsibilities to be a mother or father. 

I pray that you really hear my heart on this. When you trust God's timing, you will be focusing on HIM, not WHEN.

And honestly, this mindset of "waiting" for your man doesn't hold too well in marriage. Once you DO get married, you will look to your spouse to fill every void, every hobby and make you happy because you set in your mind for YEARS that a relationship will ONLY make you happy. It's like it was the missing piece to your joy. But GOD is the only missing FOUNDATION and from Him comes all gifts. I ran into this problem when we got married because I made everything about my husband that I didn't have a LIFE. Those first 6 months were hard because we moved to a new state and we didn't have friends. But in my "head" I had this fantasy of what I think marriage should be like and I put PRESSURE on my now husband in the beginning because of this lie I made up in my head. Things got much better after I started blogging, doing small groups with women then eventually starting Pinky Promise because life was back dependent on God and not a human. My husband is amazing, but a terrible god.

Don't train your mindset to think that joy comes from people. It comes from the Lord.

So, what do you do?

1. Go spend time with God.  Let Him lead & direct your paths.
2. Find a good church home that teaches the TRUE word of God. Not all that crazy, weird, confusion.
3. Join a local Pinky Promise Group for sisterhood. (Or find something in your area with like-minded Christians
4. Obey God immediately.
5. Renew your mind daily. You can't live off of last weeks bible study.

Hugs!

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

And then there were 4. Coming soon: July 2015

Just a few things:

1. Find my books, purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA. We also have our New Years Service at the same place at 10pm EST! Join us! 

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book,  Dusty Crowns, here! 

5. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 30,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

Trusting God in the Workplace: But Lord, I Had an Excuse to be Mean!"

Ever felt like you had an excuse to cut up or treat someone bad? Maybe, someone treated you badly? Maybe things didn't go your way or maybe you feel like you had a RIGHT to be upset. 

I have felt the SAME way. Let me share my story.. 

I was working with a venue for an event and I felt like the customer service was TERRIBLE. I am passionate about the events that the Lord gives me and I felt like the person I was working with was like a grimy used car salesman, trying to get over on me. 

I was ready to take my issues to corporate because I wanted everybody to feel my wrath. 

Then, the Lord AND my husband convicted my heart. 

The Lord said, the same grace that I give you daily.. I need you to give it to them. 

Wait, WHAT LORD? I don't like how they do business! As I fussed at Him, tears came to my eyes. Why is it that I am so hard on others (even if they are wrong) but at the same time I forget that I need the same grace from the Lord daily?! I'm reminded of this story in Matthew 18: 24-33:

 24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 27 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. 28 “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’30 And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. 32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.

I'm reminded of this because I am the person that owes a tiny bit. When I messed up in the past, I begged God to forgive me! As I repent daily for any known or unknown sin, I'm humbled by His grace & desperately need Him! Everything is great. THEN, I get tested with the person who is trying to WORK my nerves.. AND I want him to know that I think you're trying to get over on me and I don't like bad business! 

SO, because God forgave ME, I'm going to trust His word when He says .. "A gentle answer turns away wrath." Instead of fussing with whoever, I'm going to really let God fight my battles. I'm going to trust His timing and His ways and know that I don't have to be this all-powerful-superwoman-business woman. I need to be a servant of the Lord and trust that HE has my back. Its like, over the years I worked with high power business women that were at times, difficult to work with and no-nonsense. And I think it's ok to have standards and be a good business woman BUT if we are being mean, rude and just plain emotional, that aint biblical.  So, please, don't take this that you have to be some wimp. The Proverbs 31 woman was a STRONG businesswoman but she understood submission to God & her husband. She knew that she had to be led by God in her dealings and not what she picked up from other bosses. 

Lets ponder this: HOW are we any different than the world if we fight like them? Bicker like them? Argue like them? I had to ask myself, Heather.. where did you get this mindset concerning doing business?

Romans 12:2 says "And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

And, my husband checked me.. in saying that I needed to speak directly to who is causing the strife, not run to his manager and complain. Now, THAT was hard but He was right. I never had a full convo with the guy and it's been through email. Is it even fair? Even after we had our conversation, I still wasn't 100% satisfied but I realized that the Lord is growing my faith. Even if my event is Christian and I want Gods glory to hit that place.. along the way I may work with unbelievers. I may work with people that are trying to ruffle my feathers & are being used by the enemy! If the enemy knows what drives me nuts, he's gonna send people my way to distract me in that very area. BUT God will use it to mature me if I pass the test. 

So, are you giving into the bait of that co-worker.. that family member... that friend.. that boss that is DRIVING you up the wall? This is your chance to grow! You've been asking God to use you and then when the test came, you ran! You responded like you used to in the world! The proof is in your pudding honey and at times we can be so emotional that we don't even give the Lord a chance to FIGHT on our behalf. 

So, who is fighting your battles?

You?

Or the Lord?

It MAY be hard to grasp this concept of truly resting and trusting the Lord because we are in a society that screams, "MOVE, take ACTION, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!" But at the same time, the Lord may be speaking into your heart to rest. With a whisper He is trying to show you your own heart. That you move & take action and you don't wait for his response. You move based on your high emotions. You move based on how you feel that day. You move based on what you saw on TV. You move based on what mama & whoever said. God sent you to that place to be an example but.. you haven't started because you're too busy arguing with spirits. We have to remember that this fight is not PHYSICAL but spiritual! 

And don't get me wrong, there's a time for correction in the workplace. But I can assure you that God will show you where YOU need to change long before He shows you where your co-worker needs to change. 

BUT guess what? God repays us when we are treated badly & we are honoring Him.  I don't know about you, but I want the Lords rewards.. not this worlds. (1 Peter 2)

How long must the Lord fight with you to get His point across? 

Just a few things:

1. There's a BOOK sale today & tomorrow! ALL of our books are only $10 each! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com. No code needed! :)

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA. We also have our New Years Service at the same place at 10pm EST!

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book,  Dusty Crowns, here! 

5. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 30,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

God loves you like crazy, 

I love ya'll!

Heather Lindsey 

learning to embrace my natural curl and growing my hair out

hey there, thanks for stopping by to read my blog.

today i want to share with you how i am learning (because i am still learning) how to embrace my natural curl and grow my hair out.

firstly my hair history... i've use hair straighteners on my hair for the last 10 years, the first half of which i actually straightened it and the second half of which i use it to curl my hair. they were GHDs but were still very damaging to my hair. any time i wanted to let my hair dry naturally it would be a very frizzy mess of curls and straight bits and ringlets and waves, it couldn't decide what it should do because it was so damaged.

then one day in may this year, when we were celebrating my husband's birthday in london with my cousin everything changed.

i had been feeling strange about how 'natural' my hair was, i talk about natural haircare and natural beauty all the time on my youtube channel, but i felt like my hair was the one area in which i wasn't really practicing what i preached.

so that weekend in london i washed my hair as normal and let it dry naturally over breakfast with my cousin. before showering i had asked her if she would help me sort my hair for the day, saying that i'd leave it to dry naturally but that 'because it would be such a mess' i could use some help putting it up. anyway, once it had dried she looked at me and told me that i'd be crazy to do anything to it, rather it looked amazing just left down. her husband and mine agreed so profoundly that i spent the day in london with my natural hair (yes, i was looking in every window and bus reflection to check it throughout the day).

the only other time i'd had an epiphany like this about my hair was when i went on a lake adventure day in a wetsuit and i knew there'd be no power socket. that was when i was dating Pete (my now husband), and it would be the first time he'd see my real hair. i had spent a long time the week leading up to it dreading him seeing 'the real me'. BUT, when he saw my natural curls he didn't laugh, he didn't joke, instead he stared. and later he told me that he dreamt that his future wife would have hair like that. awesome!

so, with these combined experiences i really felt i had the confidence to go for it. i spoke with my cousin about how i should manage at work, as i felt i looked unprofessional with my hair all in 'disarray'. she said 'wear a killer outfit and do your make-up properly, then whack a grip in the front bit' - very sound advice to which i still keep.

so i've only used heat on my hair 3 times since may. once at the hairdressers and the other two for special occasions.

i've had to have a lot of encouragement along the way to stick with it. Pete has been really amazing at boosting my self-esteem where necessary and tell me that i look beautiful when i look as though i'm faffing. particularly when i was going on my birthday meal back in july...

my family are the most lovely and awesome bunch of people i know, and i respect their opinions greatly, and on the odd occasion they'd seen my real hair they had been less than complimentary, instead they had called it 'frizzy' or 'messy' or told me to go and sort my hair out. it was with sincere trepidation that i would ever let them see my real hair for fear of their comments really shaping the way i saw myself.

so for my birthday meal i spent a lot of time preparing myself and Pete spent a lot of time encouraging me and told me that he thought i looked beautiful and that it didn't matter about anyone else's opinion. and he was right. as it happens it seems like someone had forewarned my family that i was nervous about my hair and that they should all compliment it, so they went out of their way to be nice about it - which (although it was a little disingenuous) i loved and did improve my mood a lot.

since then, they've got used to seeing my real hair and they actually like it! at my grandads 80th, he said 'i can't believe you ever straightened it'.

yes, there's a lot of emotional baggage attached to my hair, it is after all supposed to be my crowning glory, and the thing that makes me attractive to men, it's supposed to be sexy and lustrous and shiny. it's supposed to look polished and healthy.

i think i'd really reached a tipping point in May, further helped by my having found plenty of split ends, and realising that my hair was not growing out, however much i wanted it to.

so, in the pursuit of long hair and gorgeous shiny natural locks, i embarked on this crazy journey to just let my hair be. here's some things i'm doing to help my hair restore itself:

• trimming my split ends - i bought a pair of professional hair scissors from boots, and have been using them to trim off any split ends i find. there were loads to begin with, and by removing them have noticed the shine come back to my hair, and the curls start to look more even. (be careful because trimming split ends can be really addictive!)
• haircuts - i hadn't had my hair cut professionally in 4 years, instead i've been doing it myself and so it had lost some of it's shape. i spent a lot of money on a professional cut and it made me feel like a million dollars, so i'll probably go annually from no on.
• shampoo and condition - every  2 days i shampoo and condition my hair. i'm currently using that Jason Biotin range, which seems to be the first natural conditioner to moisturise my hair without leaving it feeling greasy. 
• finger combing - i do this when i get out the bath and shower, and this helps the curls to dry more evenly.
• gently does it! - as with my face, the best way to look after your hair is to be gentle with it and respect it. instead of roughly towel drying as i used to, i just gently pat it and smooth the towel over it to get rid of excess moisture before just leaving it to dry.
• eat well - this is something i've always done for the functioning of my own body, but it's important to remember that shiny hair is encouraged by a plant-strong, nutrient-dense diet. get as many fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds into your diet to help it grow. i don't take supplements at all, instead i just eat real food and lots of it.
• water - again, like with your skin, your hair benefits from you drinking water, so get as much in as possible. i try to get at least 8 pints a day!
• exercise - now this is an area i'm definitely learning in. i haven't been the best exerciser in the past, and i am constantly changing my routine because of the changing seasons. however the majority of the year i spend on my bike riding long rides in my local forest and no matter the season i am always walking everywhere, and hiking on holidays too. one thing i need to work on which will help a lot with the shine of my hair is making sure i sweat more, so i'll be working on that one in the coming months!
• silk pillows - i have one which i don't use, but i might get it back into use to see how it goes. this should really help prevent split ends and encourage shine.
• invisibobbles - i find sleeping with long hair very tricky, and currently pop it up using an invisibobble. it doesn't catch and stays in my hair all night. i'm not sure that it's particularly eco-friendly, but it does the job for now.
• coconut oil - the magical wonder product that works for everything - popping this on the end once in a while will help provide moisture to your hair and is the best and only hair treatment i would ever use or recommend.

So here's my video on the subject in case you haven't already seen it:

I hope you all have a lovely day, thank you so much for reading,

Alissa ♥