"The Perfect Woman"

Ever found yourself trying to fit into some image of this woman you want to be? You have examples all around you of your idea of what you think is a "perfect" woman. So, you attempt to do all of these things like cook, clean, start a business God didn't tell you to start, work crazy hours at a job you have no peace about just to find value, go to school (knowing good & well God never told you to go), charge up your credit cards, get your hair done, work out or whatever else... and you put all this pressure on yourself to be this "woman." Guess what?

She doesn't exist. 

Let me encourage you sis-- putting all this pressure on yourself to be some person that God didn't call you to be will only distract and clutter your heart. Then, you won't even be able to hear God's voice because you're so busy trying to be an image instead of accepting that you're MADE in His image. Do I think EFFORT is a good thing to do your hair, work out, etc-- of course- but it's WRONG when those things are before God. How can those above things replace God? When you've made them idols and you've stopped seeking Christ & now you're seeking degrees, money, a man or whatever else. Did you know that people are in hell for love? They loved the wrong things and people and replaced GOD with those things they loved. They loved money. They loved power. They loved being "popular." They loved keeping a man in their bed. They loved porn. They loved to drink. They love to smoke. They loved rebellion. I ask you sis, what do you love? What are you "loving" as you try to achieve your idea of being a "perfect woman?" What is in your heart? WHO are you when nobody else is looking? Underneath the makeup, smile, and body... who are you all alone? Ask God to wreck & change your heart. And CONTINUE to ask Him to do this because this walk with God is not a sprint but a DAILY journey of living for Him.

 Being perfect is impossible because we live in a fallen world. Trying to be perfect is going to stress you out because you're trying to achieve something that only Christ did. I always say, "I ain't perfect but I'm connected to the One who is & His strength is perfected in my weakness."
I want to encourage you to take all of who you are and lay it at the feet of Jesus. Take your hurts, pains, issues, lipstick, handbags, image, job, boyfriend, your marriage and whatever else and lay it at the Father's feet. Is He pleased with it all? Or have you replaced those "things" with Him? We cannot afford to switch all hard around here in direct disobedience to God. It just isn't WORTH it. 

While trying to be the perfect woman, you may find yourself sweeping your past hurts underneath the rug. As you sweep them under the rug and throw a smile on your face-- you've fooled everyone but what you don't realize is that that hurt is seeping out onto your face in the form of stress. It's seeping out in your words. It's seeping out in your relationships. You begin to charge everyone for what your past did to you. You must LET GO of whoever hurt you. You must stop trying to carry this mantle when Christ died so you could finally rest in HIM. 

Matthew 11:29 ESV 

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Exodus 33:14 ESV 

And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.

It's amazing to me that as we read throughout the bible-- we find that Jesus is pleading for us to rest in  Him. Then, we go and get this 5 year plan that we put together in our wicked heart that Christ had NOTHING to do with and slap it on the wall & throw a few scriptures on it and call it God. When did we get so busy? When did we replace His precious Spirit with the "make it happen independent attitude?!" Some of us are pursuing goals and dreams and we have gotten all dressed up and Jesus is our accessory.  We sure look good in our disobedience. But our heart is a wreck & it's so far from Christ. I fear God. I fear standing before Him one day & He say this: "On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity"- Matthew 7:22-23. That scripture scares me.  I don't want to ever think that I've figured life out. I don't want to ever long for this world more than I long for Christ. I don't ever want to get so caught up in myself that I do all these "Jesus" things but my heart is so far from Christ.  I'm "busy" about just doing things that look good but Christ didn't tell me to do any of them. Just thinking of this HUMBLES me daily. You may think-- it doesn't take all this Heather-- you're too hard on yourself. No, I reverence and fear God. It DOES take all of that because you have the world that is pumping it's ways into your head 24-7 and if you aren't sitting before the Father-- at His feet, you can easily get caught up in this world. So, where is your heart... "perfect woman?" You cannot take your red bottoms, weave, cooking and job to heaven. Let's start seeking the One we cannot see & develop in the fruit of the Spirit (love, peace, joy, patience, self control.)

How do you do this?

Ask God to help you daily. Be content with your today. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Ask Him to help you to recognize when you're being tested so you can pass the test. Ask God to show you where you're wasting your time in life. Join a church or a Pinky Promise group for accountability. Stop beating yourself down from your past sin & turn from it and repent. PRIORITIZE- God first, then your husband, children, then ministry & your job. The bible calls a "perfect" or "ideal" woman one with CHARACTER & doesn't even mention her beauty (according to Proverbs 31.) Win people over with your QUIET & GENTLE spirit-- not your looks. (1 Peter 3:4) In Jeremiah 1:5 it says that our lives our pre-planned & organized so clearly-- there's a PATH laid out for you. Are you seeking Christ as HE leads you or are you leading YOURSELF & asking God to join you?

Few things:

1. So sorry that I haven't been blogging! Part of the joys of being a new mommy! Thanks for your patience as I balance life! ;-)

2. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

3. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 13,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store. JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey 

(Newborn shoot! Logan is 4 weeks here!)

"Why I Became A Vegetarian"

People ask me almost every single day "WHY are you a vegetarian?"-- and then they share their desire but struggle to eat less meat. This blog isn't an attempt to convert your meat eating ways, but since you decided to check it out.. I can share with you how I eat and live.
Just a little background, I haven't always been a vegetarian. I grew up eating meat here & there but for the most part, I didn't eat meat on a regular basis. My mother was a vegetarian so we didn't include meat in our daily life, however my dad ate meat so we would always have it on the holidays and here & there. As I got older and into my teen years, I would eat fast food (I used to throw down on big mac's in high school ha!) and whatever else I could get my hands on. In short, I ate TERRIBLE. I continued to eat terrible throughout college and when I moved to New York after graduation. After being in New York for 3 years, I decided to cut out white foods, dairy, sugar, soda, meat, fried foods, fast food and any sweets for an entire month. Shockingly, I lost 15-20 pounds in that ONE month! I was so surprised! I couldn't believe how those things caused so much weight gain. So- from that point forward, I started eating healthier again. I still ate meat but I just became very picky about my choices. I would only eat grass-fed organic beef and chicken and instead of farm raised salmon, I would opt for wild salmon so I started to slowly transition to the other side..

                                                        This is me right after the month diet in 2006!

I continued to eat meat for a few more years and everything changed in 2010. I tried the raw food diet. I think that many people are afraid to try the raw food diet or the vegetarian lifestyle because they don't know how or where to get their nutrients. It's vital that if you want to switch over, you have to have a plan. You have to create meals ahead of time or you'll end up just plain hungry & you will give up. In starting the raw food diet, I went online and pulled a ton of different recipes, went to my local Fresh Market & a Vegan Co-Op & I purchased everything on my list. I then when home and started trying different recipes. I was shocked to find out that raw vegan food was actually good! Sticking to the raw food diet after the month is possible but for me and my schedule, it wasn't realistic. I had started traveling more and preaching and I found that almost all restaurants cooked their food in butter so that immediately eliminated almost 99% of the foods I would be able to eat on the road. During that time, I still had the mindset that I would eat meat after the raw food diet.. so I tried to eat a piece of steak with some veggies. What a mistake! I FELT the meat working really hard to digest in my body! I was literally PRAYING that the food would quickly digest.  I was tired, sluggish & I had no energy! From that day forward, I decided that I would never meat eat again (or, in a fun way of looking at it: Anything that had a mama or a family).

Through my research of eating better-- Vegetarians have been reported to have lower body mass indices than non-vegetarians, as well as lower rates of death from ischemic heart disease, lower blood cholesterol levels, lower blood pressure, and lower rates of hypertension, type 2 diabetes, and prostate and colon cancer. Not only that, Vegetarians age less quicker because our bodies don't use as many enzymes to digest our plant-based foods. Which means that our bodies will have to do LESS work-- which means that after we eat-- we won't be sluggish & tired! Think about Thanksgiving dinner, after you eat EVERYTHING... you have to go lay down because you're so tired! That's your body working EXTRA hard to digest all of the food you just ate.

I know that in order to do what God called me to do, I need energy. Not only energy but I want to look great doing it-- and I'm not saying that LOOKS are everything by any means because I think your spiritual development is what is most important. However, there's something about getting all dressed up and feeling healthy, working out and feeling good about yourself. It reflects in your confidence and attitude. Eating terrible makes you PHYSICALLY feel bad. Think about a super unhealthy meal like Pizza-- how did you feel after you ate it? Nobody ever says "that was a good idea." What you eat also says something about the discipline you have in your life. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit and we have to make sure that as we bow our heads to "ask God to bless our food & thank Him for it" that the food is really going fuel us as we accomplish the will of God for our life OR are we stuffing our faces with fried foods as we ask God to use the food to "nourish" our bodies?

 Just look at your skin-- your skin is a direct reflection of what you're eating. When I switched from being a meat eater to a vegetarian, I broke out for about 6 months! I was shocked! Through research I found that my body was cleansing itself from all of the toxins that I had been eating from the past 20 years! Yuck! And it was all showing up on my face!! So, be sure to pick up a great concealer ladies! It's worth it though, after those 6 months, my skin was back to normal! So what did I do during that time? I tried different products but I ended up going with Murad from Sephora. You can help move the process along faster by going to getting a colonic. Do your research and make sure the place knows what they're doing!

So, what are the basic steps I think you should take to become a Vegetarian if you would like to be one? Here's a few tips. 

1. Get a Vitamix. It's like the Bentley of Blenders. It's helpful because alot of the food you will make WILL be from scratch and you need a powerful blender. You can pick one up via QVC and pay in payments, go to Costco & find it for $379 or purchase it directly from Vitamix. If you cannot afford a great blender, its ok. I didn't start off with this blender--I started off with a basic blender & worked with what I could until my husband gave me the ok to get the Vitamix. (He had a hard time with the concept of a blender costing that much & he wanted to know that I would actually use it!).

2. Get a Food Processor. This will help you big time with mixing your foods, like veggie burgers, etc. You can find one at Bed Bath & Beyond (don't forget to use your 20% coupon!) or Target.

3. Google. Google is free, right? GOOGLE recipes! Look up the Raw Food Diet, Plant Based diets or Vegetarian recipes online. Get creative! Try out some new stuff!

4. Get a juicer. I have a Belleville juicer. It costs about $150 but I REALLY want an Omega Juicer. I'm still trying to convince my husband that it's a great purchase-- as it's the same price as the Vitamix. Nonetheless, the Belleville does the trick and there is a TON of leftover pulp but it doesn't go to waste!
Save your pulp & blend it in your smoothie or bake some muffins with it!

5. READ some books on it! I like the 80/10/10 book by Dr. Douglas Graham and The Beauty Detox Solution by Kimberly Synder. Both Raw Food Diet books but they will get you STARTED and provide meal plans. Also, watch "Forks Over Knives" via netflix! It's INTENSE!

6. Water. Water. Water.  YOU have got to start drinking water. Juicing and blending is also great-- and honestly, throw out processed-store bought juice and make your own. That juice is packed with sugars! So, up your water intake and definitely stick to juicing/blending. I SWEAR by Essentia- Alkaline water. Best tasting water out there and it actually cleans out your system! I get mine from Whole Foods & as of late-- Amazon.com

7. Pass the test. You will get tested when you go out to eat with friends. EVERY restaurant has a veggie option. I know it may be tough-- and I've even ate at Steakhouses & just opted for 4 side dishes as they didn't have an option for me. Eating meat again is non-negotiable.

8. Ask God to take away the desire for meat & to help you to be creative. Who told you that you're in this battle against your flesh alone? God will and CAN help you. You're never alone. Even Christ was tempted with bread when he had fasted for 40 days. He's been tempted WITH food & He will give you a way OUT if you're struggling in this area. ("No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."- 1 Corinthians 10:13)

9. Don't get overwhelmed! You can ease into being a vegetarian by being a Pescetarian. Cut out everything but fish & then ease into it!

10. Don't listen to what everybody else has to say. When I became pregnant, everybody & their daddy was telling me that I needed to eat this & that in order to have a healthy baby-- including meat. I birthed a 10 pound 1 oz baby of pure muscle from this plant-based diet. Totally worth it. Do your OWN research & figure out what your body needs. You're going to have to put some energy into this to LEARN. It's WORTH it though and it will soon become like second nature. 

As you can see, I've built up to being a vegetarian. I just didn't go cold turkey one day and I continue to learn and research new ideas and meals! And please note that I didn't have a blender, food processor, etc to start-- I just started & worked with what I had at that time. These tools are helpful to make yummy foods so get them at some point if you can. 

 I want to share with you all a couple of my favorite recipes! 

Also, I'm a vegetarian, not a vegan. However, I do seek to eliminate dairy (like eggs) as much as possible. 

1. When I first went vegetarian-- I missed my gravy. This recipe is Vegan Sweet Potato Biscuit and Vegan Apple Sausage Gravy After trying a ton of different recipes, I found this one to be the BEST and the base of the dish is Cashew Cream. Which is simply raw cashews placed in cold water overnight and then drained, and blended in your blender with cold water (enough water to cover the cashews + 1 inch).

Sweet Potato Biscuits and Apple Sausage Gravy
Makes 16-18 biscuits

Sweet Potato Biscuits

4 cups all purpose flour
2 Tbs baking powder
2 tsp salt
1 cup vegan buttery spread/margarine, cut into 4 pieces
1 cup cooked and mashed sweet potato (or canned)
1 1/2 cup cashew cream (thick)
1 Tbs apple cider vinegar (optional)
Buttery Spread/Margarine for brushing

Apple Sausage Gravy

1 apple, cored and finely chopped
1/2 package GimmeLean Vegan Sausage, crumbled
4 Tbs vegan buttery spread/margarine
2 Tbs flour
1 cup cashew cream
1 tsp garlic powder
salt to taste
Fresh parsley to garnish

(To make vegan buttermilk, we need to curdle a non dairy cream. This is why I have apple cider vinegar as optional. If you do not have the vinegar, use thicker cashew cream.)

Preheat oven to 425. Lightly grease a baking sheet.

Add vinegar to cashew cream and stir. Let sit for a few minutes to curdle and make “buttermilk”.

Combine all dry ingredients for the biscuits in a large bowl. Cut in buttery spread with pastry blender or pulse in a food processor until mixture is crumbly.

Add mashed sweet potato to “buttermilk” and then add this wet mixture to the dry one. Stir until just combined. DO NOT OVERMIX.

Knead dough on a floured surface a few times and then pat with your hands to a 1/2 inch thickness.

Use a round cookie cutter to get your biscuits ready to bake. Put biscuits on your baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes. Brush margarine over top before serving.

While biscuits are baking, make your gravy. Start by pan-searing your diced apple in 1 tablespoon of buttery spread on medium-high until it is soft and begins to lightly brown. Remove and set aside. In the same pan, add sausage crumbles and cook until crisp. Set aside with apples.

In a saucepan on medium, add buttery spread and melt. Add flour and whisk to make a roux. Cook for one minute, and add your cashew cream. Lower heat to med-low and whisk until gravy has thickened. Add garlic, salt, and majority of sausage and apple, reserving some pieces of each to use for garnish.

Top biscuits with gravy and then a few pieces of apple and sausage. Sprinkle parsley and share with your family!

****A note on Cashew Cream: I use cashew cream in all of my savory recipes because it’s simply better than other non-dairy milks. The fat ratios are similar to dairy cream/milk, and it’s easy to control the thickness of the cashew cream by using your own high-powered blender. Especially when it comes to white gravies, please don’t use almond/rice/soy milk! Cashew cream has helped me convert many dairy-lovers. If you do not own a Vitamix/Blendtec/etc, you can still use cashew cream by soaking raw cashews for a few hours before use.****

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 Here's another favorite! I made this veggie burger tonight and it was by FAR the best tasting veggie burger I've ever had (with the exception of a veggie burger I had at a spa in Scottsdale, AZ). I couldn't believe that I MADE it! It was so flavorful! Granted, you're going to spend a long time making it AND gathering everything, but it's really worth it!

1 cup dry TVP (textured vegetable protein) I like "Gimmie Lean Beef Style Vegan Protein"
3/4 cup hot water
1 cup grated zucchini (from about 1 medium zucchini)
1 teaspoon kosher salt
4 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 cup minced yellow onion (from about 1/2 medium onion)
1 medium garlic clove, minced
3/4 cup grated carrot (from about 1 carrot)
1/3 cup peeled, shredded red beet (from about 1/2 large beet)
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sunflower seeds
2 teaspoons tomato paste
2 teaspoons ground mustard, such as Colman’s
1 1/2 cups cooked short-grain brown rice (about 3/4 cup dry)
2/3 cup cooked brown lentils (about 1/4 cup dry)
2 tablespoons minced Italian parsley leaves
1 tablespoon dried thyme
1 cup coarse whole-wheat panko, such as Ian’s
3/4 cup sliced cremini mushrooms
1 large egg
1 large egg white
3 tablespoons tamari or soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
7 whole-wheat buns or kaiser rolls, for serving
INSTRUCTIONS
In a medium bowl, combine the TVP and water. Stir and set aside until ready to use.
Toss the zucchini with 1/2 teaspoon of the salt and place in a colander or strainer set over a bowl to drain, at least 10 minutes. Squeeze the zucchini to release any excess water, then set aside, discarding the liquid.
Heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil in a small frying pan over medium heat. When it shimmers, add the onion and garlic and cook until the vegetables are soft and translucent, about 5 to 6 minutes.
In a large mixing bowl, combine 1 cup of the soaked TVP mixture, the zucchini, carrot, beet, 1/4 cup of the sunflower seeds, the tomato paste, ground mustard, 3/4 cup of the brown rice, 1/4 cup of the lentils, the parsley, thyme, and 1/2 cup of the panko. Add the sautéed onion and garlic and mix well; set aside.
Heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil in the same frying pan over medium-high heat. Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally, until tender and nicely browned, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat.
Transfer the mushrooms to the bowl of a food processor; add the egg, egg white, tamari, pepper, and remaining salt, TVP, sunflower seeds, brown rice, lentils, and panko. Process until the mixture is well combined and uniform, about 30 to 45 seconds. (The mixture will not be smooth.)
Add the puréed mushroom mixture to the reserved TVP mixture and combine well (using your hands works best). Form into 7 patties (about 3/4 cup each) and place on a baking sheet. Heat the remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil in a large nonstick frying pan over medium-high heat. Add 3 patties to the pan and brown on one side, about 6 to 7 minutes; flip and continue cooking until the burgers are crispy and heated through, about 5 to 6 minutes more. Repeat with the remaining patties and serve on whole-wheat buns or kaiser rolls with your favorite toppings.

This is just a couple of my favorites! I also love my Green Smoothie that I drink daily and my Butternut Squash mac & cheese! 

Couple easy switches:
1. Lawry's salt to Himalayan Salt
2. Vegetable Oil to Unrefined Coconut Oil
3. Regular butter to Vegan Butter
4. Regular Milk to Almond or Rice Milk
5. Vitamin Water to your own flavored fresh water (ie. cucumbers, basil, watermelon water or lemon water- just place these items in your water for easy flavorings)
6. White rice to Quinoa
7. Fried foods to grilled foods
8. Eat a salad before each meal to help fill you up!
9. Don't miscombine foods. Meaning, don't eat meat with starches (pasta, bread, etc)-- it takes too long for your body to digest it. So if you're going to eat meat, eat it will veggies. If you're going to eat pasta, eat it will veggies.
10. Regular cheese with Nutritional Yeast or Draiya Vegan Cheese

Other quick go-to-meals
1. Coconut rice & plantains with veggies. Just cook brown rice in coconut milk and vanilla almond milk until soft. Set aside. Cut plantains and veggies and sautee-- serve and drizzling honey & celtic salt.

2. Avocado & Tomato Sandwich. Vegan butter on both sides of wheat bread with a little bit of honey. Avocado & tomato inside and place on panini presser for 2 minutes

3. Sweet Potato & Black Bean Burrito Wrap. Cook Sweet potato's by boiling them for 20 minutes. Soak black beans overnight in cold water, cook next day. Mix them together & put them in whole wheat wrap. Season and roll the wraps and place them in the stove at 350 for 15 minutes or until cooked. Drizzle salsa on top & serve!

Pray that this helps you in your journey! Love you all!

Few reminders: 
1. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 12,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com 

4. To purchase cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store. JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: LOGAN. -- (how fitting!)

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

This is me just 2 weeks after giving birth! I charge it to working out & eating healthy pre-pregnancy and during my pregnancy! 

"When I No Longer Desire God"

Ever felt like.. you knew that you were supposed to spend time with God, read your bible, pray & do all these "things" and you had the right intentions in doing so.. but as you went about your day, it didn't happen. You thought about it. You felt conviction. You felt God's spirit tugging on you; but you never sat down & just experienced His presence. Then, as the day went to a close and you sat down to watch your favorite show, you said- "It's ok, God loves me and I'll just do better tomorrow." This cycle continues for weeks and it turns into months. You begin to see yourself change from a sweet and patient person to a irritated and impatient woman. You start to gossip a little more, watch a few more shows that you wouldn't usually watch, listen to a little Beyonce (and please, let's stop defending her like she's God. The bible says a tree is identified by their FRUIT.), curse a little there-- you know, your standards begin to adjust. Your guards have been dropped and you are calling yourself a Christian but you cannot figure out why you're miserable. Guess what?

You no longer desire God. 

You see, you desire the music, the shows, the TV, the little boyfriend rubbing on your thigh, the silly unhealthy friendships, the lying, the gossip. You desire those things. You may say that you don't desire them but the way you prioritize your day shows me what is important to you. It shows me where you place your value. It shows me what you're thinking about it. It shows me and .. let's replace "me" with "God" where your HEART is.. you think it's in Him but it's not. Just because you have good intentions doesn't mean anything until you start taking those good intentions & doing something different.

Let's look at it like this: You're married and throughout the day, you talk to your husband, text him, make plans for the future, go on date nights- you are very intentional about developing and desiring Him. You WANT your husband because you continue to water & nourish that tree. Why is it that we enter into a relationship with Christ & we don't talk to Him, don't spend time with Him, aren't intentional but then we wonder why we don't desire a "deeper" relationship with Him?  What also begins to happen is even if your ignorance, the Holy Spirit begins to tug at you to REMIND you to spend time with God and show you your empty voids. You will either adjust and make time for God or, you'll go & seek things to fulfill that void in your heart. You may go have sex, text some guy you know is a hot mess, go back into your past because it appeared more comfortable (it lied), go shopping (you know) and seek fulfillment in something to cover up that hole.

I can save you time, energy, heartache & hurt by reminding you that you'll never be satisfied until you get back to that place of being intentional & seeking Christ daily. You can run to try to find you another "mentor", preacher or whoever else to make you feel better about yourself and spoon-fed you OR you can start to woman-up and be the woman that God called you to be and go get on your FACE before God. It's time out for this foolishness sisters!! We have GOT to do better. How can we continue to exchange God's magnificent presence for the presence of some man that doesn't care about you or some job that you're not even supposed to be at? We have GOT to get back to this place of sitting at the feet of JESUS. It's great that you have your accountability sisters and that you remind each other to spend time with God but let's get to a place where we don't have to be reminded anymore. What if I had to remind you to spend time with your husband? Most likely 1. Your husband would get upset that he wasn't a priority 2. And wonder why the heck do you have to be reminded by another woman to spend time with him. Why is it that we get saved & have to constantly be reminded to spend time with God as if it's a burden? You don't have to be constantly reminded to spend time with someone you LOVE & is FIRST. The answer to the clear question is: You no longer desire God. And let me be clear, there's nothing wrong with accountability but at some point, we must move from "have to spend time with God" to "I get to spend time with God."

I just gave birth to our son, Logan William Lindsey on 3/13/13 (praise God! ;-) And I learned VERY quickly that the sleepless nights & "sleeping" when he is sleeping is crucial. I also found that even in these past few days, I hadn't been spending as much time as I used to spend with God even just days ago. It convicted me. I said.. Lord, I am spending time with the one that is most important to me. Don't ever let me make an idol of my son, even in my lack of sleep & exhaustion. God, help me to want you more than anything or anyone else.

So, what has come into your life and replaced God? I could have very well made my son an idol by giving him my attention 24-7 and made an excuse about my son being a newborn or whatever else. I cannot afford to make that choice, no matter how "sleepy" I am. Reminds me of Matthew 10:37 "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." This is referring to family but we could very well replace father or mother with job, money, a boyfriend, a husband or whatever else. I'm sure Matthew used this reference because these people are usually the ones closest to you. It is BECAUSE of my SON I NEED to spend time with God. It's BECAUSE of my job I NEED to spend time with God. You see, I cannot properly FUNCTION in these roles as a wife, mother, business owner, friend or whatever else if life isn't in PROPER order with CHRIST first. 

Hebrews 5:12 says it nicely: "In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!" -- You're going to church, been saved for a bit, joined a Pinky Promise group-- it's TIME TO GROW! Just "doing" these things doesn't mean anything. The question is: When the rubber meets the road & you have a choice to choose GOD vs. something else.. what do you choose?

God pressed it heavy on my heart that people also don't desire Him because life HURTS them and they BLAME Him. We cannot turn our hearts away from the only One that can help us. If life has hit you hard, know that God is close to those that have a broken heart (psalms 34:18) & He is READY to take you back into His arms. STOP running from HIM. HE will use everything that you've been through to bring Him glory. So ask Him to break your hardened heart. Forgive whoever has hurt you. Stop looking at your hurt & start looking at CHRIST.

In short, when you don't desire God.. it's because He is no longer the object of your affection. Want to desire God? Get back to the heart of worship. Get back to that place where you craved Him when you first got saved. Get back to that place of worship. Get RID of anything or anyone that is hindering you. THEN, stay there. Renew your mind. Turn off garbage. Ask God to wreck you daily. This walk isn't a 100 meter sprint.. it's a marathon, so if you expect microwave results, you won't find them in Christianity. You must stay in that place of worship and trusting God no matter what is going on in your life. Let's all make a commitment to get back to this place of worship, starting now.

Few reminders: 
1. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 11,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com 

4. To purchase cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: LOGAN. -- (how fitting!)

P.S. If you've asked me questions on here-- know that I'm not ignoring you! I get THOUSANDS of emails & questions and it's super hard to get to each one. Thanks for your patience during this busy time!


Love you all madly,
Heather Lindsey

"Sloppy Words"

As I near the end of my pregnancy (39 weeks) I have found that just because you're pregnant, people don't tell you their beautiful pregnancy and labor stories-- they tell you the most horrific, crazy experiences that they went through and their mama went through. It's almost like you have a sign on your head at the grocery store that says: "I want to hear your worst experiences." As with anything in life, you MUST guard your heart against what people SAY. Why are we walking around just "signing for everybody's sorry packages" about our LIFE? The bible gives us FULL instructions on HOW to LIVE regarding being single, married, raising children, dealing with family members, working on your job & EVERYTHING else. Why do we RUN to all these other sources and ignore the MAIN source of life? I don't know about you but I don't have time to entertain the lies of this world. So, in light of me giving birth and just reflecting on everything over the past 9 months, I want to remind you of the following:

1. Humans don't know everything. There's no formula for ANYTHING. What may work for someone else (they met their hubby at church, one person may give birth at 38 weeks vs. 40 weeks) may NOT work for you. Be VERY selective in what you allow to be planted in your heart. You may meet your God-fearing, fine husband at the mall or at the grocery store! Why would you limit the God of Israel based on what you can see? God can IMPORT a man, He can OPEN up a barren womb, He can OPEN up a position at a company JUST for YOU. Just because this can be true, it cannot be your FOCUS. Our focus is on CHRIST. You never know. Even in my own life, my husband and I were pregnant in March of 2011 and we were excited until we found out that the sac was empty at the first ultrasound. There was no child-- just a growing sac. My body rejected the sac in May 2011 and I went through a painful miscarriage of the sac. I experienced ALL the things that came with pregnancy (symptoms) but had no child to show for it. I continued to experience problems with my body for a few more months. When we got pregnant again and found out in June of 2012.. I had a choice. I could sit around and FEAR that there wouldn't be a child or understand Ecclesiastes 3:2 that says there's a "time to be born." It wasn't my TIME to get pregnant OR for my son to be born and NOW I understand it! Pinky Promise started in January 2012 & I'm confident if I would have given birth in November 2011 that I would have been TOO busy to focus on a brand new ministry which as taken up a ton of my time! I had to LEARN to trust God's timing. PERIOD. 

2. If you don't know the bible for yourself, someone will feed you their opinions. It's simple, if you don't have a standard then someone else will set it for you. You can't just let people's words & opinions push you around like the wind!! Can you compare to a piece of paper that is being tossed around by the wind.. kinda going wherever the weather pushes it? Or are you like that TREE that is planted by the rivers of water that brings forth fruit in it's season and its leaf doesn't wither and whatever it does -- does well? (Psalm 1:3). So STUDY the bible DAILY. Look up scriptures on things that you struggle with-- don't just walk around blind to what the bible says, accepting what everyone tells you!

3. Fear. For example, if you're believing God for a husband, pregnancy, salvation for your husband, a change in your child or whatever the case, you must hold on to what you believe to be true. It's because of your aunt's 4th divorced advice, you think that marriage would never work. It's because your girlfriends son who is the same age as your son.. and "this & that happened to him" so now the idea has been introduced in your heart and in the back of your mind, fear is growing and your faith is being attacked. We should listen to stories of HOPE and be encouraged that God hasn't forgotten about us! Don't let these silly distractions have you so messed up that you're believing the lie more than you're believing God's truth!

4. Stop watching Scandal. Ok. Scandal is JUST an example and I've never watched the show. But based on what people tweet and post about.. it sounds like there's some adultery & sex scenes. So as you lay down tonight, whether single or married you could 1. Wish you had someone with you that you aren't married to OR 2. You're married but now you're imagining yourself sexually with someone from your past. You may not get attacked right away but a seed was PLANTED. One day, your husband just won't be good enough, being single & just "trusting God" won't be as enticing especially since you've been waiting soooo long. You may think that I'm extreme. You may think that it doesn't "take all that." But living for Christ will cost you your LIFE. Satan is SEARCHING for an open door in your heart & you GIVE him an open door & then you DEFEND the open door. There's other silly shows out there that are filled with drama, unhealthy friendships and so much more. Guard your heart against these things. Turn off your cable. Do your part. This goes for music as well. I know you love your Beyonce but she's framing your thinking. And please, don't send me emails challenging your music- if God hasn't already convicted you-- go to Him & ask Him His thoughts on it. :) 

5. YOUR part. Ok, sis- You have a responsibility. Yes, you do. What do you spend your time doing? Do you spend 14 hours on facebook, 8 hours of your day at work or school, an hour working out and then you open up your bible for 5 minutes to read 1 scripture and think that you're approved? Do you just go to church on Sunday to get your fix.. but ignore God the rest of the week? Do you only go to God when you're heartbroken or down or do you constantly seek and PURSUE Him? What if someone only came to you when they needed something? Wouldn't you feel .. a bit used? Do you really want a relationship with God or do you want what you think He can do for you? God has a personality.. a heart. He grieves. He cares. He's jealous for YOU. You must spend time with God daily. Do your PART. Remember, we spend time with God for OUR good, not for "His good." HE IS GOD. 

As I mentioned above, I'm about to give birth! :) I am currently writing a book on how to stay fit & fabulous pregnant so I cannot wait to share it!! I am going to try to keep you all updated on Baby Boy Lindsey but grace me as I get adjusted to mommy-hood!

1. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 11,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com 

4. To purchase cross rings, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store 

P.S. If you've asked me questions on here-- know that I'm not ignoring you! I get THOUSANDS of emails & questions and it's super hard to get to each one. Thanks for your patience during this busy time!

God loves you like crazy!

Heather Lindsey

Valentines Day: Single Awareness Day?

So, February 14th has rolled around and you're single again. You may have a few quick thoughts about it.

1. Dang, I'm single again & it's another stupid holiday where I have to hear about peoples love for each other. 

2. Forget a relationship, there's no good men out there.

3. I'm content in Christ. (talking yourself into it)

4. No, really-- I'm chilling. I trust God's timing & I've TRIED to make it happen by myself & it doesn't work-- so I'm really trusting Him. (And you really mean it)

And in all honesty, you're probably thinking-- Heather cannot understand what I am going through because she's married. Honey, I've been single. I had to be single at one point in order to get married. And if I was single, you would probably say: "How can you speak on what I'm going through & you single with me- you don't have a man!" I'm writing this very blog because I understand what you're going through. I know that feeling and those thoughts that pop in your head & say "How much longer, God?" or "When is my time?" You may look around you and see a bunch of standard less men & think-- will I ever meet a guy that actually .. loves God, won't screw me, recognizes his purpose & really lives for Christ?? YES! IT IS SO POSSIBLE!!!!! The question is, are you going to have a pair of thighs in your bed tonight as you deal with your loneliness OR are you going to sit at the feet of Christ and enjoy Him?

 You cannot get so tired of being single that you settle and go out with some random man today or any other day-- "just to do something." You will go out to the restaurant and see all of these other happy couples and it will make you want what they have.  You'll compare your life to their life as you snuggle up to this man that you know is more interested in taking you home & exploring your body than setting boundaries and actually living by them. You really don't know him, but you tonight is fun to you because you can pretend that you have a real relationship. Then, after dinner-- you'll go back and forth with yourself on the ride home. Should I invite him up? Should I not? Gosh, he's fine. We're having such a good time. He makes me laugh. I don't want this night to end! So now, your emotions are leading your life. So, you'll invite him upstairs. I mean, you're not really going to do anything, right? You have this under control. So you're upstairs and you know it's wrong. Yes. You. With your arms raised in the church, serving the Lord on Sunday. You don't want to do it (so you say). But your actions prove otherwise. Your actions prove that you want what pleases your flesh. You are tired of being alone and it's much better to feel temporary pleasure than to deal with feeling lonely. So, one thing leads to the next & you end up having sex with him.

Then, the overwhelming guilt overwhelms you. WHY WHY WHY you ask yourself! WHY did I fall yet again to this same temptation?!??! WHY can't I just live for Christ? Why can't I meet anyone who will wait for me & honor my body? And WHY did his phone ring afterward at 3AM from some chick named Tiffany who cannot wait to see him again soon & do dirty things to him? And you didn't have a condom- but whatever you think. You begin to not even care about your own body. You think God hates you when He really loves you. You think that you'll never be forgiven so you don't bother repenting.

Three months later. You find out you have a STD and you're pregnant and you haven't heard from him since that day. He's changed his number and you have a baby on the way. You're about to be a single mother and this was never the plan.

If only you knew the end from the beginning. If only you knew, you would never, ever would have gone out with Him. Let's evaluate a few things. 

1. Most likely, the Holy Spirit told you NOT to go out on that date. It's like.. you got this check in your spirit. But you rationalized and ignored it. A little date won't hurt anybody. When God checks you-- HE is WARNING you. You have to listen to that gut check in your stomach.

2. Then, when the thoughts began to pop in your head & even consider having sex with the man, you should have 2 Corinthians 10:5 those thoughts by "Casting down every thought that is contrary to God's word by speaking the Word over your life." Just because you messed up and when on the date doesn't mean you continue in your sin & throw out the bible. Fight BACK. 

3. Then, we have to look at 1 Corinthians 10:13- "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." So, God is saying that I WILL GIVE YOU A WAY OUT!! Don't GIVE IN!! Even if you are in a so-called committed relationship, having sex outside of marriage will NEVER glorify God. If you want to be committed to each other- prove it & get married. Don't feed me the "we only have sex with each other lie"-- because you've made each other your gods & are using worldly reasons for not getting married. The bible tells us to flee fornication. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." (1 Corinthians 6:18)

4. Now, you have a STD & a child on the way. Don't beat yourself down, prayerfully-- you can get medicine and believe God for your healing. Hopefully it's curable. There ARE consequences for disobedience to God and although God may be forgiving and loving-- HIV, Herpes & AIDS may not be. The Lord has a plan for your child & so repent of your past sin and raise that child to learn and know Christ.

5. Bet you didn't think all of the above would happen based on a little date? I want to encourage you to be God-led in every decision that you make. Talk to the Holy Spirit. Vent and be honest-- Tell Him you want a spouse! Tell Him you want to do it His way & then start actually LIVING like it. If your one day husband did happen to walk by your home, would he see you getting out of the car & going into the house with some man super late? Are you avoiding the appearance of evil? Can God even BRING your spouse or is that seat always taken by Jimmy, Tom and Dejuan?

Some of you may think I'm too deep. Saying, it doesn't take all that Heather! Actually, it does take all that. God commands us to be holy as He is holy!! Why do we think we can belittle the holiness of God based on our limited mindset???!

Now, you have a choice. You can either be single God's way or single the worlds way. If you want to be single God's way, then today is a beautiful day because you know at the right TIME, you'll be in a relationship. It's just NOT your time yet. So you'll stay off of Facebook, Instagram or whatever else distracts you today into feeling sorry for being single. You must guard your heart at all times. You won't watch Scandal & other sex-adultry-driven shows because you're working on something and you cannot afford to plant those things in your heart. You will ENJOY this season because you know its temporary and each season in your life builds up to the next one.

Or, you can be single the worlds way. Go find you a date on Match.com, get you some sex and suffer the consequences. You may not see yourself suffering right away-- but when you're living outside God's will for your life and taking your life into your OWN hands, you will suffer. "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Proverbs 14:12. So what "seems right to you?" Does having sex outside of marriage "seem" right? Does dating randoms "seems right?" Does staying with that unsaved guy "seem" right because you're trying to get him saved? What lie have you picked up over the years and called it your truth? Just because you BELIEVED the lie in your head doesn't mean that God agrees with it. 

If you really want God's best for your life, it's going to cost you something. Stop skipping around here & living the way that you want to live.. & then wonder why life isn't working for you. Go back to your FIRST love. "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love" - Revelation 2:4 Many people will celebrate today and wish they were in your shoes if they were single. They WISH the would have slowed down, trusted God & NOT married the person they married. They had all of the warning signs but instead-- they ignored them. They liked the IMAGE of but didn't understand the work & effort that went into it. 

Today & everyday after is what you make it. I would have never met my husband if I kept me a little boyfriend on the side. How can God trust me with one of His sons if I wasn't one of His daughters? We can say we want a godly man-- but if we continue to cuss like a sailor, drop it like everything is hot, argue with everyone, sleep with everyone... we're showing who our father really is. We will attract the same kind of man based on how we act & live. Just "saying" you're a daughter doesn't make you one. How you live this life identifies WHO your father really is.

Few reminders:
My husband wrote an amazing book, "So, You Want To Be Married" & you can find it here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com. It ties in with what I wrote above & so much more.

If you need accountability, JOIN a Pinky Promise group. You can find a group in your local area-- there's over 10,000 women that have joined in the past year.  www.pinkypromisemovement.com 

You can find fabulous purity rings and bracelets that remind you of your decision to honor God here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com  And just for reading today's blog- you'll get 10% off of your order. Use the discount code LOVE

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Your Price Tag"

So, what's your price tag? Don't look at me like you don't have one. A price tag is the amount that a person will pay for YOU to get you to drop your standards. It doesn't have to be money either honey as you look down on women that strip or prostitute themselves to men. It could be comfort from loneliness, it could be a fine man, it could be a "bad boy," a man that serves in church, the desire to no longer be single because your clock is ticking, it could be the fear of losing friends so you go out & get drunk with them and you know it ain't right. It could be attention from a man that works in a certain occupation- like a pastor, athlete, lawyer or whatever else. It could be spending your entire check on a purse so when you hang around certain girls-- they will approve of you.

Who can get you to CHANGE their standards??? Who or what can do just that "one" thing that takes you from lifting your hands on Sunday morning to falling into sin??? And let's be clear honey, you didn't fall into that sin-- you walked right into it. You say you love Jesus.. and it just makes you frustrated at how you keep ended up in that bed, overspending or waking up from that hang-over. Why is it that you go from singing "I surrender all" on Sundays to "Put a ring on it" by Beyonce on Monday?

Let's be clear, NO person on this entire earth should be able to CHANGE your STANDARDS. No MAN. No WOMAN. No JOB. No NOTHING. If you aren't fully persuaded that you're strong enough to have standards in your relationships and friendships then you should pull away for a season until you're more persuaded by God than you are a human. Because what will happen is this: Your friends and your little boyfriend will determine your life. They will determine when you have sex, when you party, when you drink, when you do whatever else. All the while, you really don't wan to do these things. You KNOW it's wrong but deep down... you just don't know how to stop. You don't know how to tell anyone NO in fear of rejection. Then, you will get into a car accident and die and stand before God. He will say: Why didn't you do what I called you to do? And you will bow your head.. and say.. "But.. I didn't want to displease anyone." Christ will look at you with tears in His eyes & say.. "My daughter, you made those people, things your god. When they called, you answered. When they told you to do this, you did it. When they told you to do that- you obeyed. When I called you-- you ignored Me, rejected my instructions and with deep sorrow.. I have to say... get away from Me. I never KNEW you." (Matthew 7:23).

I sense such an urgency in the body of Christ. We are being pushed around by the wind by those we spend our time with. We have forgotten about God and replaced Him with the opinions of this silly world. We have devalued our worth and opened up our hearts to silly music and TV shows that have set our standards FOR us. It should bring great CONVICTION to you to listen to certain music. It should bring great CONVICTION to you if you hang out with certain girls. If it doesn't- I pray that you sit before the Lord and ask Him to break your heart for what breaks His heart. The danger in no longer being convicted of your lifestyle is this: Your heart has been hardened to sin & you've turned away from God. You've turned your heart from Him to the shows, the men, the job, the approval, that whatever else. You still go to church on Sunday, get your emotional fix and leave feeling approved that you did your "good" deed for the day. Then, you don't touch your bible again until you get in your car on Sunday and head to church. It is a sign that you NO long BELONG to Him because you no longer CARE. And.. you call yourself a Christian.

So.. what makes you think attending church is going to make you righteous?? Although you confess God as your Savior; your LIFE demonstrates that your heart belongs to Satan. Yes, I said it. Satan. You like his music. You like his sons. You like his places to go (clubs, strip clubs). You like his daughters. You like his hate. You like his unforgiveness. You like his homosexuality. You like his pornography. You like his clothes. You like his adultery. You like his gossip. You like his shacking up. You like his sex outside of marriage. If you really believed in your heart that Jesus was Lord you would HATE the sin you once LOVED. You would intentionally PURSUE GOD and STOP pursuing SIN!! This doesn't mean you're perfect- it just means that you refuse to pull your pants down for that random man! It just means you turn that stupid music off when you're tempted to bounce to it. You turn off the TV and sit at the feet of Christ and repent DAILY!! You're intentionally PURSING GOD DAILY!!!

Sis, I'm crying out to you. Crying out that you let go of whoever is pushing you around. Let go of the distractions. Let go of whatever is causing you to STUMBLE.  If you only knew the destination of the sin that you're in.. you would never entertain it. You would run from it. You would hate it. Satan never shows you the end.. he only entices you with what you can see, hear, touch & feel...

As you read this-- understand that you cannot wait for your feelings to agree with the decision to live for God. You have to do what you know is RIGHT and your feelings with CATCH up. So, pick up the phone and shut it down, cut it off-- do what you have to do. You cannot afford to live a life outside of Christ ANYMORE. Read my blog on "How to Spend time with God"-- start there. Find a local church that preaches the word of God, pure and uncut. Obey God quickly with what He tells you to do. You seriously HAVE to start SOMEONE. Start right NOW. When you make a decision to live for Christ, HE will HELP you and MEET you right there.

I am praying for you & agreeing with YOU.

If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

You can find my new book here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com called "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts."

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Help me to Forgive"

Ever been hurt by someone that you really love? This isn't some type of "drive-by" hurt as you're driving and someone beeps their horn at you & gives you a middle finger. But this is someone you have cultivated and developed a relationship with & they HURT you. I mean really hurt you. To the point.. where it completely questioned your relationship with them. So.. what do you do when you get wrecked like this? I mean, you love Jesus. You go to church. You try to live for Him. You said that you forgave that person. But the thought of them still makes you roll your eyes. You don't know how to let go of the pain even though you verbally forgave them. They cheated on you. They abused you. They talked about you. They stole from you. They left you. They ruined your trust. They really messed up. They really broke your heart. Do they KNOW how bad they hurt you? Do they KNOW the pain they have caused in your heart? You felt like you were a good friend, wife, husband, or whatever else and you don't feel like you deserve that treatment.

I have experienced that pain. Some of you have gone through some really deep rooted pain that I will never understand. I could never totally understand your shoes because I didn't have to walk in them. Although I had my own share of hurt and pain-- I do know this: as Christians, we can have a different perspective in the midst of our hurt. Remember, you are NOT like this world. Your standard comes from the Lord so your RESPONSE to the hurt must be different. This doesn't mean that you have to run and be best friends with the girl that stole your boyfriend or the woman that crossed you the wrong way because God can reveal certain things in people as a warning to you. What do I mean by warning? As I mentioned before.. everyone cannot be your friend. Some relationships are seasonal and you cannot afford to bring people that are unqualified into the next season of your life. Does this mean you hate them? No! Does this mean that you should try to open a door in that relationship because it's the "right" thing? No! It means that you should be God-led in who you surround yourself with but be QUICK to forgive them. And let me throw this in there.. just because you miss a person.. doesn't mean that they are supposed to be in your LIFE. We must constantly check our emotions to make sure that they are in LINE with where God is taking us.

I'm telling you that you can forgive whoever hurt you. You can seriously from the bottom of your heart let it go. How? Because Christ forgave YOU. That may sound like a cliche but how is it that we are so humbled and broken before God over our own sins against Him and we want immediate freedom from whatever.. but the second somebody wrongs us; we hold onto that hurt. "They need to PAY for what they did, right?" What if Christ made you pay for the way you treat Him? You would never rest as you carried around a burden of guilt. And most of you carry that burden around. You don't think that Christ really forgave YOU so you aren't really forgiving anybody else. When you refuse to forgive other people, it's like you are drinking poison, praying for someone else to die. That poison is getting into your blood stream and it's eating you alive from the inside out. And all the while.. you think that you are charging someone else for the way they hurt you-- but not only did they hurt you, but now they're living rent-free in your head. And most likely, that person isn't even THINKING about you or what happen. They have moved on and are going about their life and bitterness is eating you away. You see them on facebook and they're so happy.. and seeing their life. Seeing them makes you even more bitter.

How is it that you believe in forgiveness for yourself but refuse to give it to anybody else? How is it that you hold yourself to a higher standard as if forgiveness only applies to you and nobody else? How is that we want Christ more but we hate our sister or brother in Christ? How can we move on in our "ministries, callings, purpose" or whatever else if we are carrying all of this BAGGAGE?? Sis & bro.. GOD wants your HEART. So before you run & try to start a ministry you need to run & sit at the feet of Jesus and let Him HEAL your broken heart.( Psalm 147:3)

Jesus said we are to forgive others “seventy times seven” in response to Peter’s question, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" (Matthew 18:21-22). To fully understand what Jesus was saying, we must look at the context of the whole chapter, for Jesus was speaking not only about forgiving one another, but about Christian character, both in and out of the church. If you read that chapter, Peter, wishing to appear especially forgiving and "righteous" asked Jesus if forgiveness was to be offered seven times. The Jewish rabbis at the time taught that forgiving someone more than three times was unnecessary so Jesus had to clear it up! (referring to Amos 1:3-13 where God forgave Israel’s enemies three times, then punished them) By offering forgiveness more than double that of the Old Testament example, Peter most likely expected extra praise from the Lord as he appeared to be forgiving & loving. When Jesus responded that forgiveness should be offered four hundred and ninety times, which was WAY beyond that which Peter was proposing, it must have SHOCKED the disciples who were listening. Although they had been with Jesus for some time, they were still thinking in the limited terms of the law, rather than in the unlimited terms of grace. I believe that most of us are still stuck in the terms of the law. Saying, I'm going to forgive you this many times and after that-- that's IT! After that, I will NEVER forgive you. Can you do a heartcheck to see if there's anyone in your life that you've intentionally refused to forgive? Are you waiting for someone to "earn" your grace?

By saying we are to forgive those who sin against us seventy times seven, Jesus was not limiting forgiveness to 490 times-- He was saying there IS no number to how many times we can forgive. We as Christians with forgiving hearts not only do not limit the number of times WE forgive; we must continue to forgive with as much grace the thousandth time as they do the first time. WE are only capable of this type of forgiving spirit because the Spirit of God lives within us, and it is He who provides the ABILITY to offer forgiveness over and over, just as God forgives us over and over. So  it's NO longer in YOUR ability to forgive whoever hurt you! It's in CHRIST'S ABILITY. The Holy Spirit will HELP you!  You have to stop trying to forgive everyone in your flesh. It just won't work. You may be reading this and think that it's impossible to forgive someone. You're RIGHT. In your own way of thinking.. it IS. But through Christ, you can truly let it GO.

Let's check out a few scenarios! 

1. Some of you may have been betrayed by a a spouse or a friend. What do you do? How do you forgive and trust your spouse again after the hurt?
Answer: You should learn to have amnesia in your marriage or friendships that are God-ordained. This doesn't mean you throw everything under the rug and never address everything.. it just means that EVERYTHING doesn't need to be addressed every 5 minutes you are offended. Maybe it's not them.. maybe it's you. Do you give God a chance to check you OR are you too busy popping off at the mouth? God can & WILL heal your marriage. You must adjust your mindset. You cannot just quit everytime it gets hard. You will get hurt. You will have rough days. But if you get through those tests then things will get better, you'll grow closer and it will get EASIER.

In the cases of cheating, your goal should be reconciliation. Both sides need to come together, repent, get counseling and get focused on Christ again. If your husband continually cheats on you even after the several attempts of reconciliation, he has abandoned the marriage. He has forced a divorce. I don't recommend staying a marriage a marriage with continued adultery or constant physical abuse. You STILL have to forgive him, but it doesn't mean that you HAVE to stay married to the man as he cheats on you or beats you.

2. I forgave that person.. BUT I still don't have good feelings towards them. What do I do?
 Answer: Forgive by faith. Some of ya'll need to by faith.. forgive someone and then just ask God to help you think good thoughts towards them. Pray for them every time their name pops up or if you see them. Whisper under your breath that.. "God, I pray for so & so- that they may know you and your power. May they walk in your ways and obey you in everything they do." You won't be bitter towards them long because God will really change YOUR heart.

3. My boyfriend did something to really hurt me. What do I do, do I stay?
Answer: Let's be clear- if he cheated on you or something-- I don't recommend sticking around because a ring won't change his mindset. You're obligated in a marriage to AT least attempt to make it work. In a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship you are getting an opportunity to check a person's "get down" out aka fruit of the spirit. Again, we must always be God-led in our relationships but if your man is always lying.. and it's always SOMETHING.. and he's always trying to sleep with you.. and its.. this or that-- a "rang" aint gonna change him sister. You'll be checking behind him for the rest of your LIFE. Now, this is not "formula." All of your relationships should be God-led as I said before.

4. My parents hurt me. How do I get through the pain when I have to see them or a family member?
Answer: I totally understand! Whew! I know how that can be! I have been in a situation where I was hurt by a family member and first I took it to the Lord and asked the Lord to help me to forgive them. I forgave them by faith and I reached out to them to talk the situation out. I didn't feel like we were ever on the same page concerning this situation. I still felt hurt in my heart about the situation but I was determined not to give up on the person. I continued to call them, just to check up on them and prayed earnestly that God would soften and change their heart hearts to Him. Now, it's like nothing ever happened. It's pretty amazing. Not only have I forgiven them, but now we're moving forward and growing in our relationship. I knew that it was a relationship in my family that I couldn't just CUT off. I knew they were supposed to be in my life. There was no question.

There are some situations where you have to pull away from family members & stand up to them. In this situation, I felt like I had to stand up for what had happened. My standards and values come from Christ alone and no other place.

Regardless of your situation, remember this:  

Ephesians 4:32
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  


Just a few fun reminders!

1. The sold-out Pinky Promise Conference is this week! ;-) Please keep us in your prayers as we are planning the final details and the ladies are coming in town! :)

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 10,000 ladies that have joined! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com 

4. To purchase cross rings, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store

God loves you like crazy!

Heather Lindsey

(One of our maternity photos!) :-)