Valentines Day: Single Awareness Day?

So, February 14th has rolled around and you're single again. You may have a few quick thoughts about it.

1. Dang, I'm single again & it's another stupid holiday where I have to hear about peoples love for each other. 

2. Forget a relationship, there's no good men out there.

3. I'm content in Christ. (talking yourself into it)

4. No, really-- I'm chilling. I trust God's timing & I've TRIED to make it happen by myself & it doesn't work-- so I'm really trusting Him. (And you really mean it)

And in all honesty, you're probably thinking-- Heather cannot understand what I am going through because she's married. Honey, I've been single. I had to be single at one point in order to get married. And if I was single, you would probably say: "How can you speak on what I'm going through & you single with me- you don't have a man!" I'm writing this very blog because I understand what you're going through. I know that feeling and those thoughts that pop in your head & say "How much longer, God?" or "When is my time?" You may look around you and see a bunch of standard less men & think-- will I ever meet a guy that actually .. loves God, won't screw me, recognizes his purpose & really lives for Christ?? YES! IT IS SO POSSIBLE!!!!! The question is, are you going to have a pair of thighs in your bed tonight as you deal with your loneliness OR are you going to sit at the feet of Christ and enjoy Him?

 You cannot get so tired of being single that you settle and go out with some random man today or any other day-- "just to do something." You will go out to the restaurant and see all of these other happy couples and it will make you want what they have.  You'll compare your life to their life as you snuggle up to this man that you know is more interested in taking you home & exploring your body than setting boundaries and actually living by them. You really don't know him, but you tonight is fun to you because you can pretend that you have a real relationship. Then, after dinner-- you'll go back and forth with yourself on the ride home. Should I invite him up? Should I not? Gosh, he's fine. We're having such a good time. He makes me laugh. I don't want this night to end! So now, your emotions are leading your life. So, you'll invite him upstairs. I mean, you're not really going to do anything, right? You have this under control. So you're upstairs and you know it's wrong. Yes. You. With your arms raised in the church, serving the Lord on Sunday. You don't want to do it (so you say). But your actions prove otherwise. Your actions prove that you want what pleases your flesh. You are tired of being alone and it's much better to feel temporary pleasure than to deal with feeling lonely. So, one thing leads to the next & you end up having sex with him.

Then, the overwhelming guilt overwhelms you. WHY WHY WHY you ask yourself! WHY did I fall yet again to this same temptation?!??! WHY can't I just live for Christ? Why can't I meet anyone who will wait for me & honor my body? And WHY did his phone ring afterward at 3AM from some chick named Tiffany who cannot wait to see him again soon & do dirty things to him? And you didn't have a condom- but whatever you think. You begin to not even care about your own body. You think God hates you when He really loves you. You think that you'll never be forgiven so you don't bother repenting.

Three months later. You find out you have a STD and you're pregnant and you haven't heard from him since that day. He's changed his number and you have a baby on the way. You're about to be a single mother and this was never the plan.

If only you knew the end from the beginning. If only you knew, you would never, ever would have gone out with Him. Let's evaluate a few things. 

1. Most likely, the Holy Spirit told you NOT to go out on that date. It's like.. you got this check in your spirit. But you rationalized and ignored it. A little date won't hurt anybody. When God checks you-- HE is WARNING you. You have to listen to that gut check in your stomach.

2. Then, when the thoughts began to pop in your head & even consider having sex with the man, you should have 2 Corinthians 10:5 those thoughts by "Casting down every thought that is contrary to God's word by speaking the Word over your life." Just because you messed up and when on the date doesn't mean you continue in your sin & throw out the bible. Fight BACK. 

3. Then, we have to look at 1 Corinthians 10:13- "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." So, God is saying that I WILL GIVE YOU A WAY OUT!! Don't GIVE IN!! Even if you are in a so-called committed relationship, having sex outside of marriage will NEVER glorify God. If you want to be committed to each other- prove it & get married. Don't feed me the "we only have sex with each other lie"-- because you've made each other your gods & are using worldly reasons for not getting married. The bible tells us to flee fornication. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." (1 Corinthians 6:18)

4. Now, you have a STD & a child on the way. Don't beat yourself down, prayerfully-- you can get medicine and believe God for your healing. Hopefully it's curable. There ARE consequences for disobedience to God and although God may be forgiving and loving-- HIV, Herpes & AIDS may not be. The Lord has a plan for your child & so repent of your past sin and raise that child to learn and know Christ.

5. Bet you didn't think all of the above would happen based on a little date? I want to encourage you to be God-led in every decision that you make. Talk to the Holy Spirit. Vent and be honest-- Tell Him you want a spouse! Tell Him you want to do it His way & then start actually LIVING like it. If your one day husband did happen to walk by your home, would he see you getting out of the car & going into the house with some man super late? Are you avoiding the appearance of evil? Can God even BRING your spouse or is that seat always taken by Jimmy, Tom and Dejuan?

Some of you may think I'm too deep. Saying, it doesn't take all that Heather! Actually, it does take all that. God commands us to be holy as He is holy!! Why do we think we can belittle the holiness of God based on our limited mindset???!

Now, you have a choice. You can either be single God's way or single the worlds way. If you want to be single God's way, then today is a beautiful day because you know at the right TIME, you'll be in a relationship. It's just NOT your time yet. So you'll stay off of Facebook, Instagram or whatever else distracts you today into feeling sorry for being single. You must guard your heart at all times. You won't watch Scandal & other sex-adultry-driven shows because you're working on something and you cannot afford to plant those things in your heart. You will ENJOY this season because you know its temporary and each season in your life builds up to the next one.

Or, you can be single the worlds way. Go find you a date on Match.com, get you some sex and suffer the consequences. You may not see yourself suffering right away-- but when you're living outside God's will for your life and taking your life into your OWN hands, you will suffer. "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Proverbs 14:12. So what "seems right to you?" Does having sex outside of marriage "seem" right? Does dating randoms "seems right?" Does staying with that unsaved guy "seem" right because you're trying to get him saved? What lie have you picked up over the years and called it your truth? Just because you BELIEVED the lie in your head doesn't mean that God agrees with it. 

If you really want God's best for your life, it's going to cost you something. Stop skipping around here & living the way that you want to live.. & then wonder why life isn't working for you. Go back to your FIRST love. "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love" - Revelation 2:4 Many people will celebrate today and wish they were in your shoes if they were single. They WISH the would have slowed down, trusted God & NOT married the person they married. They had all of the warning signs but instead-- they ignored them. They liked the IMAGE of but didn't understand the work & effort that went into it. 

Today & everyday after is what you make it. I would have never met my husband if I kept me a little boyfriend on the side. How can God trust me with one of His sons if I wasn't one of His daughters? We can say we want a godly man-- but if we continue to cuss like a sailor, drop it like everything is hot, argue with everyone, sleep with everyone... we're showing who our father really is. We will attract the same kind of man based on how we act & live. Just "saying" you're a daughter doesn't make you one. How you live this life identifies WHO your father really is.

Few reminders:
My husband wrote an amazing book, "So, You Want To Be Married" & you can find it here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com. It ties in with what I wrote above & so much more.

If you need accountability, JOIN a Pinky Promise group. You can find a group in your local area-- there's over 10,000 women that have joined in the past year.  www.pinkypromisemovement.com 

You can find fabulous purity rings and bracelets that remind you of your decision to honor God here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com  And just for reading today's blog- you'll get 10% off of your order. Use the discount code LOVE

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Your Price Tag"

So, what's your price tag? Don't look at me like you don't have one. A price tag is the amount that a person will pay for YOU to get you to drop your standards. It doesn't have to be money either honey as you look down on women that strip or prostitute themselves to men. It could be comfort from loneliness, it could be a fine man, it could be a "bad boy," a man that serves in church, the desire to no longer be single because your clock is ticking, it could be the fear of losing friends so you go out & get drunk with them and you know it ain't right. It could be attention from a man that works in a certain occupation- like a pastor, athlete, lawyer or whatever else. It could be spending your entire check on a purse so when you hang around certain girls-- they will approve of you.

Who can get you to CHANGE their standards??? Who or what can do just that "one" thing that takes you from lifting your hands on Sunday morning to falling into sin??? And let's be clear honey, you didn't fall into that sin-- you walked right into it. You say you love Jesus.. and it just makes you frustrated at how you keep ended up in that bed, overspending or waking up from that hang-over. Why is it that you go from singing "I surrender all" on Sundays to "Put a ring on it" by Beyonce on Monday?

Let's be clear, NO person on this entire earth should be able to CHANGE your STANDARDS. No MAN. No WOMAN. No JOB. No NOTHING. If you aren't fully persuaded that you're strong enough to have standards in your relationships and friendships then you should pull away for a season until you're more persuaded by God than you are a human. Because what will happen is this: Your friends and your little boyfriend will determine your life. They will determine when you have sex, when you party, when you drink, when you do whatever else. All the while, you really don't wan to do these things. You KNOW it's wrong but deep down... you just don't know how to stop. You don't know how to tell anyone NO in fear of rejection. Then, you will get into a car accident and die and stand before God. He will say: Why didn't you do what I called you to do? And you will bow your head.. and say.. "But.. I didn't want to displease anyone." Christ will look at you with tears in His eyes & say.. "My daughter, you made those people, things your god. When they called, you answered. When they told you to do this, you did it. When they told you to do that- you obeyed. When I called you-- you ignored Me, rejected my instructions and with deep sorrow.. I have to say... get away from Me. I never KNEW you." (Matthew 7:23).

I sense such an urgency in the body of Christ. We are being pushed around by the wind by those we spend our time with. We have forgotten about God and replaced Him with the opinions of this silly world. We have devalued our worth and opened up our hearts to silly music and TV shows that have set our standards FOR us. It should bring great CONVICTION to you to listen to certain music. It should bring great CONVICTION to you if you hang out with certain girls. If it doesn't- I pray that you sit before the Lord and ask Him to break your heart for what breaks His heart. The danger in no longer being convicted of your lifestyle is this: Your heart has been hardened to sin & you've turned away from God. You've turned your heart from Him to the shows, the men, the job, the approval, that whatever else. You still go to church on Sunday, get your emotional fix and leave feeling approved that you did your "good" deed for the day. Then, you don't touch your bible again until you get in your car on Sunday and head to church. It is a sign that you NO long BELONG to Him because you no longer CARE. And.. you call yourself a Christian.

So.. what makes you think attending church is going to make you righteous?? Although you confess God as your Savior; your LIFE demonstrates that your heart belongs to Satan. Yes, I said it. Satan. You like his music. You like his sons. You like his places to go (clubs, strip clubs). You like his daughters. You like his hate. You like his unforgiveness. You like his homosexuality. You like his pornography. You like his clothes. You like his adultery. You like his gossip. You like his shacking up. You like his sex outside of marriage. If you really believed in your heart that Jesus was Lord you would HATE the sin you once LOVED. You would intentionally PURSUE GOD and STOP pursuing SIN!! This doesn't mean you're perfect- it just means that you refuse to pull your pants down for that random man! It just means you turn that stupid music off when you're tempted to bounce to it. You turn off the TV and sit at the feet of Christ and repent DAILY!! You're intentionally PURSING GOD DAILY!!!

Sis, I'm crying out to you. Crying out that you let go of whoever is pushing you around. Let go of the distractions. Let go of whatever is causing you to STUMBLE.  If you only knew the destination of the sin that you're in.. you would never entertain it. You would run from it. You would hate it. Satan never shows you the end.. he only entices you with what you can see, hear, touch & feel...

As you read this-- understand that you cannot wait for your feelings to agree with the decision to live for God. You have to do what you know is RIGHT and your feelings with CATCH up. So, pick up the phone and shut it down, cut it off-- do what you have to do. You cannot afford to live a life outside of Christ ANYMORE. Read my blog on "How to Spend time with God"-- start there. Find a local church that preaches the word of God, pure and uncut. Obey God quickly with what He tells you to do. You seriously HAVE to start SOMEONE. Start right NOW. When you make a decision to live for Christ, HE will HELP you and MEET you right there.

I am praying for you & agreeing with YOU.

If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

You can find my new book here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com called "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts."

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Help me to Forgive"

Ever been hurt by someone that you really love? This isn't some type of "drive-by" hurt as you're driving and someone beeps their horn at you & gives you a middle finger. But this is someone you have cultivated and developed a relationship with & they HURT you. I mean really hurt you. To the point.. where it completely questioned your relationship with them. So.. what do you do when you get wrecked like this? I mean, you love Jesus. You go to church. You try to live for Him. You said that you forgave that person. But the thought of them still makes you roll your eyes. You don't know how to let go of the pain even though you verbally forgave them. They cheated on you. They abused you. They talked about you. They stole from you. They left you. They ruined your trust. They really messed up. They really broke your heart. Do they KNOW how bad they hurt you? Do they KNOW the pain they have caused in your heart? You felt like you were a good friend, wife, husband, or whatever else and you don't feel like you deserve that treatment.

I have experienced that pain. Some of you have gone through some really deep rooted pain that I will never understand. I could never totally understand your shoes because I didn't have to walk in them. Although I had my own share of hurt and pain-- I do know this: as Christians, we can have a different perspective in the midst of our hurt. Remember, you are NOT like this world. Your standard comes from the Lord so your RESPONSE to the hurt must be different. This doesn't mean that you have to run and be best friends with the girl that stole your boyfriend or the woman that crossed you the wrong way because God can reveal certain things in people as a warning to you. What do I mean by warning? As I mentioned before.. everyone cannot be your friend. Some relationships are seasonal and you cannot afford to bring people that are unqualified into the next season of your life. Does this mean you hate them? No! Does this mean that you should try to open a door in that relationship because it's the "right" thing? No! It means that you should be God-led in who you surround yourself with but be QUICK to forgive them. And let me throw this in there.. just because you miss a person.. doesn't mean that they are supposed to be in your LIFE. We must constantly check our emotions to make sure that they are in LINE with where God is taking us.

I'm telling you that you can forgive whoever hurt you. You can seriously from the bottom of your heart let it go. How? Because Christ forgave YOU. That may sound like a cliche but how is it that we are so humbled and broken before God over our own sins against Him and we want immediate freedom from whatever.. but the second somebody wrongs us; we hold onto that hurt. "They need to PAY for what they did, right?" What if Christ made you pay for the way you treat Him? You would never rest as you carried around a burden of guilt. And most of you carry that burden around. You don't think that Christ really forgave YOU so you aren't really forgiving anybody else. When you refuse to forgive other people, it's like you are drinking poison, praying for someone else to die. That poison is getting into your blood stream and it's eating you alive from the inside out. And all the while.. you think that you are charging someone else for the way they hurt you-- but not only did they hurt you, but now they're living rent-free in your head. And most likely, that person isn't even THINKING about you or what happen. They have moved on and are going about their life and bitterness is eating you away. You see them on facebook and they're so happy.. and seeing their life. Seeing them makes you even more bitter.

How is it that you believe in forgiveness for yourself but refuse to give it to anybody else? How is it that you hold yourself to a higher standard as if forgiveness only applies to you and nobody else? How is that we want Christ more but we hate our sister or brother in Christ? How can we move on in our "ministries, callings, purpose" or whatever else if we are carrying all of this BAGGAGE?? Sis & bro.. GOD wants your HEART. So before you run & try to start a ministry you need to run & sit at the feet of Jesus and let Him HEAL your broken heart.( Psalm 147:3)

Jesus said we are to forgive others “seventy times seven” in response to Peter’s question, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" (Matthew 18:21-22). To fully understand what Jesus was saying, we must look at the context of the whole chapter, for Jesus was speaking not only about forgiving one another, but about Christian character, both in and out of the church. If you read that chapter, Peter, wishing to appear especially forgiving and "righteous" asked Jesus if forgiveness was to be offered seven times. The Jewish rabbis at the time taught that forgiving someone more than three times was unnecessary so Jesus had to clear it up! (referring to Amos 1:3-13 where God forgave Israel’s enemies three times, then punished them) By offering forgiveness more than double that of the Old Testament example, Peter most likely expected extra praise from the Lord as he appeared to be forgiving & loving. When Jesus responded that forgiveness should be offered four hundred and ninety times, which was WAY beyond that which Peter was proposing, it must have SHOCKED the disciples who were listening. Although they had been with Jesus for some time, they were still thinking in the limited terms of the law, rather than in the unlimited terms of grace. I believe that most of us are still stuck in the terms of the law. Saying, I'm going to forgive you this many times and after that-- that's IT! After that, I will NEVER forgive you. Can you do a heartcheck to see if there's anyone in your life that you've intentionally refused to forgive? Are you waiting for someone to "earn" your grace?

By saying we are to forgive those who sin against us seventy times seven, Jesus was not limiting forgiveness to 490 times-- He was saying there IS no number to how many times we can forgive. We as Christians with forgiving hearts not only do not limit the number of times WE forgive; we must continue to forgive with as much grace the thousandth time as they do the first time. WE are only capable of this type of forgiving spirit because the Spirit of God lives within us, and it is He who provides the ABILITY to offer forgiveness over and over, just as God forgives us over and over. So  it's NO longer in YOUR ability to forgive whoever hurt you! It's in CHRIST'S ABILITY. The Holy Spirit will HELP you!  You have to stop trying to forgive everyone in your flesh. It just won't work. You may be reading this and think that it's impossible to forgive someone. You're RIGHT. In your own way of thinking.. it IS. But through Christ, you can truly let it GO.

Let's check out a few scenarios! 

1. Some of you may have been betrayed by a a spouse or a friend. What do you do? How do you forgive and trust your spouse again after the hurt?
Answer: You should learn to have amnesia in your marriage or friendships that are God-ordained. This doesn't mean you throw everything under the rug and never address everything.. it just means that EVERYTHING doesn't need to be addressed every 5 minutes you are offended. Maybe it's not them.. maybe it's you. Do you give God a chance to check you OR are you too busy popping off at the mouth? God can & WILL heal your marriage. You must adjust your mindset. You cannot just quit everytime it gets hard. You will get hurt. You will have rough days. But if you get through those tests then things will get better, you'll grow closer and it will get EASIER.

In the cases of cheating, your goal should be reconciliation. Both sides need to come together, repent, get counseling and get focused on Christ again. If your husband continually cheats on you even after the several attempts of reconciliation, he has abandoned the marriage. He has forced a divorce. I don't recommend staying a marriage a marriage with continued adultery or constant physical abuse. You STILL have to forgive him, but it doesn't mean that you HAVE to stay married to the man as he cheats on you or beats you.

2. I forgave that person.. BUT I still don't have good feelings towards them. What do I do?
 Answer: Forgive by faith. Some of ya'll need to by faith.. forgive someone and then just ask God to help you think good thoughts towards them. Pray for them every time their name pops up or if you see them. Whisper under your breath that.. "God, I pray for so & so- that they may know you and your power. May they walk in your ways and obey you in everything they do." You won't be bitter towards them long because God will really change YOUR heart.

3. My boyfriend did something to really hurt me. What do I do, do I stay?
Answer: Let's be clear- if he cheated on you or something-- I don't recommend sticking around because a ring won't change his mindset. You're obligated in a marriage to AT least attempt to make it work. In a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship you are getting an opportunity to check a person's "get down" out aka fruit of the spirit. Again, we must always be God-led in our relationships but if your man is always lying.. and it's always SOMETHING.. and he's always trying to sleep with you.. and its.. this or that-- a "rang" aint gonna change him sister. You'll be checking behind him for the rest of your LIFE. Now, this is not "formula." All of your relationships should be God-led as I said before.

4. My parents hurt me. How do I get through the pain when I have to see them or a family member?
Answer: I totally understand! Whew! I know how that can be! I have been in a situation where I was hurt by a family member and first I took it to the Lord and asked the Lord to help me to forgive them. I forgave them by faith and I reached out to them to talk the situation out. I didn't feel like we were ever on the same page concerning this situation. I still felt hurt in my heart about the situation but I was determined not to give up on the person. I continued to call them, just to check up on them and prayed earnestly that God would soften and change their heart hearts to Him. Now, it's like nothing ever happened. It's pretty amazing. Not only have I forgiven them, but now we're moving forward and growing in our relationship. I knew that it was a relationship in my family that I couldn't just CUT off. I knew they were supposed to be in my life. There was no question.

There are some situations where you have to pull away from family members & stand up to them. In this situation, I felt like I had to stand up for what had happened. My standards and values come from Christ alone and no other place.

Regardless of your situation, remember this:  

Ephesians 4:32
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  


Just a few fun reminders!

1. The sold-out Pinky Promise Conference is this week! ;-) Please keep us in your prayers as we are planning the final details and the ladies are coming in town! :)

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 10,000 ladies that have joined! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com 

4. To purchase cross rings, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store

God loves you like crazy!

Heather Lindsey

(One of our maternity photos!) :-)

My New Book!! "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts"

Ahh! I'm so excited!! I just finished my very first book! It's called "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts." The Lord placed it on my heart to write this book YEARS ago but I didn't fully start writing it until December of 2011! Here's a snippet of what the book is about:

An invitation for every woman who’s ever felt like she isn’t good enough, pretty enough, saved enough, content enough or doing enough.

Like millions of women, Heather Lindsey wanted to have it all together. But as life continued to go on, she found herself searching to fill her insecurities with temporary voids and ended up broken, rejected, exhausted and frustrated. Desperate to let God change her from the inside out—she shares her story, struggles and triumphs as she went from having Pink Lips & an Empty Heart to having Pink Lips and a Heart that is completely surrendered to God.

In a society where women are encouraged to portray a certain self-image, Heather challenges women in saying that it is not enough to just get dressed up and portray a “perfect appearance” when deep down, you’re empty. As a result, we try hide who we really are from everyone, including God.

Join Heather Lindsey as she offers witty, fresh advice that you would expect from your best friend over dinner. Compassionate and practical, Pink Lips & An Empty Heart is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:

• Be content whether they are single or married
• How to develop a deep, intimate relationship with Christ
• Resist the desire to compare your life to others
• Prioritize their day to day life busy schedule
• Develop in the gifts that God placed inside of you
• BONUS: Practical tips on hair, beauty and other money saving resources

I'm working on a 90 day devotional, a mommy/maternity book packed with recipes & tips on staying fit while pregnant and another book-- in which I will share after I finish the other two! ;-) You can find the book here: www.PinkLipAndEmptyHearts.com

 God loves you like crazy,

 Heather Lindsey (My maternity shoot from this past week! 8 Months Pregnant!)

Where is my Ring??!

So, everybody around you is getting engaged! Every day you log onto facebook you find that YET another person is engaged! Although you're happy for them, deep down-- you're thinking umm.. ANOTHER PERSON?! UGH! WHEN IS MY TIME?!??! You go to church, pray, spend time with God, you're living right but HOW is it that all of your unsaved co-workers are now engaged.. or all your friends are engaged, married.. having kids but you find yourself.. still single. 

I just want to encourage you today sis. I have felt how you've felt and I have been where you've been. First and foremost, you have got to stop comparing your life to another person. You've heard this before but I'm going to remind you that you're a Christian. You have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you. Do you know what that means to all of heaven??! You've been adopted, set apart, pulled aside, HIDDEN and PROTECTED under the care of CHRIST. Do you think He's going to just let you run off any marry some of anybody??! Anybody can get a ring honey. You can walk outside and pick a random up off the street and make him marry you. Proverbs 24:1 says: Be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them. So.. that should clear up being jealous of a bunch of random unsaved people that are getting engaged. They don't belong to Christ which means that CHRIST has no say-so in their relationships! The WORST feeling in the world is for you to walk down the aisle to a man that you KNOW God didn't tell you to marry! Yes, God is always speaking. He's always with you. Are you listening? And this isn't the time to run and preach to them that they shouldn't be getting married if they aren't saved. Bashing them over the head with the bible once engaged won't make them run to Christ. Just smile, hug them and say congratulations while you pray for their salvation.

Each season in your life will develop to the next one. If you're worrying non-stop about getting married, you'll finally get married and then you'll worry about kids. "Everybody is having kids and you don't have any kids." Then, you'll finally get pregnant and then you'll compare yourself to all of the other pregnant women and worry about your entire pregnancy. Then, kids will finally come and then you will compare your kids to everybody else's child. Do you see how destructive this cycle is??! And remember, we're Christians. Jesus is so clear to us when He tells us.. 

Philippians 4:6-7
6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

So.. are you allowing His peace to guard your mind during this season of your life? Or are you on a mad search to "finds you a man?" I want to encourage you to get off of your dating sites as you "SEEK" a spouse and get on your face before God & "SEEK" Him. Don't let being single make you bitter sis. GET UP!  You shouldn't be in that waiting room waiting for him! Single life is NOT a waiting room for MARRIAGE. Marriage is ministry and if you were lazy with your walk with God while single when you get married, you'll get smacked in the face by the EFFORT that it takes to make a marriage GOOD & last. We wait for cars, we wait at the doctors, we wait for the train, we wait for appointments. And when the mechanic, our ride, the doctor or the train is LATE.. we get frustrated! We look at our watch & we're like come ON!! If you don't know what train you're supposed to get on, you'll hop on any train that comes because you're TIRED of waiting. Some of us have been on the wrong train for awhile and we need to get off of it because it's PUSHING us further and further away from our destination. Some of us have been "dating" men that we WISH would marry us but we know deep down that that fool has zero standards and no relationship with God. He won't spend time with God, he won't pray, he would rather play with your body then study the bible, he is CLEARLY not husband material but you would rather in that moment forgo being SINGLE than to have to deal with being lonely again.

God was MUCH more concerned about my purpose than changing my last name. He knew that He needed to pair me with someone who was individually pursing Christ the same way that I was pursing Him. I believe that if it was the will of God for my life, I would have waited even longer before I met Cornelius BUT God KNEW that we would come together & get BUSY about the Kingdom of God. He knew our hearts. He knew we wanted to please Him. He knew that our #1 concern in pursing His name. We were individually pursing Christ alone. The fork finally met & we knew within 15 minutes of meeting on January 3, 2009 that we were getting married one day.

Sis, I want to encourage you to get back to the place of worship and begin to trust God wholeheartedly.  As a NOW wife I SEE how much work goes into a marriage and I'm telling you that you want homeboy to have the basics. You're going to want your one-day marriage to glorify God and then when you DO have kids.. you're going to want your HUSBAND to lead your household as a Christian leader. You may not see how important it is because your clock is "ticking" but I want to remind you that Sarah got pregnant at 99. If you don't know who Sarah is-- read Genesis.

 So remove the words "I'm waiting for my man" from your vocabulary and replace them with "I TRUST GOD'S TIMING concerning EVERY AREA." We must become desperate for Christ and stop being desperate for a relationship.

You didn't get a ring this engagement season because it's not your TIME. YOUR ADAM has yet to awake (click on the link for the blog about it) and you cannot let those around you that are getting married DISTRACT you. On Christmas day 2008, I spent it alone with my family as a single woman. I met my now husband 9 days later. He proposed 12 months later.. on Christmas day 2009. You never know how God can turn things around! First step: Be content wherever He has you right now! Trust that if that DOOR was supposed to be opened, HE would have opened it.

(1 minute after Cornelius proposed!)

So what do you do in the interim?

1. Guard your heart: If Facebook is ruffling your feathers, maybe you need to pull away from it for a little while so you can focus. Stop watching stupid shows on TV that include sex, adultery, fantasies, or whatever else. Don't you realize those things can OPEN a door into your heart?

2. Be happy for others: If you aren't happy with yourself, you won't be able to be happy with others. So sit before God & be honest. You can tell Him that you're jealous & bitter and TIRED of being single. Ask Him to HELP you to want to WANT to be ok with being single.

3. Ask Him to show you the joys of being single. Get prepared to get tested.. but don't worry, the tests will make you stronger & mature you. Remember that you're SUPPOSED to be doing something during this season. What is God trying to accomplish & get you to DEVELOP in? Is He having a hard time because you're ignoring Him & focused on .. this world?

4. Find a local church & get involved! Surround yourself with like-minded Christian women! If you aren't in a Pinky Promise group, there's about 300 groups all over the world! These groups are SISTERHOODS. Period. We encourage each other-- build each other up. Work on studies every month and really keep each other accountable. www.pinkypromisemovement.com

5. SPEND TIME WITH GOD! Honey, when you're on your face before God-- you don't have time to be worry about what is on sister susie's ring hand finger! You're BUSY about PURSING God and you're TIRED at the end of the day. You won't have time to be jealous of anybody.

Stay focused & encouraged sis!

And before I go.. I'm BEYOND excited to announce that my FIRST book is being released next Friday, January 4th!!!! This book is for the woman that is completely dressed up and broken inside. It's for the woman that feels like.. she isn't doing enough, saved enough or whatever-enough. It's truly the all-in-one book for the woman after God's own heart! It will be available via Kindle, Amazon & my own personal site! To pair with the book, "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts" I'm coming out with my OWN lipstick line with 3 shades of PINK! I will share those details later AND the link to purchase the book when I have it!

Here's a few things I will discuss: 

• Find contentment whether they are single or married

• Develop a deep, intimate relationship with Christ

• Eliminate the desire to play the comparing game

• Prioritize their busy, day-to-day schedules

• Develop and grow into the gifts that God has placed inside of them

• BONUS: Practical tips about hair and beauty, as well as other money saving tips and resources

And speaking of rings.. I have a Pinky Promise Sterling Silver ring that you can wear on your left ring hand finger that serves as a reminder that you're married to Christ (Isaiah 54:5). So wear IT or another ring as a reminder until your one-day husband replaces it with your engagement ring. You can find it at the Pinky Promise Store! www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com. I've always said if you want a ring so bad, buy one & get over the hype. :)

AND Check out my new website that has my calendar and other fun updates about the new church we're starting in Atlanta, GA! :) www.heatherllindsey.com! 

God LOVES you like CRAZY,

Heather Lindsey

It was worth the trust.

The night of the engagement!

The "Private" Woman

I am in the middle of the final edits of my book but I had to take a break from it and share an area that has been heavy on my heart with my sisters.  As women, we carry so much hurt, pain, rejection and so many other things from our past that we begin to subconsciously charge every other woman that has hurt us in our future. We also charge our husbands, boyfriends and whoever else for the exes. But specifically today, I want to ask you a question.. are you HIDING what God called you to do?

God has birthed a huge ministry in so many of you women but because of your hurt, you’re afraid to open up, to try anything or to step out and do what He called you to do because you’re “private.” It’s ok to keep some things to yourself but I can guarantee that some of you ladies.. have some really encouraging, powerful stories that God LONGS to use! Some of you are so resourceful and are naturally skilled at things like interior design, fashion, cooking, organizing, business and so many other areas! WHAT DO YOU have in your hands? What gifts and talents has God placed in your heart to share with others but you’re keeping your tips, ideas, vision and whatever for yourself? So, it’s all about you and yours right? 

Sis, it’s time to be free. Free to let God use ALL of who you are! Granted, you’re going to meet some not-so-good people out there but we live in a fallen world, so it will happen! You cannot let those FEW people discourage you from DOING all that GOD called YOU TO DO! Can you imagine if I never started Pinky Promise because I “didn’t want anybody to know my business or my past?”  I am not concerned about my past but I'm focused on the FUTURE that God has planned for me! My past has been WASHED away! I have NO shame from what has happen to be because I believe that God uses whatever HAS happen for His glory now because I'm determined to live for Him. How do I know that?

2 Corinthians 5:17 
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Psalm 85:2
You forgave the iniquity of your people; You, covered all their sin.

Romans 8:1
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

So it’s clear, that IN CHRIST, we are NEW creations!! With NEW gifts, talents and so many things INSIDE of us!! I challenge you to WAKE up the SLEEPING woman inside of you! Do you KNOW how many women would benefit from your wisdom, ideas, talents and gifts?! If you could ONLY see your potential. You’re so private that you keep all of your gifts hidden and push everyone away because you think they’re out to get you. If you would just let your guard down and tap into who you are in Christ you would find that God placed a beautiful ministry on the inside of you. Don’t you know that when you harden your heart against people, you ALSO harden your heart against CHRIST. Now, I’m not saying that you should just hang out with some of anybody that gossips, talks crazy and refuses to live for Christ. What I AM saying is you have to stop giving every new person you meet the side-eye as you hold your gifts and talents inside of you for “your eyes only.” EVERYBODY IS NOT OUT TO GET YOU. You have got to let go of that idea and be open to the doors that God opens in your life through friendships.

I don't want you to read this blog and then run and start a ministry. I want you to read this blog and then sit at the feet of Jesus and give Him your hurts and cares. The issue is-- we hear things like this and then we run out crippled from our past and then after the high wears off, we begin to slowly start charge new women for the old women that hurt us.. again. You need a true conversion from the inside out. You need to truly give this area to God & LEAVE it there. Then, be intentional in all of your relationships about allowing God to change you from the inside out. So REMEMBER this when you meet new people.. grace them, pray for them, ask God to show you their hearts and REST. Stop looking into everything; assuming that whoever is going to hurt you. As far as your gifts and talents,  start wherever you are-- use social media to share your FAVORITE tips & advice concerning your gifted areas! Start a blog on an area you're SUPER passionate about! You NEVER know how God could use what He places on your heart! Start a Youtube video on how to apply makeup and include how vital it is to be beautiful from the INSIDE out first with Christ! Start a cooking youtube channel and teach ladies HOW to cook! 

How can we continue to ask God to "show us our purpose & ministry" if we refuse to even open up about where we came from and what God has done in our life? Why do you want to start your "ministry?" Why do you want a PLATFORM? So you can pat yourself on the back? Why do you want to be successful in whatever you do? Is God at the forefront of your mind? STOP seeking your "purpose" and start seeking Him. Then, take each day-- day by day. When you place God first... He will show you, "do this, then do that. Go here, then go there." Let's be clear, God places people on top of a platform that could CARE LESS. They care about pleasing Him and not people. If you're so tied up and worried about your past; you'll be controlled by people and not Him. 

Transparency is priceless. It shows others that.. you know.. you aren't perfect but God will take your many imperfections and make you whole. It gives people hope that God can change the "worst" of them. It shows people that you don't have to be perfect in order to come to Christ. It shows people that God can turn your mess into a masterpiece. It shows people that God has not FORGOTTEN about those that seem forgotten.

Stop HIDING. It's time to come out sis. USE what God placed INSIDE of you! 

Fun reminders:

My book is coming out in a few weeks! I cannot WAIT!! More details to follow!

Don't forget if you order any two items from Pinky Promise, you get a cross ring for free! Use the code: CROSSRING via www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com! :)

Have you joined Pinky Promise? It's an AMAZING sisterhood with over 8,000 women that are totally in love with Christ. Pretty amazing. www.pinkypromisemovement.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey 

Baby Boy Lindsey's Shower

Wow! We've been super busy with moving, planning the Pinky Promise Conference, finishing the editing portions of my book AND preparing to launch our church in Atlanta, GA next month! I wanted to pop in and share pictures from our beautiful shower yesterday! We're so excited an thankful to be parents! Being married for two and a half years has really given us a chance to get to know each other and prepare to welcome someone else into our family. We take being a parent very seriously and we're THRILLED for what this journey will bring!

We aren't sharing Baby Boy Lindsey's name until AFTER his birth, but don't worry-- I'll post a few pictures of his photoshoot! :) We played some cool games; the guys had a to blow up a ballon and then try to bend down and put their shoes on, we had to change a babies diaper with our hand behind our back and "How well do you know Heather & Cornelius" a few more games-- opening presents and so much more! It was pretty awesome!

The colors of my shower were yellow, black and white! 

Checking out the 7 month belly with Sabrina! :) 

My very best friend, Delan! :) 

My sweet Wynter! :)

My VERY best friends of 12 years! :)

    Me & my best friend, Noey--  2 weeks apart! :)

The AMAZING baby shower planning committee! I love these ladies!! 

Opening Presents!

Thanks for sharing in our celebration of Baby Boy Lindsey! We are looking forward to the Pinky Promise Conference Baby Shower & then.. 1.5 months later, we will meet him! :)  

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!

www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets, promise rings, & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store! 

www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you picked up my husband's book? "So, You Want To Be Married?"

www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com  

Coming Soon in January 2013

My First book! :) 

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey