Tampilkan postingan dengan label Settling. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Settling. Tampilkan semua postingan

Rabu, 14 September 2011

"I Met Me a Man!!!!"

Giiiiiiirl! Guess what!! I met me a man girl.. it’s about TIME! I’ve been praying, believing, receiving, giving and I FINALLY met him!
Wow! Well.. Is he saved?
Hmm.. Yes, girl he saved
Well, what kinda saved is he? Is he a carnal, I’ll have sex with you all night and then repent, we take communion when we wake up saved or does he live for God for real?!
Ok, WHY you being all deep it’s our first date, I am not gonna ask him all those questions about his faith. I don’t even know if I like him like that.
Well, babygirl—if you are afraid to ask him, you are afraid of the truth. The truth is, you are lonely, your biological clock is ticking and you are ready to settle down. Well, if you wanna “settle” down you sure are settling. For less than God’s best. Or maybe you think you can change him? You gonna bring him to the Lord huh? If God can’t change that man, I don’t know what makes you think you can. The same way it took you a long time to get it right, and trust God—that man needs to develop and all your NAGGING is gonna push him away from God.

2 Corinthians 6:14 says “Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion does light have with darkness?

And don’t try to be all deep, saying.. he says he’s a Christian cuz he goes to church. Just because you sit in a garage, doesn’t mean you are a car. He could even attend your church and ya’ll are on TWO different spiritual levels. Just because he got saved last week, don’t mean it took. Homie needs some time to renew his mind. A Christian man will display the FRUIT of being Christlike. He will live for God and he will love you like Christ loves the church. He won’t DARE dishonor you by screwing you or playing with you all night. And yes, I’m talking about sex a lot on my notes, cuz negros in church are getting’ it in, sleeping in the same bed and they aren’t married and they think it’s OK. Why even tempt yourself?! Ya'll may not be doin' anything "yet".. but keep planting those seeds, it'll come.

Ok. Take this, you wake up every morning and spend time with God, go to church, spend time with your other godly friends. It’s your usual routine.
You meet Raphael and two weeks later and you begin to spend ALL of your time with him-- he stays the night and it’s sooooo hard to pull away from him as he is cuddling you in the morning. You’d rather cuddle just a few more minutes then pray like you used to. You rationalize.. I’ll pray tomorrow morning or on your way to work. You and your friends don’t talk anymore because they can tell something isn’t right about homie and you don’t wanna face the facts.
I say all this to say, dating Raphael is CLEARLY weakening your commitment, integrity, standards and more than everything, your relationship with God. Wanna know why? Genesis 3:16 says that your desire will be for your husband & he shall rule over you.” So guess what.. your DESIRE is to serve him and if homie isn’t submitting to G-O-D then you’ll be submitting to the flesh portion of him, who’s lord is Satan.

God is a jealous God. Don’t you walk down that aisle with that sickening feeling in your heart, knowing that somethin’ just aint right. Being equally yoked with your mate is BEAUTIFUL and it’s possible. As a (wo)man thinks within HER heart, so is SHE. You can have God’s best and it starts with you thinking you can have it and getting rid of ANYBODY or ANYTHING that is distracting you.

Who TOLD you that you met your "Soul Mate?!"

SOO.. you have butterflies, he's so gorgeous, he sends you the sweetest messages, he's EVERYTHING you've ever wanted, He's your soulmate!!

Ok, well, whoever told you that- LIED to you. Your soul is your mind, will and emotions. And whether you believe it or not, these three areas need to be developed. It's how you think, it's how you feel and how your past experiences play into who you are today. So if you really think, some man off the street can come in and make you feel fuzzy and warm forever and take away all of that pain from your soul?! Girl, please. That takes work. And with the WRONG man, he won't be equipped to recognize what you really need.

So, then-- after 6 months and you have a couple arguments, he constantly tries to screw you and succeeds often, you repent and find that you keep compromising with this fool then, you can't stop because lasciviousness (inability to stop) has creeped in-- ya'll break up and everyone asks why? You say, because he' did this and that.. but you in all honestly, Neither YOU or HOMEBOY had standards to shut your flesh down and submit to God's word.. So you didn't see it was WORTH developing with that person, so you let them go on their way. Did you know when you have sex with a person before marriage you are ROBBING that man from growing emotionally (you too!)? No wonder' ya'll fightin' all the time. And it's not just sex for those of you ladies who wanna do everything but sex. It's all the same. Don't turn on that physical button with that man, because you'll desire to do SO much more. Set boundaries. Serve God with your body. And if that man keeps tryin' he don't love you. He lusts you. Love yourself enough to get out.

Luke 14:28 says "For which of you ladies, intend to build a tower (relationship) sitteth not down first and count the COST of it, to see if you got enough in you to finish it?!

And guess what, you didn't count the cost of it, or check out your motive for wantin' that man (impatience, you gettin' old, you lonely, everyone's getting married) and now you got hurt again. So.. that means you have have another foundation laid of hurt to go on top of the last guy and the 5 others before him. Didn't you know that if you keep laying that foundation you will NEVER be free?! You are laying your foundation on "Sand" and not ROCK (Matthew 7:25). So the wind and storms came and knocked your little foundation down. It'll keep knocking it down until you go get you some rock and start rebuilding.

When you do meet the RIGHT one, he'll challenge your tail, it won't be easy because he'll be a mirror to you constantly "plucking" (thanks Cornelius for the use of that word! :)) out different areas of your life that you need to work on. I sure wouldn't say that it's all that pretty but the fruit of it is EVERLASTING and beautiful. Slow down and BUILD your house of standards so some fool can't come and tear your house down and have you all messed up.

"YOU are wayyy to picky, thats why you are Single."

 Friend: “Girl, you are wayyy to picky—that’s why you are single.” Ever had a friend like that? You may want to reconsider the closeness of that friendship. #1 a friend speaks into your life and builds you up where you are, not reminds of you your marital status. Do you know that Satan will use a weakness in your friend to cause doubt & unbelief in your life?! He will use whoever he can get that is close to you. So guard your relationships.

Don’t believe the lie that you are supposed to settle for some man or woman that is below your standards. I actually believed that lie as soon as I got saved. I looked around and I felt like I wasn’t attracted to most of the guys in the church. The brotha’s outside the church was more of my “heart’s desires”—their swagger, their fun lifestyles, money & friends. They weren’t all deep to me. But Heather.. In Psalms 37:4, the Bible says, "Delight thyself also in the LORD, and he shall give you the desires of your heart." That is true. God will give you HIS desires because as you delight yourself IN Him, Your desires poisoned by SIN are removed & replaced with God's desires. So please don’t use this scripture as an answered prayer for your sorta-saved boyfriend. Let’s just be honest, you are lonely & tired of being alone. Your clock could be ticking in your mind so you would rather marry than to deal with the emotions of loneliness. Or you want some sex and you don’t want to wait until you are married for it. You can repent right? I can tell you that evidence of your salvation is not you quoting some sinners prayer. Evidence of your salvation is the fruit that GOD changed you. Even Satan & all of his demons can quote some words.  I know you believe God concerning trusting Him & not using your body for fornication by evidence of takin’ your tail home & telling that person NO that wants to sit & play with your body that has NO plans to marry you.  

I believed the lie that I wouldn’t be attracted to my one day mate until  I saw a brotha (I never saw the man again, so he was just used for that day lol) that I was attracted to in church & God told me .. see Heather! You will be attracted to your one-day mate. He will measure up to your standards. What were my standards? I had like 30 written out until God challenged me and told me to make sure I am all those things on that list. (dang. Lol) So I threw my little stupid list away and realized that no man is perfect according to my list. My one day mate would have to develop into alot of those things on my little piece of paper. Instead of focusing on my list, I got focused on my relationship with Christ because I knew that I would DRAW whatever I was.  I developed a super cool, intimate  relationship with Him. We went on dates, we shopped together, we talked about EVERYTHING! I treated getting to know God like a new boyfriend. You know..you text all day, call each other…it’s like a fast forward of getting to know one another. I took all that energy and became obsessed with Jesus. It was beautiful.  And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It comes in handy as a now-wife :). The same Jesus teaches me how to be submitted to my husband because I really didn’t have an example. Practicing the above made Jesus my life. Not just a part of my Sunday morning.

A REAL man/woman has standards of his/her own that will build off of yours. YES, they are out there. NO you don’t have to settle!! I am currently LIVING on the other side of a NOT settling after I thought I had to for YEARS. You are simply beautiful & wonderfully made by the Author & Creator of TIME. Don’t you know that He will bring a mate to you at the right TIME?! You’ll have kids at the right TIME. So don’t you dare settle for one more second with a person you KNOW aint right for you. Get out of that relationship, get whole & then you will be ROOM for your real spouse. Satan is trying to get you all messed up by focusing on this worlds man-made calendar. So rest & learn God. Let Him change you. The difference between you & God is—God doesn’t think He is you. So don’t try to be Him.