Selasa, 10 September 2013

Family Troubles?



Picture this scenario:

1. A total stranger comes up to you & says I don't like the way you did that. Your response? Maybe you'd get upset briefly but you would most likely forget about it within a few hours. 

2. Your father comes up to you & says I don't like the way you did that. Your response? You're most likely going to respond in a defensive way and get upset with him. Maybe he ALWAYS has something to say about everything you do. Maybe you feel like you cannot totally please him. Nonetheless, there's history behind your relationship so when he (or any other family member) says something to you. When they talk, it presses a button of irritation that ONLY someone really close to you can push. 

Do you see the difference? And do you really think that satan is going to use some random stranger off the street that you have ZERO history with to say a few empty words to ruffle your feathers? No, he knows that it won't distract you! Instead, he will use your FAMILY members or those closest TO you to develop and test you. 

If you've given your heart to Christ and your family either doesn't know Christ or they "say" that they're saved but don't live anything like it, they will most likely have issues with your new love for Christ. They'll say a few of the following:

1. I remember how you used to be, you ain't that saved.
2. So, I guess you think you're better than everyone because you're all holy now?
3. I've been saved for as long as you've been alive, I don't need you to tell me nothing.
4. I just don't believe that God requires that much of you
5. The bible says you gotta honor me and listen to me. (twisted scripture 101) 

Have you experienced the above? If so, I want to remind you of this scripture: 

Matthew 10:35
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.  For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—  a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ 37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

Do you see that?? Living for Christ WILL naturally separate you from those that don't believe! And God is saying here that we need to make sure that we are allowing HIS voice to trump any other person's voice, including your family members. Your family may say, I've been saved longer than you've been alive and you better obey me or honor me. But if God is tugging on your heart and saying something different, you must obey Him first. If not, then verse 37 above applies to you.

If you're reading this, you may have felt really hurt by a family member. I'm writing to tell you that you're not alone and that your worth doesn't come from even those family members that reject you but from Christ alone. Allow your family members to EXERCISE those love muscles. If you are sitting before God daily, asking Him to develop you, change you & make you into His image, you will get some attacks. The enemy seeks to use whoever he can to distract you & God ALLOWS the tests to come.

Or, you could have a family member that has totally ran away from God or refuses to start a relationship with Him. Remember this: You cannot want salvation for them more than they want it for themselves. 

So, what do you do?

1. Forgive. You have got to let it go. When a person isn't saved, you cannot expect for them to ACT saved. Even if they "say" they are a Christian-- the proof is in the pudding. If that tree has no fruit on it, then it's not a fruit tree. Recognize that they are only living according to their selfish nature. Pray for them instead of complaining about them.

2. Live by example. God placed you in your family to be the "Abraham" or the example. Are you being a living, breathing example or are you cussing everyone out one day & inviting them to bible study the next? Instead of cursing them, pray for them. Ask God to grace you with their personalities.

3. Recognize that God will find them the same way He found you. If they don't listen to God, what makes you think they will listen to you? So, rest. Stop trying to throw the bible at them every five minutes and win people over by your quiet & gentle spirit. (1 Peter 3:4)

4. Separate yourselves from them as needed. You may need to distance yourself from some family members that are negatively influencing you for a season until you're strong enough to be around them. So they're cussing everyday, drinking, smoking and whatever else. Go to a quiet place and pull away. God told Abraham to LEAVE his family & those that were FRAMING his thinking & go to a place where God would show Him. God wanted to frame his thinking.

5. Build an oasis in your home. Maybe you cannot leave your family members house for some reason. But you have to make the best of the situation. When I lived in a 1 bedroom studio in NYC with my roommate, the bathroom was the place where I had my quiet time twice a day. Yes, it was small-- but I didn't care, I needed God's presence working in the industry I worked in and I needed His help. So, create an alter somewhere & put your earphones in, turn worship music on & get on your face before God.

Remember this:
There is a reason that you were placed in your particular family. Whether your upbringing and current situation is good or bad, it's for a reason. So, find the beauty in the reason. Stop wishing that you were in another family and start thanking God for your portion. And remember, a new test will come in regards to your family. Pass it and more than anything, ask the Holy Spirit to lead, guide & direct you. He knows best.

Just a few things:

1.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

3. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out!www.pinkypromiseconference.com

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 15,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

6. I will be in Orange, NJ next weekend! If you're in the area-- I would love to meet you! My calendar is here: www.heatherllindsey.com 


God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey



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