"Why Most People Waste Their Single Life"

Can I let you in on a very real conversation I had with my husband tonight?

Me: Babe, I have a speaking engagement in September in this certain state. 

Cornelius: Is it confirmed? 

Me: No, they just requested me. 

Cornelius: We will have a newborn and a 2 year old. Heather, I know you want to help people and I get it but we can't be so focused on going on the road that we aren't taking care of our home.
*Sorry, I didn't announce it here, but I am pregnant! :) Due early July 2015*

Me: Wait, what babe? I never leave the home unkept!

Cornelius: I know Heather, but things are changing now. Your family is a priority before your speaking engagements. If you travel on Friday or Saturday, then I would have to study with 2 babies and then get them ready for church. So, if you plan on going or you really feel led to go to a certain one, make sure that my mom or someone is here to keep the babies so we can keep this ship moving.

Me: You're right. I will adjust and make sure that I'm taking as many and I will be sure to be led by the Lord.

My family 

As soon as our conversation finished, this scripture grew in my heart:

1 Corinthians 7:33-35

I should like you to be free of anxieties. An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord.

But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,

and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is anxious about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy in both body and spirit. A married woman, on the other hand, is anxious about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

I am telling you this for your own benefit, not to impose a restraint upon you, but for the sake of propriety and adherence to the Lord without distraction.

You maybe thinking, "HEATHER! That is NOT fair! How is he going to tell you that you cannot take as many speaking engagements? Why can't you just take one kid with you? Why not this.. why not that? How is he gonna CONTROL you?! Nobody should control you! 

Well, to answer that question: 


Matthew 11:5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

My  husband and I are one flesh. YOU lose the right to be "independent" of him or her when you get married. You have a responsibility to ANSWER to someone else. You left your family, your single life, your ways, your mindset, your decisions and you become ONE flesh with your spouse. And.. if you do run off & ignore what they say..

Mark 3:25 And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.

Amos 3:3 How can two walk together unless they agree?

So if you continue in your separate thinking, your house will be divided and it won't stand. There will be frustration, confusion and sorrow. WHY bring that independent, rebellious attitude into a marriage? Then, when you have kids.. they will feel the wrath and so will your spouse who feels like a single parent. This is why you make sure you discuss these things before the ring. I knew that my husband was a family man (as I'm family woman) & I knew that the priority was family first, THEN ministry. He didn't want a wife that was out of the home for 90 hours a week, so I wasn't surprised. Same goes from me to him. I didn't want a husband that traveled and was out of the home for 90 hours a week. I didn't want a man that was NEVER at home. I didn't want a man that never came home at night. 

Even in the above, I was tempted to think the same way as many of you that read that first part until the birth of our son Logan. Then, I realized how much he needs his mama. I realized that God gave me a responsibility to raise and teach Logan and I cannot push that responsibility off on mama in law & them. I'm still breastfeeding Logan at 21 months and when I'm away, I have to pump, prepare and travel with the milk. When I'm not at home, there's a missing piece in our household.  I put down Logan every night for bed and I enjoy these moments that we can never get back. We have a church and a local responsibility so on Sundays, I get our son ready and I'm up with him at night. I want my husband to be prepared and alert to preach on Sunday morning. My family needs me. What good am I if I run all over the world to help everybody else but I'm neglecting to take care of my first responsibility, my FIRST ministry, my HOME?

Titus 2:4-5 New Living Translation (NLT)

"These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children,

To live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[a] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God."

Now, don't get me wrong. I get that women can work outside the home. I get that they can travel without their families. I get it. BUT you have to do what works for YOUR home. In my home, we travel together, work together and pretty much do everything together. We do take man trips & girl trips here & there. There's no "law" in our home. BUT there is a level or respect that says, my family is FIRST after God. (So, GOD is our entire foundation as He comes first, then my family, work & ministry life) My husband rarely takes speaking engagements mostly because he thinks it will disrupt the flow of our home and traveling with children takes ALOT out of you. We don't want our son to feel second to ministry as a preachers child. I believe that most "PK"s rebel because mama & daddy put them second to the church and the stage. I've talked to the most stable PK's & I'm like.. WHAT did your parents do differently? They always respond: "they included me in everything. They never felt like they had to compete with the church." And in our home, we like to set that same atmosphere. You still may not understand why we do what we do.. but you could only REALLY understand if you lived in our home with us! :) It works for US. So, communicate with your one-day spouse & get on the same page PRIOR to "I do" so you can make sure there's no huge surprises there. 

NOW to main point.

If you're single. Excuse my english: 

You aint gotta deal with that. 

If you're single you can go backpack in Europe for 6 months, eat cereal every night for dinner and nobody will complain, you can take a job as a flight attendant and fly all over the world! You can join 20 ministries at church and devote your weekends to your friends and feeding the homeless. You can go do missions in Africa for 6 months, you can wear yoga pants ALL day long with your hair wrapped up.

This isn't to "high" five single life or to bash marriage because BOTH have their proper seasons. The focus is to get you to realize that some of ya'll are WASTING your single life WONDERING "When your Adam is going to wake up?!" You're worried about God's timing. You're wondering, hoping and wishing about your husband. Every new guy that comes in the church "is your husband" and your focus is totally off! There's a SEASON under the sun for everything! You are literally WAITING for your life to start when you meet that "person." So, you won't buy a house, you won't buy a bed, you won't do much of anything because you're "waiting for your  man."

You've made it an idol. 

Let's look at this example: 

If I'm walking towards a building, my eyes are totally on the building. I'm not focused on what's going on around me, my eyes are glued to the building. My focus is set. I'm headed in that direction. 

This is how it should be when we are single and this prepares us for marriage. Our eyes our set on Jesus! He's our foundation, our hope, our peace, our wisdom, our joy! 

But, some of us are focused on the shed that is opposite of the "building." Although we know that we should trust God & live for Him.. we still feel like maybe God is taking too long and we have to "help" Him out. So, we take our focus from the building to the shed. But if you would turn around and focus back on the building with the RIGHT foundation, then God can really lead your life. There will be many seasons in your life. You will have quiet seasons. You will have seasons where God has you busy. You will have seasons where you feel lonely. You will have seasons where God wants you to travel. You may ask, Heather, I don't have the money do "do what I want to do." Honey, if God wants you to do it, He will provide a way! Let Him lead your footsteps. 

I look back over my life and I believe that I wasted ALOT of time as a single. I remember that I had an opportunity to go study abroad to London during my Junior Year in college but I passed on it because my then boyfriend didn't want to go. I was so insecure that he was going to cheat on me, (which he did when I was right down the street) so I PASSED on going to London for some man that I ain't with today. That was just ONE of many time wasters when I was single. 

Do I miss being single?

Single Days NYC 2004

                                                             

Of course not! I LOVE my little family. But I DO miss the FREE time that I once had to roam about uninterrupted. This morning, I was woken up by a 21 month old at 6AM who wanted me to make him some juice. So, I woke up and made juice. Then, he started screaming, "Eggs mommy! I want eggs!!" So, I made him eggs. (Mind you, I'm 3 months pregnant and still battling morning sickness). Daddy was downstairs working out and I didn't want to interrupt him.. so, to making the eggs I went. Then, I needed to change his diaper. Get him showered, dressed. Then,  pray, then read, then do this.. then do that. 

I USED to wake up when I was single and I would go straight to my quiet time bay window and I would spend an hour with the Lord before work. 

Life has surely changed. And I wouldn't change it for everything but it does put things in perspective. I am THANKFUL that I set a foundation as a single to spend time with God because now that I'm married, it's even HARDER to get to that place but because I KNOW better, I am intentional about that time. So, don't wake up in regret one day of all of the time you wasted when you could have been TOTALLY devoted to the Lord. 

If you have children and you're not married, you may be thinking, what about me?

I'm not sure if your situation but if you have shared custody, you're still free to run around when your child is with the other parent! Or, if you have good, solid family members that will keep your child while you're away-- that's great too! Just don't stay away too long because again, you have responsibilities to be a mother or father. 

I pray that you really hear my heart on this. When you trust God's timing, you will be focusing on HIM, not WHEN.

And honestly, this mindset of "waiting" for your man doesn't hold too well in marriage. Once you DO get married, you will look to your spouse to fill every void, every hobby and make you happy because you set in your mind for YEARS that a relationship will ONLY make you happy. It's like it was the missing piece to your joy. But GOD is the only missing FOUNDATION and from Him comes all gifts. I ran into this problem when we got married because I made everything about my husband that I didn't have a LIFE. Those first 6 months were hard because we moved to a new state and we didn't have friends. But in my "head" I had this fantasy of what I think marriage should be like and I put PRESSURE on my now husband in the beginning because of this lie I made up in my head. Things got much better after I started blogging, doing small groups with women then eventually starting Pinky Promise because life was back dependent on God and not a human. My husband is amazing, but a terrible god.

Don't train your mindset to think that joy comes from people. It comes from the Lord.

So, what do you do?

1. Go spend time with God.  Let Him lead & direct your paths.
2. Find a good church home that teaches the TRUE word of God. Not all that crazy, weird, confusion.
3. Join a local Pinky Promise Group for sisterhood. (Or find something in your area with like-minded Christians
4. Obey God immediately.
5. Renew your mind daily. You can't live off of last weeks bible study.

Hugs!

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

And then there were 4. Coming soon: July 2015

Just a few things:

1. Find my books, purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA. We also have our New Years Service at the same place at 10pm EST! Join us! 

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book,  Dusty Crowns, here! 

5. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 30,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

"Dry Seasons: God, where are You?"

Have you ever felt like you don't feel God's presence? Maybe, you go to church, you're trying to do the right thing. You've cut off bad relationships. You're REALLY trying to live for God but it STILL feels like you don't sense Him near you. You STILL feel like He's not giving you wisdom. You STILL feel like maybe.. I need to pray more. Or maybe, study more. Maybe then, God will make me feel full again.

If you've ever felt this way, I can relate with you.

But, this is what I've learned.

Just because I don't feel God's presence, doesn't mean He's not there. God is omnipresent. God is present everywhere! My feelings aren't the determining factor on if God is there or not. At what point did I make my feelings my idol or my god? And why do I keep trying to earn God like He's man? I am righteous by faith in the blood of Jesus, not in my works! Yes, faith without works is dead but if my faith is in Jesus then I will NATURALLY do work & live for Him. NOT the other way around.

Sadly, I thought my works made my faith. So, I did things & I said: LOOK GOD! Do you love me more?! Look God, I prayed. Where is my sticker? Look God, I served at church.. do you love me more? James makes the statement “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also” (James 2:26). Faith without works is dead faith because the lack of works reveals an unchanged life or a spiritually dead heart. There are many Scriptures that make it very clear that true saving faith will results in a CHANGED life, which is demonstrated by the “works” we do. How we live reveals what we believe and whether the faith we profess to have is a living faith.

James 2:14–26 is sometimes taken out of context in an attempt to create a works-based system of righteousness, but that is contrary to many other Scriptures.The scripture is not saying that our works make us righteous before God, but he is making it clear that real saving faith is demonstrated by good works. Works are not the cause of salvation; works are the evidence of salvation. The person who claims to be a Christian but lives in TOTAL disobedience to Christ with a life that shows no works has a false or dead faith and isn't saved. James is clearly showing you the difference between two different types of faith—truth faith that saves and false faith that is dead. So, in the midst of my dry season, I learned that it is out of my love for Jesus, I spend time with God. It is out of my love for my family that I serve them. Not for a cookie or a reward, but simply because I love them & it aint' got nothing to do with my emotions but everything to do with my unconditional love towards them.

You see, your feelings are constantly subject to change. You eat a huge meal you may feel heavy and sleepy with no energy. Then, the next day you drink a green smoothie-- so you're on a high again. Then, the next day your boss scolds you and .. there goes your mood again.

Why are your moods so unstable? Is that all it takes to push you off of your rocker?

"Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."- 1 Peter 5:8

Satan has watched you and many just like you for YEARS so he & his little demons pretty much know what makes you tick.

Whenever my feelings or my emotions try to run to cling onto some silly understanding of a huge God, I'm reminded of:

"Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers? Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?"- Isaiah 40:12

Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust." - Isaiah 40:15

How COMFORTING?! God holds the universe in the palm of his HAND! What perspective! 

And maybe, just maybe you are going through a dry season in your life because you are clinging on to so many things and people that God cannot even speak life into your hardened heart? Maybe, just maybe you're heart has been in things, money, pride, status and this world?  God cares so much about you that He will allow for you to be stripped from worldly things so He will have His proper place. He refuses to share His glory with anyone else & He is JEALOUS for you. Do you think God is just gonna sit there & let you seek after this world & not CARE? God surly has a way of getting our attention again. He knows how to bring a man to repentence. So, stop wrestling with Him.

I challenge you sister to keep blogging, keep praying, keep spending crazy time with God, keep pressing in and don't move until God pushes you to move. In that moment where we feel like all hope is lost, God is whispering into our ears "As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength.- Psalm 138:3"

Just to give you a few practice tips during this season:

1. Don't quit on God, He is the only One that is leading you & the only One that can HELP  you. So, spend MORE time with Him and don't run back to your past when you get uncomfortable. Spending time with God daily should be like that flight you're catching at 7am free flight to Hawaii everyday. You know good & well you wouldn't miss that all expense paid trip. So, why is it so hard for your flesh to set a time for God & stick with it but we can get up for work, a flight.. school. There's a reason you don't desire God sis & it's because you stopped giving your attention to Him!

2. Let go of anyone or anything that is hindering your walk with the Lord. Yes, that person. You know who it is! God has already made it plain to you but you're rationalizing! Stop going back & forth with it & let it go!!

3. Guard that heart! You don't have time to sit & listen to stupid love songs & music that aint' glorifying the Father. Turn off the TV, unfollow a bunch of worldly celebrities & protect your heart. Your heart grows things and if you compare your life to all of these other people, you won't enjoy this season. You will compare your life to a persons highlight reel & think that God forgot about you.

4. Be kind to others. Yes, this may seem easy to do but when you're not feeling good about yourself, sometimes its hard to be nice to others. Avoid the pity party & get UP from your depression. Get UP from your feelings! Get UP & go help someone else that is struggling! When you get your eyes off of yourself & become selfless-- you will find the joy & the beauty in sowing time & energy into others as the Lord leads you.

 5. Learn, learn & learn some more! Read Christian BOOKS, listen to encouraging podcasts and surround yourself with believers. Never stop learning and take what you learn & apply it to your daily life. But before you pick up everybody else's book--  make sure your face is in the bible first. Nothing replaces that.

I'm praying for you. I'm standing in agreement with you & so is the rest of the body of Christ. Remember that when you quit, it puts a burden on the rest of the body to pick up where you quit on God. So, hang in there! God is for you!

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com. Use code JESUS for 10% off!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book,  Dusty Crowns, here! 

5. Register for the 2015 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference2015.eventbee.com!

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 26,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting an event in LA on October 4th, I want to see you there! http://www.eventbee.com/v/pinkypromise/event?eid=169814152

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

My little family! :) Check out Logan's smile!

"Why he's NOT going to be your Husband"

Can I be honest? I believe that there's this growing trend in the church of women, "waiting for their adam" to wake up and instead of trusting God & His timing-- they are becoming distracted. Its important that if you're "waiting" for your Adam to wake up, that your eyes are completely on Jesus and not crushing on every man at the church and social media. 

Lets check out these scenarios:

1. "Girlllll, you see that new man in that blue suit at church today? He is so fine. And did you see the way he looked at me and then when he went up for prayer? I was singing at church and the Lord told me to look right and then he said.. "that's going to be your husband." And I was like ooooh myyyy gosh, it's about time, my Adam woke up!! Let me go make sure he knows that he's going to be my husband."

Response: Sis, if it's God-- He will tell BOTH parties. You cannot manipulate your will over another persons will and pray that you'll end up together. If it's really God, peace will follow and He will divinely set things up. If not, it's not Him and it's witchcraft or manipulation. So, if the above is true, then rest. The problem with the above is this:: you may have your kids and entire life planned out and he may have a girlfriend who lives in another state. Then, when he brings his girlfriend to the church and she joins your small group-- you may be mad at her because you think she took your man. BUT, God wanted to use you in each others life but because you allowed jealousy, confusion & strife into your heart-- you passed up a beautiful relationship all in the name of bitterness. And honestly, if God did tell you that "he's going to be your husband, then mind your business-- even if it takes the guy a couple years to pursue you. God isn't a liar so if it's HIM, it will happen. Time shall tell so in the interim, get your mind OFF of a ring and onto Christ. When we redirect our focus, He fills us up & we learn that we need Him, not another event.

I recall a time where me and Cornelius were engaged and he was in the bookstore after church. I wasn't visiting that weekend and this woman asked him where todays "recorded" sermon was located and he showed her-- she continued to ask and then he said, "it's right in front of you, are you blind?" (my hubby's come a long way, he used to be very blunt! lol) She responded: "I'm not blind, matter of fact, I like exactly what I see."And he said, "I'm sorry, but I'm engaged." She said, "you're not married yet." Huh? Blank-stare. Don't be that woman sis.

(While Courting- Aug 2009)

2. GIRL! Have you seen so & so's instagram page? He talks so much about Jesus. I'm going to go on  his page and post things everyday so maybe he will notice me & reach out to me. 

Response: Well, your friend has been checking for so & so too and she thinks that he's the one for her too. Now, she feels uncomfortable sharing things with you so it's become a competition in her mind. So, now-- both of you are quietly chasing for this mans attention and he doesn't even know either of you exist & you're slowly becoming bitter towards your friend as she reminds you of how much she likes him daily.
I'm reminded of:
Song of Soloman 8:4 "Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right."

There's a TIME that the love will be right and some of us are trying to wake up somebody else's adam.
So, until the right TIME comes, we have to rest and keep our eyes on Jesus. Remember this: If satan knows that you're thirsty for a man, he will send a man that your "old self" is attracted to but his heart won't be totally right with God. In your heart, you'll KNOW that you're settling. You will have zero peace about him but because you're lonely and tired of being single, you will continue to date him. You think in your mind that its better to be with someone than to be with no one & have to explain to others why you're single. But, if you continue in that mindset, you will ONLY dig a hole SO deep that you will eventually MISS out on the guy that God has for you.

If I can be transparent with you, I kept a boyfriend prior to my husband. I went from man to man, relationship to relationship because I liked the attention, to be loved and to be desired. But then, I kept hitting rock bottom in those relationships. And honestly, it wasn't always the guys-- it was ME. I was a TRAIN wreck. I tried to make those relationships idols and tag God's name to it. I tried to control the relationships and I continued to come up empty. I didn't need a man, I needed a Savior and I kept confusing the two. 

I wanted to be loved, cared for, thought about and protected but I didn't realize that I was searching in all the wrong places. Then, one day-- I realized that I will never be truly happy unless I'm whole in Jesus. I needed Him. So, I broke things off with my then boyfriend. I told him that I needed space and time to think because I'm confident that I was only ruining his life with my up and down confusion. I was single for a season and then I met my now husband. One of the FIRST questions my now husband asked me was pretty much this: "Do you have a boyfriend?"If I had a boyfriend, he would have kept it moving because a godly man with purpose doesn't have time for a woman with a bunch of baggage and a boyfriend. How do you expect the Holy Spirit to flow through that confusion? Why even start off on the wrong foot?

3. There's like NO men at my church, so I need to go after the ones that are there and get one before he's taken. 

Response: Sis, do you know that God can import a man? After I dated a few guys in NYC, I told the Lord that He is going to have to import my husband because I sure tried and I was TIRED of doing the picking. I told God that He's going to have to "drop" my husband from the sky and he literally did. :) My now husband had to fly into NYC for work every week so, he dropped into NYC from Atlanta. Isn't it funny how God has such a sense of humor? 

The truth:

You may think that getting into a relationship will fill your many voids but honestly, you will wake up one day and your bed may be filled with a husband and children but you still feel empty. You then blame your husband for not making you happy and nag him until you're blue in the face but it's not even him. You will tell him that he needs to work more hours, get your hair done, help more around the house or whatever else. But, it's not him.

Its you.

True joy comes from Jesus Christ and no human can ever, EVER, fill that void. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and our son, Logan-- but I understand that I have an assignment on this earth and that is to be a helper to my husband and to lead Logan to Jesus. Prior to this season, God really began to prepare my heart and show me who I was in Him. He showed me that humans are great people but terrible gods and he reminded me that marriage is a ministry of serving each other. If you get into a relationship with the mindset that someone is going to solve all of your problems, you may find that you're disappointed with unmet expectations. 

You're NOT content sis! Be honest with yourself! Go to the Lord and tell Him that you're discontent, mad, bitter or whatever else! He can WORK with an honest woman! 

4. You  meet a guy at church and you hear "he's going to be your husband" and you get so excited and gitty! But, you fail to look down at his ring finger and he's really married. 

Response: So, wait. That's not going to be your husband or is he going to leave his wife for you? Why would you ever, ever want to even start a relationship off with the foundation of adultery? And if he is dumb enough to leave his wife for you, he will most likely leave you for another after a few years of marriage.  And if you are married and you're reading this-- whatever you're searching for outside of your marriage can only be find WITHIN your marriage. You want excitement again? Get your butt up and be romantic, be exciting, pray for the spark to come back into your marriage and stop thinking that some other human can satisfy you. 


5. I'm going to another church where I can get noticed and so my husband can find me. 

Response: Sis, there's 6 billion people on this earth, if God wants you to meet someone, you will meet them and connect with them based on HIS timing, not your timing. My husband and I went to the same church and walked by each other for 3 years. We even were in the same meetings together sitting just a few feet away from one another. BUT, we didn't connect until 3 years later because we both weren't READY. As a single, I learned that if I cannot trust God for my spouse, then how can I trust Him for anything else? I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to be married and have kids one day. I let GO of trying to control it and I told God that I believe that HE put the desire in my heart for a family. So, since HE put that desire in my heart, HE is going to bring it to pass-- not ME. 

So, cheers to burning the "you're going to be my husband" card. As women, we will no longer chase down a man, instead, we will chase down Christ. The end.

And one day, you will THANK GOD that "he's not going to be your husband" because God can see what you cannot SEE. God protects you more than you'll ever know and when he DOES introduce you to HIS best for your life, you will be thankful that it didn't work out with anybody else. So, let's get back to the heart of worship. Lets get back on our face with our attention turned to Jesus and not man. 


And P.S.-- sorry that I took so long in posting again. It's been an amazing month! I connected with my birth family and met my birth mother in Vegas this past week! AND I just finished my 3rd book that will be released in July! Eek! God is faithful!


Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com. Use code JESUS for 10% off!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 24,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. I will be in Detroit speaking on June 14th and I would LOVE to meet you!! http://estore.greatergrace.org/SearchResults.asp?Cat=18

8. We are hosting an event in LA on October 4th, I want to see you there! http://www.eventbee.com/v/pinkypromise/event?eid=169814152

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Your Price Tag"

So, what's your price tag? Don't look at me like you don't have one. A price tag is the amount that a person will pay for YOU to get you to drop your standards. It doesn't have to be money either honey as you look down on women that strip or prostitute themselves to men. It could be comfort from loneliness, it could be a fine man, it could be a "bad boy," a man that serves in church, the desire to no longer be single because your clock is ticking, it could be the fear of losing friends so you go out & get drunk with them and you know it ain't right. It could be attention from a man that works in a certain occupation- like a pastor, athlete, lawyer or whatever else. It could be spending your entire check on a purse so when you hang around certain girls-- they will approve of you.

Who can get you to CHANGE their standards??? Who or what can do just that "one" thing that takes you from lifting your hands on Sunday morning to falling into sin??? And let's be clear honey, you didn't fall into that sin-- you walked right into it. You say you love Jesus.. and it just makes you frustrated at how you keep ended up in that bed, overspending or waking up from that hang-over. Why is it that you go from singing "I surrender all" on Sundays to "Put a ring on it" by Beyonce on Monday?

Let's be clear, NO person on this entire earth should be able to CHANGE your STANDARDS. No MAN. No WOMAN. No JOB. No NOTHING. If you aren't fully persuaded that you're strong enough to have standards in your relationships and friendships then you should pull away for a season until you're more persuaded by God than you are a human. Because what will happen is this: Your friends and your little boyfriend will determine your life. They will determine when you have sex, when you party, when you drink, when you do whatever else. All the while, you really don't wan to do these things. You KNOW it's wrong but deep down... you just don't know how to stop. You don't know how to tell anyone NO in fear of rejection. Then, you will get into a car accident and die and stand before God. He will say: Why didn't you do what I called you to do? And you will bow your head.. and say.. "But.. I didn't want to displease anyone." Christ will look at you with tears in His eyes & say.. "My daughter, you made those people, things your god. When they called, you answered. When they told you to do this, you did it. When they told you to do that- you obeyed. When I called you-- you ignored Me, rejected my instructions and with deep sorrow.. I have to say... get away from Me. I never KNEW you." (Matthew 7:23).

I sense such an urgency in the body of Christ. We are being pushed around by the wind by those we spend our time with. We have forgotten about God and replaced Him with the opinions of this silly world. We have devalued our worth and opened up our hearts to silly music and TV shows that have set our standards FOR us. It should bring great CONVICTION to you to listen to certain music. It should bring great CONVICTION to you if you hang out with certain girls. If it doesn't- I pray that you sit before the Lord and ask Him to break your heart for what breaks His heart. The danger in no longer being convicted of your lifestyle is this: Your heart has been hardened to sin & you've turned away from God. You've turned your heart from Him to the shows, the men, the job, the approval, that whatever else. You still go to church on Sunday, get your emotional fix and leave feeling approved that you did your "good" deed for the day. Then, you don't touch your bible again until you get in your car on Sunday and head to church. It is a sign that you NO long BELONG to Him because you no longer CARE. And.. you call yourself a Christian.

So.. what makes you think attending church is going to make you righteous?? Although you confess God as your Savior; your LIFE demonstrates that your heart belongs to Satan. Yes, I said it. Satan. You like his music. You like his sons. You like his places to go (clubs, strip clubs). You like his daughters. You like his hate. You like his unforgiveness. You like his homosexuality. You like his pornography. You like his clothes. You like his adultery. You like his gossip. You like his shacking up. You like his sex outside of marriage. If you really believed in your heart that Jesus was Lord you would HATE the sin you once LOVED. You would intentionally PURSUE GOD and STOP pursuing SIN!! This doesn't mean you're perfect- it just means that you refuse to pull your pants down for that random man! It just means you turn that stupid music off when you're tempted to bounce to it. You turn off the TV and sit at the feet of Christ and repent DAILY!! You're intentionally PURSING GOD DAILY!!!

Sis, I'm crying out to you. Crying out that you let go of whoever is pushing you around. Let go of the distractions. Let go of whatever is causing you to STUMBLE.  If you only knew the destination of the sin that you're in.. you would never entertain it. You would run from it. You would hate it. Satan never shows you the end.. he only entices you with what you can see, hear, touch & feel...

As you read this-- understand that you cannot wait for your feelings to agree with the decision to live for God. You have to do what you know is RIGHT and your feelings with CATCH up. So, pick up the phone and shut it down, cut it off-- do what you have to do. You cannot afford to live a life outside of Christ ANYMORE. Read my blog on "How to Spend time with God"-- start there. Find a local church that preaches the word of God, pure and uncut. Obey God quickly with what He tells you to do. You seriously HAVE to start SOMEONE. Start right NOW. When you make a decision to live for Christ, HE will HELP you and MEET you right there.

I am praying for you & agreeing with YOU.

If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

You can find my new book here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com called "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts."

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

Lonely Days

Lonely days are no fun. We all have them. Whether married, single, or divorced, you will have some lonely days. But it seems that some people have more lonely days than others. It seems that those with higher callings on their lives are usually people that struggle with loneliness. It's almost like God sets you apart or calls you out of unfruitful past friendships and relationships, and then keeps you alone to Himself for a short period to work things out of you. Many of us were so dependent on a man or woman in our lives that we totally ignored God and couldn't connect with him like we needed to for our callings sake. So what did God do? Take everyone away from us for a season, so we can be with him alone.

 But where does the loneliness come from?

Loneliness usually comes when you have developed a need for others. I know many will agree with this, because when you have spent your life living for others, depending on people to validate you, make you feel better about you, chasing friends and friendships, always needing people around to make you feel wanted or needed, then when you are suddenly alone, you feel very lonely. But if you suffer with any of these issues, loneliness is what you need! Not forever, but at least for a season. You see, JESUS wants to be that friend you are searching for. Don't you know that God put a need for himself in your life? Your purpose lies in him, so you must know him to know YOU! Your reason for being lies in him, so you must know him to know why YOU are YOU! And when you spend your life chasing friends or using people to find yourself, all you end up doing is having a bunch of one sided relationships, or failed relationships because you are searching for answers in the wrong places. And loneliness becomes a thorn to you even though being alone can be GOOD for you. When I was single, I realized that everytime I felt the pressure of loneliness, it was GOD calling me closer to Him. I would never trade those years of being a single woman where I poured out to God for hours. It was such a stretching period for me as God removed all of those things I placed my comfort in.

Don't RUN from this season. Embrace it. Draw from Christ's strength and learn how to fellowship with HIM. YOU will need this foundation later in life.  

Jesus says that He is your friend and He will not leave you comfortless. Read John chapter 14 and 15 and you will see that his love & concern is you. He wants you to be His friend and find yourself in Him! So the next time you are feeling lonely or all alone, rejoice because He is working the false friendships and relationships out of you and working on His relationship with you. 

God loves you like crazy. Trust Him.
Love always,
Heather