Social Media: Highlight Reels vs. Reality- The Danger of Comparing

Let me just give you the real deal on social media. Like ALL "media" in general, you are SHOWN what the owner would like for you to see. Nobody's life is perfect, even if it appears to be. You have great days, bad days, sad days, lonely days, frustrating days, hormonal days and every other kinda day. You SHOW people what you want them to see based on the brand that you're portraying to everyone else.  You're shown happy, exciting, awesome things. I mean, this is your highlight reel and you want people to have the best perception of you, right? You wouldn't dare post a picture of you crying or arguing with your husband. To bring it even closer to home, you wouldn't post a picture of yourself that wasn't up to your standards. You will take 10 + pictures until you get the right one, then edit it with a million filters-- all to upload the perfect photo. Then, people begin to form an image of you in their head. If you stay at the club with drinking and dancing pictures-- you're probably thrown in a category of a not-so-serious about life woman that likes to party. One that most likely isn't interested in a relationship with Jesus. (And let's all be honest, you ain't soul winnin' at no club sista. God tells us to pursue Him, not environments that encourage sin.)

If you love to cook, people will start to follow you because you always have yummy looking food! If you really love Jesus you may post a ton of encouraging things on your page. And don't get mad at someone who is disrespectful on your social media page towards you and your profile picture is you in a swimsuit. Save those goodies for your one-day-husband. Anyone can google your name and find that picture and now, the entire world can you see you in your bra & panties. They can save those pictures and use them against you, including a future employer. So, scroll through your pictures: What is your brand saying? What are your words saying? Are you cursing everyone out one minute and quoting scriptures the next?

Back to the subject: 
Know this.

In the midst of people posting, they're dealing with every-day real life issues. It's almost like we forget that people are IMPERFECT. WE all have things that God is working out in our life so how dare you get jealous and envious of a person's highlight reel?? They're showing you what they want you to see! And even in knowing that everybody has an issue, you shouldn't rejoice in that. Rejoice in YOUR portion and be thankful for what God has given you. Unfollow anyone that causes you to stumble in this area. If you're following certain "celebrities" or whoever else that are causing you to become jealous or envious of their life, common sense tells us to unfollow them & keep it moving.

Proverbs 4:23

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."

What you don't realize is this: browsing along their pictures and page and comparing their life to your life is planting a seed of discontentment. You may not see the fruit from the seed but I assure you, it's coming and it will aid in "determining the course of your life." You'll go throughout your day, run here-- run there and maybe a week or two-- or even a month later, you will start wondering, "God, when is it my time? or God, when will you provide this or that for me, or God-- I'm NOT happy" or whatever else! Don't you see what is happening!?? You're being SET-UP by satan and you keep taking the bait!  You run onto your ex's page to see his new "so called-happy-life" with his new girlfriend and you allow jealousy to overwhelm you! Then you start to question why the relationship ended-- knowing GOOD and well it was a relationship door  that God Himself closed for you. You start to wonder, "why did that person reject you? Why didn't he want the be with you." While you're wondering, the Holy Spirit is screaming-- "ARE YOU SERIOUS?? That person had NOTHING to do with your future and matter of fact, I never told you to get into that relationship. There was no profit from the beginning and now you are wondering why they rejected you? They were NEVER equipped to be with you from the beginning!" Not only that, you start to wish you could reach out to them but the only thing that really restrains you is the fact that you have a ring on your left ring hand finger. You're married, but still haven't gotten over that ex.

We must diligently guard our hearts from anyone or anything that could possible cause us to stumble. The reality is this: We all go through tests and trails. We all have good & bad days. We all need a Savior. We all can choose to be positive in the mist of negativity. We all can be transparent in saying life isn't perfect but knowing Christ gives us perceptive.

You may say, "ok Heather-- I hear you, but my struggle isn't being jealous of unbelievers, but Christians. How do I deal with that?"

Well, here you go:

1 Corinthians 12:12- 26 

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[e] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. (in other words- this is Heather talking'-- what God is telling me to do, doesn't seem as exciting as someone else so I won't do it.) And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 

How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen,  while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other.  If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

Please re-read that last sentence. If one part suffers, all parts suffer. If ONE part suffers, ALL parts suffer. So if you're over there as the leg and mad and won't move because you're the foot-- then the LEG cannot do it's part! We are a part of the BODY of Christ and each of our functions has a PURPOSE. Now, the body of Christ is walkin' around here crippled because people are refusing to do their part! You may not be the arm, but who cares, you're something and God wants to USE you!! STOP trying to be a finger when God called you to be a arm. 

Let's be clear, the WILL of God on this earth will be completed whether you do it or not. God will raise up somebody else to do it but you don't want to stand before God and say, "umm.. I didn't do what you called me to do because I was jealous that I couldn't preach." Really??? God gives you grace to be YOU. Not another. 

So, I challenge you-- stop focusing on everybody's highlight real and start finding the beauty in your OWN life. The good, bad & ugly-- laying it ALL at the feet of the Father. 

Just a few things:

1. I am opening up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think modest, fashionable, affordable clothes for women! Opening day of the boutique: October 15th via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! Find our app by Oct. 7th for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindseys

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 15,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

7. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

Family Troubles?

Picture this scenario:

1. A total stranger comes up to you & says I don't like the way you did that. Your response? Maybe you'd get upset briefly but you would most likely forget about it within a few hours. 

2. Your father comes up to you & says I don't like the way you did that. Your response? You're most likely going to respond in a defensive way and get upset with him. Maybe he ALWAYS has something to say about everything you do. Maybe you feel like you cannot totally please him. Nonetheless, there's history behind your relationship so when he (or any other family member) says something to you. When they talk, it presses a button of irritation that ONLY someone really close to you can push. 

Do you see the difference? And do you really think that satan is going to use some random stranger off the street that you have ZERO history with to say a few empty words to ruffle your feathers? No, he knows that it won't distract you! Instead, he will use your FAMILY members or those closest TO you to develop and test you. 

If you've given your heart to Christ and your family either doesn't know Christ or they "say" that they're saved but don't live anything like it, they will most likely have issues with your new love for Christ. They'll say a few of the following:

1. I remember how you used to be, you ain't that saved.

2. So, I guess you think you're better than everyone because you're all holy now?

3. I've been saved for as long as you've been alive, I don't need you to tell me nothing.

4. I just don't believe that God requires that much of you

5. The bible says you gotta honor me and listen to me. (twisted scripture 101) 

Have you experienced the above? If so, I want to remind you of this scripture: 

Matthew 10:35

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.  For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,

a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—  a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ 37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

Do you see that?? Living for Christ WILL naturally separate you from those that don't believe! And God is saying here that we need to make sure that we are allowing HIS voice to trump any other person's voice, including your family members. Your family may say, I've been saved longer than you've been alive and you better obey me or honor me. But if God is tugging on your heart and saying something different, you must obey Him first. If not, then verse 37 above applies to you.

If you're reading this, you may have felt really hurt by a family member. I'm writing to tell you that you're not alone and that your worth doesn't come from even those family members that reject you but from Christ alone. Allow your family members to EXERCISE those love muscles. If you are sitting before God daily, asking Him to develop you, change you & make you into His image, you will get some attacks. The enemy seeks to use whoever he can to distract you & God ALLOWS the tests to come.

Or, you could have a family member that has totally ran away from God or refuses to start a relationship with Him. Remember this: You cannot want salvation for them more than they want it for themselves. 

So, what do you do?

1. Forgive. You have got to let it go. When a person isn't saved, you cannot expect for them to ACT saved. Even if they "say" they are a Christian-- the proof is in the pudding. If that tree has no fruit on it, then it's not a fruit tree. Recognize that they are only living according to their selfish nature. Pray for them instead of complaining about them.

2. Live by example. God placed you in your family to be the "Abraham" or the example. Are you being a living, breathing example or are you cussing everyone out one day & inviting them to bible study the next? Instead of cursing them, pray for them. Ask God to grace you with their personalities.

3. Recognize that God will find them the same way He found you. If they don't listen to God, what makes you think they will listen to you? So, rest. Stop trying to throw the bible at them every five minutes and win people over by your quiet & gentle spirit. (1 Peter 3:4)

4. Separate yourselves from them as needed. You may need to distance yourself from some family members that are negatively influencing you for a season until you're strong enough to be around them. So they're cussing everyday, drinking, smoking and whatever else. Go to a quiet place and pull away. God told Abraham to LEAVE his family & those that were FRAMING his thinking & go to a place where God would show Him. God wanted to frame his thinking.

5. Build an oasis in your home. Maybe you cannot leave your family members house for some reason. But you have to make the best of the situation. When I lived in a 1 bedroom studio in NYC with my roommate, the bathroom was the place where I had my quiet time twice a day. Yes, it was small-- but I didn't care, I needed God's presence working in the industry I worked in and I needed His help. So, create an alter somewhere & put your earphones in, turn worship music on & get on your face before God.

Remember this:
There is a reason that you were placed in your particular family. Whether your upbringing and current situation is good or bad, it's for a reason. So, find the beauty in the reason. Stop wishing that you were in another family and start thanking God for your portion. And remember, a new test will come in regards to your family. Pass it and more than anything, ask the Holy Spirit to lead, guide & direct you. He knows best.

Just a few things:

1.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

3. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out!www.pinkypromiseconference.com

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 15,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

6. I will be in Orange, NJ next weekend! If you're in the area-- I would love to meet you! My calendar is here: www.heatherllindsey.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

The TRUTH about "You can't judge me"

Whenever I talk about homosexuality being a sin, politics, sex outside of marriage and secular music-- people get fired up! I mean, they get plain MAD at me! HOW DARE YOU HEATHER! How DARE you JUDGE them. If I post that God wants your heart-- you say AMEN! But if I challenge your music, you say- "don't judge me. Sadly, we are a church that is constantly being divided against itself (amos 3:3) and we cannot stand because we rationalize certain areas of our life that we aren't quite ready to let go of. To be totally honest with you, I didn't judge you. The bible judged you & it judged you as wrong.  It is God alone that placed those standards in the bible and as humans, we aren't to argue them, but to obey them. The bible is so clear on certain areas of our life but then we refuse to read it and let our feelings lead our life. We compare & contrast sin & say.. "I can't judge you because I got sin in my own life." Your sin cannot blot out another person's sin-- so instead of rationalizing and comparing sins, let's pursue holiness. Let's pursue righteousness! I'm not saying that I'm perfect or that you'll never sin. The difference is this: When you are not saved, you pursue SIN. When you are saved, you pursue Christ. For example, a practicing homosexual cannot be saved because they pursue and continue IN their sin-- even if they have conviction about it. A practicing fornicator isn't saved because they stay in the bed and continue to have sex and ignore the truth. (read 1 John). How can we say that we love Jesus if we continue to run after things that He's made so clear to us to stay away from in our lives?

John 3:19 And the judgment is based on this fact: God's light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil.

 I don't listen to secular music, not because I think I'm better than anyone-- I just understand that MUSIC plants seeds in your heart. I blogged about TV & music affect your life here. Search the heart behind the person that is singing the song. Does their heart belong to the Father? As you read these words, they plant seeds in your heart. When a pastor that preaches the word correctly, preaches-- it plants seeds in your heart.. so when a rapper raps into your ear it doesn't? I can assure you that there's some things going on in your life as a direct result of what you've been watching and listening to on a regular basis. Don't you know that satan was over music in heaven before he got kicked out? But of course he's going for you here on this earth! And the words can even appear to be "safe" but that paired with who is singing it-- it's planting the wrong seeds in your heart. 

 For example, If you're trying to get over an ex-- you can't sit and listen to Adele all day. You think she's helping you to get over them but you're actually becoming more focused on the situation versus allowing God to heal your broken heart. The more you listen to those songs, the deeper the bitterness grows into your heart and all the while Christ is pulling on you! He's saying, "Focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead (Philippines 3:13)!!" Most of that music focuses in on YOU. Music's purpose is to glorify GOD and not self. So, if you're struggling with listening to different rappers or R & B music, ask God to help you. Instead of getting mad at me for telling you that the bible tells us to guard our hearts, ask God to show you why it makes you so upset! 

Lets get back to this judging thing. I think it's so important to talk about one of the most uninterrupted scriptures in the bible.

This is an issue that has confused many people. On one hand, we are commanded by the Lord Jesus, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1) Christians are often accused of "judging" whenever they speak out against a sinful activity. However, that is not the meaning of the Scripture verses that state, "Do not judge." There is a righteous kind of judgment we are supposed to exercise—with careful discernment (John 7:24). When Jesus told us not to judge (Matthew 7:1), He was telling us not to judge hypocritically. Meaning this, I am telling YOU not to do something but secretly, I am doing it.  Matthew 7:2-5 declares, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." What Jesus was condemning here was hypocritical, self-righteous judgments of others.

In Matthew 7:2-5, Jesus warns against judging someone else for his sin when you yourself are sinning even worse. That is the kind of judging Jesus commanded us not to do. If a believer sees another believer sinning, it is his Christian DUTY to lovingly and respectfully confront the person with his sin (Matthew 18:15-17). This is not judging, but rather pointing out the truth in hope—and with the ultimate goal—of bringing repentance in the other person (James 5:20) and restoration to the fellowship. We are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). We are to proclaim what God's Word says about sin. 2 Timothy 4:2 tells us, "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage — with great patience and careful instruction." We are to "judge" sin, but always with the goal of presenting the solution for sin and its consequences—the Lord Jesus Christ (John 14:6).

Do you see the difference? "Do not judge" is not some blanket statement that we make in our efforts to pat others on the back and make them feel ok about their sin. The bible tells us to tell our other sisters and brothers in LOVE. So if a proclaiming Christian is living a certain way, it's ok to be God-led to pull her or him aside and talk with them. Even if they reject what you have to say-- doesn't mean you stop correcting. Even if that means you say after praying to the Lord about it, "sis, you know I love you, please don't get upset with me but-- the guy your dating isn't saved. The bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. You used to be so on fire for God, but it's changed since you started dating him." Just make sure that while you're helping them sweep off their porch, that you've swept off your own in that area. You cannot be sleeping with your boyfriend-- keeping him in your bed every night but then trying to tell someone that they need to stop doing the same thing. How does that work?

 We must take our own advice. You ruin your witness when you're doing the SAME thing & preaching against it (and this is what the bible is saying, don't judge hypocritically). It seems like we ALWAYS have all this word for somebody else but all of the word we have for them, isn't working for us. If you've approached your sister in Christ about an area and she has decided to continue in her sin, then just PRAY for her. This doesn't mean you get mad at her or whatever else-- it means that you take her before God and CRY out to HIM on HER behalf. Ask yourself.. do you cry on behalf of your sisters or brothers sins or do you gossip about them? If your heart is pure in your approach-- you'll find that you'll get results. If you're talking DOWN to that person, you won't get anywhere. It's not in what you say but HOW you say it. So, be sweet when you do talk to that person. Remember that you're not GOD and if they reject you, know that they rejected Him first. At times, we just plant the seeds and it's GOD alone that waters them. If you have zero relationship with a person-- you cannot expect them to receive from you either. They aren't confident that you even know them well enough to speak into their life, on their situation and if you don't know them and you're trying to speak into their life its most likely because you're assuming which thus makes you unqualified to speak into their heart. Now, if you don't know the person.. and God tells you to do it--- DO it. Obey quickly. This isn't a formula for anything-- in everything we do, we should be God-led. So, instead of thinking of all the people you're going to correct tomorrow-- Go to the Lord and ask Him to correct and wreck YOU. We must be first humble & not self righteous in our approach. I have learned this in "correcting" people-- you cannot WANT that person to change MORE than they want to change. Remember this-- that if we really believed that prayer really works, why would we stop? 

So, the next time someone throws the word "judge" around, remember as Christians we are to righteously judge one another based on the truth of the bible-- unbelievers have already been judged as they live in darkness. Pray for their salvation instead of screaming at their sin.. they don't belong to the Father-- what else do you expect for them to do?


Just a few things:

1.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

3. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out!www.pinkypromiseconference.com

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 13,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

6. I will be in Greensboro, NC this Saturday preaching! If you're in the area-- I would love to meet you! My calendar is here: www.heatherllindsey.com 

God loves you like crazy!
Heather Lindsey

My New BOOK IS HERE!!! "A Perfect Recipe"

One of the main reasons I haven't been blogging as much is one-- because I have a new 5 month old baby and two, I have a NEW book! I've been pouring everything that God gives me into this book and I am THRILLED to share it with all of you!
Here's the details:

A Perfect Recipe: 30 days to a BRAND new you! 


An invitation for the woman desires to get closer to Christ, eat healthier and feel better.

Have you ever wanted an all-in-one book that encourages you to spend time with God, challenges your daily walk to grow as a Christian, and provides great recipes and awesome health tips? Well, you've picked up the right book!


An invitation for the woman desires to get closer to Christ, eat healthier and feel better. 

Have you ever wanted an all-in-one book that encourages you to spend time with God, challenges your daily walk to grow as a Christian, and provides great recipes and awesome health tips? Well, you've picked up the right book!


Heather is an average, everyday woman that had a desire to eat healthy, but didn't know where to start! After becoming a vegetarian she found out how hard it was to make meals that actually tasted good and satisfied her desire to still want to eat meat. For the past few years, she has perfected her favorite recipes and put them together in one place! With Heather's time saving techniques and clear instructions, you don't have to toil in the kitchen in order to enjoy a nutritious, delicious meal or snack! In A Perfect Recipe you will:

* Learn how to spend time with God again

* Tackle daily challenges that encourage you to grow in Christ

* Choose from over 50 easy vegetarian recipes

* Convert traditional recipes into healthy, all natural meals

* Receive daily health tips and information

Now, it's time to start the 30 day journey!

You can order my newest book here:  www.heatherllindsey.com. It will be on Amazon and Kindle next week! 

Thanks for ALL of your support, it really means a ton to me and I pray that God uses this books to bring you closer to Him in every way. 

P.S. I'll be blogging soon on the following: Self Esteem, Long Distance Love, and a few others! Stay tuned

Love you all dearly!

Heather Lindsey 

Secret Sins: Masturbation & Pornography

If you see a girlfriend dating a guy that is no good, you can see it. It bothers you as you share with her why she needs to get out of that unhealthy relationship. If you see someone overeating and gaining weight, you can see that. If you see someone cursing another woman out.. you can see that too.. but what sin is being done quietly.. away from the church members, behind closed doors-- where nobody is looking? Masturbation or sexually pleasing yourself and pornography. Is it a sin? I mean, you aren't bothering anybody? Yes, sis. It is and the sin is a sin against your own body. Although people cannot see what you're doing behind closed doors-- just something isn't right about you. You are walking around with the spirit of lust burdening your heart. And although you don't think you are bothering anyone & nobody can see you-- God is always watching and so is satan. Satan is laughing at you as you once again, make your body your idol and turn your heart away from Christ. Exactly what he wants.

Today, I pray that you're set free & then laugh back at satan & show him that his tricks didn't WORK.

I may not get alot of amens for this, but I had to post what the Lord placed on my heart. You can be in church every Sunday and Wednesday, spending time with God daily but still getting pulled in to please yourself. Masturbation is nearly always the result of lustful thoughts, sexual stimulation, and/or pornographic images. It is these problems that need to be dealt with. If the sins of lust, immoral thoughts, and pornography are captured and overcome, masturbation will become a non-issue. Many people struggle with guilty feelings concerning masturbation, when in reality, the things that LED to the act are far more worthy of repentance.You're only ACTING out on what you saw. And eventually, what you are doing may not fulfill you-- so you may go and try to act out what you've seen with some random man (or women for you men reading this). Then, you're pregnant out of wedlock or now you have herpes for the rest of your life. Was it really worth it? If only we recognized the end of a thing at the beginning.


Quick story:
I went to a Beyonce concert-- and yes, I'm using her name because I believe that many Christians are very wrapped up in attending her concerts. I sat in the audience in 2005 and I felt dirty. I felt the spirit of lust on me. I had to leave the concert! It's a PERFECT example that we have to guard our hearts against what we are watching. It's for your GOOD. The dancing, the pumping, the music-- is all planting seeds in your heart. And if it bothers you that I used this example, ask God to show you why it bothered you. Are you defensive because you don't want to let go of secular music? If you're struggling with sex outside of marriage or making ungodly decisions, it has alot to do with what you're planting in your heart. If you aren't submitting to your husband, then listening to these R & B artists sure won't help you with that.

Ok, back to the topic--

So how do you get free from it? 

1. You recognize that it is a sin and repent of it. Repenting means to TURN to a different direction. So when you turn from it, you delete any videos, throw out anything that causes temptation and refuse to go to places that cause you to stumble. 

2. Guard your heart against the open doors. For example, if you're watching a certain show that has sexual scenes  or listening to music that talks about sex, lust or sexual acts then, shut it down. Stop going to the different blog sites that talk about "sex tapes" or "see so & so celebrity naked." Don't you know that those things are PLANTING seeds in your HEART? You're creating pornographic images in your mind and those images are producing masturbation. 

3. Recognize that even though you're celibate from having sex with a guy, God views masturbation the same way. God views it as sexual sin and we should as well. We should desire to live HOLY as GOD is holy. So, look at it like this: You're having sex with yourself and the Holy Spirit lives on the inside of you. Does He feel welcome there?

4. Stop hanging out with people that talk about sex. Look at your heart as a ground and you must make sure that whoever you're spending your time with-- is guarding their heart as well. 

5. Spend time with God daily. This walk with the Lord is a daily journey. The less time you spend with God, the more likely you will be open to masturbation & pornography. After you read your bible, you'll  be sensitive to God's spirit and you won't want to sin. After you read a gossiping blog, you'll be hardened to it and won't mind because "it's not hurting anybody?" Actually, it is hurting someone, that someone is YOU. How can God breathe His glory into your heart if you're too busy idolizing yourself?

6. Recognize that marriage itself won't cure the lust that you have and the desire that you have to watch sexual movies and masturbate. Don't you know that you will compare them to what you see on the videos and will expect them to perform some "porno" show? As if GOD needs a porno to HELP your marriage sexually? HE is GOD. He created SEX to add to your marriage and if you have to use ungodly means to add to your marriage-life, then you're pushing the Holy Spirit out & inviting other spirits in.  

7. If you and your spouse are living apart due to work or because one person is in the military, it isn't the time to introduce porn or masturbation to "hold each other over." Do you not have the Holy Spirit inside of you that has given you a gift of self-control? If you take your attention off of your flesh for 4 seconds, it would give God a chance to pour His spirit onto you & make you content during that season! STOP running to ungodly things for freedom when true and lasting freedom is found in Christ alone!

8. And why do you and your husband need to get aroused by watching porn? If your husband cannot arouse you by being HIM, ask GOD to help you to be sexually attracted to him. STOP using the world's tactics in your bedroom. 

9. If anyone wants a porn blocker, x3watch.org is great option. For those who don't have self-control and need something to literally BLOCK their computer. It will be your accountability buddy if you don't have one. 

10. Again, turn off Usher, Trey Songs, Beyonce & whoever else is dropping sexual seeds in your heart. 

There are some biblical principles that can be applied to the issue of masturbation. Ephesians 5:3 declares, “Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity.” It is hard to see how masturbating can pass that particular test. The Bible teaches us, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). If you cannot give God glory for something, you should not do it. If a person is not fully convinced that an activity is pleasing to God, then it is a sin: “Everything that does not come from faith is sin” (Romans 14:23). We, We need to remember that our bodies have been redeemed and belong to God. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). This great truth should be directing us on what we do with our bodies. In light of these truths, the conclusion that masturbation is a sin is biblical. Clearly, masturbation is not glorifying to God; it does not avoid the appearance of immorality, nor does it pass the test of God’s having ownership over our bodies.

I'm not here  to beat you down or tell you that you're so horrible, I'm telling you to REPENT. God desires to use you and you must learn to be patient and trust His timing. So, the next time you have a desire to please yourself, STOP letting your FLESH rule your HEART. Fight BACK.



Just a few things:

1.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

3. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 13,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

6. I will be in Baltimore next week for a Singles Conference. I would love to meet you! I also added a few more states to the calendar today! :) My calendar is here: www.heatherllindsey.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey


(A family photo taken last week! Logan is 4 months now!)

Unfaithful People

When we think of unfaithfulness we automatically think of a spouse cheating on their spouse. We immediately turn our noses up at infedility but then we go and live our life so unfaithful to Christ. THEN we don't even think that being unfaithful to Christ is as HEAVY as being unfaithful towards a marriage. Isn't that sad? We weigh being unfaithful towards a person as a bigger deal then disobedience to Christ?

So, what has the Lord told you to do? Ok, now-- are you still doing what He told you to do? It's like.. God tells us to do something and then at first we are so excited about it. We are fired up. Then, life happens, you get discouraged, you get a new job, you get busy, you make new friends and then you NO longer have time to do what God told you to do. Then, your life becomes a train wreck and you're begging God, "WHERE ARE YOU?.. help me GOD!" So, are you simply picking Him up and putting Him down as you see fit??

Help me understand, HOW does that work? If you cannot be faithful with SMALL things, what makes you think that God will trust you with ANY more? Then you are begging God for a husband, a new car, a promotion & He is looking at your HEART as it's turned from HIM to worldly, simple things.

Luke 16:10 (TNIV) "Whoever can be trusted with very little can 

also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little 

will also be dishonest with much.

So, you're up here planning this HUGE ministry in your head of all these "people" you want to help but sadly, you aren't doing anything NOW to even remotely show God that you will be faithful with this big vision. You would never give the keys to your brand new car to a 4 year old. You just wouldn't. Why? Because they aren't mature enough and they don't know how to drive. They haven't proven to you that they can PASS the drivers license TEST. So, a WISE person wouldn't give them KEYS. So why do you think GOD would give you KEYS to your own "ministry" when you haven't been faithful with the ministry right in your backyard??? We have GOT to stop being so darn emotionally led and up one day, down the next, serving at church one day, leaving the church the next, moving to a new city because God told you to do it, and the next day moving back home, getting excited about what God told you to do one day, and sleeping with your little boyfriend the next because you're bored. Really sis. REALLY?

What happened to Colossians 3:23? "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." So I ask you, are you working at whatever God told you to do as though you are working onto the Lord than for people? Or are you waiting for some pat on the back from a human to keep you going? Encouragement is nice, but when you're seeking Christ & being led by Him He will ALLOW you to go through a season where you have to encourage yourself in the LORD and the only encouragement you will get will be from the Holy Spirit & scriptures. 

People always ask me, "How do you get speaking engagements?" How did you get a ministry? I respond: Are you serious?? I wasn't seeking no ministry! I wasn't seeking a platform. I would lay on my face for HOURS before GOD. I would preach full sermons to MYSELF in my apartment for hours on a Friday night. Instead of being out clubbing, I was being wrecked my God in my bathroom. I would FAST for weekends with a gallon of water in my bedroom and not moving until God spoke to me.  I would wake up every morning and spend crazy time with God, I would PASS tests privately. I LOVED people that bashed my name.  I FORGAVE whoever for whatever. I became DEPENDENT on the Lord. I obeyed Him in small things. I trusted when I didn't understand. I submitted to my husband. THAT is how I got a MINISTRY. My PRIVATE victories became PUBLIC. So stop trying to go PUBLIC without going PRIVATE. 

And don't do all of the above to "get you a ministry." I did the above because I LOVE God and I wanted to serve Him. Many people are jealous of another person's walk with God but they're just too lazy to get on their face & learn Him for themselves. 

I remember working at Universal Music Group- Island Def Jam  in Marketing and I hated my job. I would rather be working for a church or somewhere where I felt people were saved. I seriously felt like I was the only Christian there and at times we want to run from those jobs (I'm not talking about working at a strip club, but a corporate job, etc) and run to places but GOD is using YOU as the light. I worked 80 hour weeks at that job and I was only paid for 25-40 hours. The Lord told me to go there. He told me to work as though I was working for Him. He told me that if I'm being mistreated (1 peter 2:19) and I endure unfair treatment for His glory.. then HE is pleased with me. He told me to just stick it out. I would get attacked daily in that place and I wanted to get out. I wanted to run. But I couldn't quit. I had to press on AND with a good attitude. I knew that God sent me there to develop me and I KNEW I needed to be there. By the time I left, I saw at least 5-8 people give their lives to Christ including my boss. Not only that, I had developed in patience, long-suffering, joy and love.

It's seriously burns my heart when I meet women (I can talk about them because I am one)-- that say that God told them to do something & they don't DO it. It's actually confusing to me because I didn't know we had an option NOT to obey Him?? I am screaming from the rooftops.. WHO IS STILL DOING WHAT GOD TOLD THEM TO DO??? We cannot AFFORD to stop pressing into Christ. We cannot afford to stop doing the last thing He told us to do. If God told you to be an assistant, BE one and work as though you are working on the the Lord. If the Lord called you to be a manager at a company, ask the Holy Spirit to HELP you lead them properly. If God called you to start an organization right NOW, DO IT. STOP waiting for "somebody" else to do what GOD told you to do. God told YOU to do it & then you got offended & stopped doing the last thing He told you to do. 

You know, you will one day stand before God, not me; so you could possibly care less what I say. But as someone who DAILY is WORKING on LIVING for Christ against the odds, against my feelings, against wanting to quit at times, against it ALL-- I charge you to get back on your FACE before GOD if you've left Him. I cannot QUIT. Neither can YOU. You should CARE about this WALK. It must be your priority. It cannot be about your car, job, not having a man, having a crazy husband or whatever ELSE. Those silly things are distractions!! WE seek and serve GOD because of what CHRIST did for us. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He DIED. HE DIED. So what makes you think that your little emotions & feelings don't have to DIE to DO what HE has called you to do? GOD will raise up somebody else to do what you will not do. 

Maybe God is calling you into a season of resting. That's fine too. Resting is obedience. But for some of you, God has told you to do something but life has distracted you & you're NO longer doing it. So let's give ourselves a checkup. You go to the doctor for your annual checkup and some of us need daily checkups with the Holy Spirit. Matter of fact, all of us do. Let's start. Right now. 

Just a few things:

1. You can sign up in the United States for daily inspirational text messages. Text 84464 & write PINKYPROMISE for daily inspiration and after you get a confirmation, text BEDCHECK to the same number. You will get nightly bedchecks! :)

2. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

3. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 13,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store. JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

6. I will be in Detroit up next for a book signing on June 12th. I would love to meet you! See details on my calendar via www.heatherllindsey.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey 

"The Perfect Woman"

Ever found yourself trying to fit into some image of this woman you want to be? You have examples all around you of your idea of what you think is a "perfect" woman. So, you attempt to do all of these things like cook, clean, start a business God didn't tell you to start, work crazy hours at a job you have no peace about just to find value, go to school (knowing good & well God never told you to go), charge up your credit cards, get your hair done, work out or whatever else... and you put all this pressure on yourself to be this "woman." Guess what?

She doesn't exist. 

Let me encourage you sis-- putting all this pressure on yourself to be some person that God didn't call you to be will only distract and clutter your heart. Then, you won't even be able to hear God's voice because you're so busy trying to be an image instead of accepting that you're MADE in His image. Do I think EFFORT is a good thing to do your hair, work out, etc-- of course- but it's WRONG when those things are before God. How can those above things replace God? When you've made them idols and you've stopped seeking Christ & now you're seeking degrees, money, a man or whatever else. Did you know that people are in hell for love? They loved the wrong things and people and replaced GOD with those things they loved. They loved money. They loved power. They loved being "popular." They loved keeping a man in their bed. They loved porn. They loved to drink. They love to smoke. They loved rebellion. I ask you sis, what do you love? What are you "loving" as you try to achieve your idea of being a "perfect woman?" What is in your heart? WHO are you when nobody else is looking? Underneath the makeup, smile, and body... who are you all alone? Ask God to wreck & change your heart. And CONTINUE to ask Him to do this because this walk with God is not a sprint but a DAILY journey of living for Him.

 Being perfect is impossible because we live in a fallen world. Trying to be perfect is going to stress you out because you're trying to achieve something that only Christ did. I always say, "I ain't perfect but I'm connected to the One who is & His strength is perfected in my weakness."
I want to encourage you to take all of who you are and lay it at the feet of Jesus. Take your hurts, pains, issues, lipstick, handbags, image, job, boyfriend, your marriage and whatever else and lay it at the Father's feet. Is He pleased with it all? Or have you replaced those "things" with Him? We cannot afford to switch all hard around here in direct disobedience to God. It just isn't WORTH it. 

While trying to be the perfect woman, you may find yourself sweeping your past hurts underneath the rug. As you sweep them under the rug and throw a smile on your face-- you've fooled everyone but what you don't realize is that that hurt is seeping out onto your face in the form of stress. It's seeping out in your words. It's seeping out in your relationships. You begin to charge everyone for what your past did to you. You must LET GO of whoever hurt you. You must stop trying to carry this mantle when Christ died so you could finally rest in HIM. 

Matthew 11:29 ESV 

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Exodus 33:14 ESV 

And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.

It's amazing to me that as we read throughout the bible-- we find that Jesus is pleading for us to rest in  Him. Then, we go and get this 5 year plan that we put together in our wicked heart that Christ had NOTHING to do with and slap it on the wall & throw a few scriptures on it and call it God. When did we get so busy? When did we replace His precious Spirit with the "make it happen independent attitude?!" Some of us are pursuing goals and dreams and we have gotten all dressed up and Jesus is our accessory.  We sure look good in our disobedience. But our heart is a wreck & it's so far from Christ. I fear God. I fear standing before Him one day & He say this: "On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity"- Matthew 7:22-23. That scripture scares me.  I don't want to ever think that I've figured life out. I don't want to ever long for this world more than I long for Christ. I don't ever want to get so caught up in myself that I do all these "Jesus" things but my heart is so far from Christ.  I'm "busy" about just doing things that look good but Christ didn't tell me to do any of them. Just thinking of this HUMBLES me daily. You may think-- it doesn't take all this Heather-- you're too hard on yourself. No, I reverence and fear God. It DOES take all of that because you have the world that is pumping it's ways into your head 24-7 and if you aren't sitting before the Father-- at His feet, you can easily get caught up in this world. So, where is your heart... "perfect woman?" You cannot take your red bottoms, weave, cooking and job to heaven. Let's start seeking the One we cannot see & develop in the fruit of the Spirit (love, peace, joy, patience, self control.)

How do you do this?

Ask God to help you daily. Be content with your today. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Ask Him to help you to recognize when you're being tested so you can pass the test. Ask God to show you where you're wasting your time in life. Join a church or a Pinky Promise group for accountability. Stop beating yourself down from your past sin & turn from it and repent. PRIORITIZE- God first, then your husband, children, then ministry & your job. The bible calls a "perfect" or "ideal" woman one with CHARACTER & doesn't even mention her beauty (according to Proverbs 31.) Win people over with your QUIET & GENTLE spirit-- not your looks. (1 Peter 3:4) In Jeremiah 1:5 it says that our lives our pre-planned & organized so clearly-- there's a PATH laid out for you. Are you seeking Christ as HE leads you or are you leading YOURSELF & asking God to join you?

Few things:

1. So sorry that I haven't been blogging! Part of the joys of being a new mommy! Thanks for your patience as I balance life! ;-)

2. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

3. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 13,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store. JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey 

(Newborn shoot! Logan is 4 weeks here!)