"Happy Birthday To My Ex"

Have you ever remembered an exes birthday? Every year when their birthday rolls around, you cannot seem to erase that day out of your mind. Although you've moved on & they have moved on-- you still roll your eyes at that day. Or, maybe every time you smell a certain scent, it takes you back to a certain season in your life where you were with someone that shouldn't have made it past hello. Or, maybe you see a guy or a girl that resembles your ex and then bitterness floods your heart. You roll your eyes and think back to "everything they did to hurt you."

You tell everyone that you're over him and deep down, you want to be but something is still holding onto a little bit of rejection. You wonder, "why didn't things work out?" "Why did he choose another girl over me?" "Was I not good enough?"

If it still stings when you think about him.. sis, it's not totally over. Not in your heart anyway. But I have good news! The good news is this: if you're tested and you find that you still have bitterness in your heart-- you can truly let it go and give it to God. I mean, really, intentionally let him go. 

I know maybe you hoped that things would work out, but it's not that you weren't good enough, it's that your very purpose and plan that was predesigned before the earth didn't include that relationship. No matter how many times you replay in your mind what you could have done differently, it wouldn't have mattered-- things happened exactly how they were supposed to happen. 

Whenever I see the bathroom door open, I run and close it as my 1 year old son, Logan going for it as well. I know if I leave the door open, he is going to go right for the toilet and he will have a field day playing in toilet water. He's also going to totally destroy the bathroom. One day, he won't even consider or think about playing in the toilet or the bathroom but as his mama, I have to close that door in his life. He just doesn't know better, but I know better for him. 

Same goes for God. He knew that you were going to play in a "toilet" of that messy relationship and to PROTECT you, He quickly ran & shut the door because He knew what was best for you. Logan typically whines and cries when I shut the door and he even attempts to open it, but I stand firm in my decision and I lovingly pull him away from the door. One day, I will let Logan open the door and go to the bathroom because I know that he won't abuse the bathroom. He will use it for what it's purposed use. Until he is mature enough, I will keep that door closed. 

So, what about you? Did God close a door and are you sitting outside of the door with your arms crossed and mad at him because He won't let you play in the toilet? How silly does that look? Sis, one day-- God will open the door to the RIGHT man. When He opens it, you will be READY. But before He opens that door, you have to let him HEAL you from all of those times you sat bitterly outside of the door-- mad at God.

God loves you so much that He is constantly going in front of you and closing the WRONG doors & OPENING the right ones. Some of us are still prying open old doors and allowing that bad way of thinking to torment us. 

Did you know that He allowed that door to be closed in your heart because you thought that you were going in the right direction but He had to show you that there was no profit? He had to show you that YOUR will wasn't lining up with HIS will. I know it was hard, I know it stung a bit, but it's time to move on.

Want to know why you cannot forget that scent, birthday or whatever else?

This is why:

Brain research shows that every conscious thought is recorded in our "internal" hard drive called the cerebral cortex. When we have the same thought again, the line of the original thought is deepened, causing a "memory trace." (ie. your past). With each continuous thought, the trace goes deeper and deeper, forming and embedding a pattern of thoughts. When an emotion is tied to that thought pattern, the memory trace grows STRONGER.

So, we get saved, break up but we still have that memory trace from our past. 2 Corinthians helps us to deal with that in vs. 10:5- "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."
So, capturing those stinkin' thoughts is going to take some EFFORT and some work on your part. Yes, he broke your heart. Yes, he choose someone else over you. Yes, he played you but either you are going to think on that, or THINK on CHRIST! You have a CHOICE! I don't know about you but as for me & my thought process, I'm choosing to think on Christ! I have been played, cheated on, lied to, verbally abused, beat up and everything else you can think of and I REFUSE to let my past push me around!!

Isaiah 43:18 tells us to "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past."- so, I'm dwelling on Jesus and I'm talkin' back to those memories that I should have never experienced.

Now that you understand what is happening.

Let Go.

It's time to burn down memory lane & stop crossing that bridge. 

In Christ, He changes our actions. So don't focus on changing your actions-- focus on HIM. When you wake up and spend time with Him-- it sets your mindset so that you won't just think any type of way. When you are thinking on Him, you don't have TIME to be thinking on whatever else. You're focused. You are a purposed woman and you don't have time for games. When you're thinking of Him, you don't have time to be depressed. When your'e thinking on Him, you aren't focused on your "clock ticking." You see the difference? Whatever you focus on, will amplify. So today, lets focus on Jesus Christ, our Lord & Savior. The end.

Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com.

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 20,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. We are hosting a Marriage Retreat in August & a Single Retreat in October & so far, both events are almost sold out! We would LOVE to meet you! Join us via www.thegonow.com under events!

8. I am headed to Birmingham, AL this Saturday and I would LOVE to meet you! Details are in my calendar above! 

Love you all dearly,

God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey