"How to Start a Business- God's Way + Up & Comers"

 People ask me ALL the time-- HOW did you start Pinky Promise??! I want to start a new business & I don't know where to start. Let's all be clear, I didn't mean to start Pinky Promise. I really didn't. GOD birthed this crazy passion in me years ago to help women and show them that their value and worth comes from Christ alone. I didn't set out to turn this into a business with a full store. I just wanted to help people. I've ALWAYS loved accessories and WWJD bracelets so I figured.. what a great idea to make a bracelets that shows our promise.. or vow to honor God with our life & body until we get married. I put one online .. thinking that nobody would care..

I honestly thought that maybe 50 or 60 people would buy bracelets-- but THEN.. so many people said they would wear it and that they wanted to purchase one. I saw the demand for people that need fun daily reminders of their decision.. but I still didn't think anything of it. Until I created www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com which is my online store. I put a few bracelets up.. and to date.. there's been somewhere around 10,000 plus orders in JUST a couple months! (It was birthed January 26th 2012.)

I was shocked! I'm like, LORD! Where did all these people come from?! Then, I decided to name the line Pinky Promise. It's a promise or a vow to honor God with your life and your body-- whether single or married. Ya'll know what I mean married folks-- the attacks don't stop after you get married. After I sent out thousands and thousands of bracelets, I went to the Lord to discuss ways to keep the movement going. He showed me how important it was to get people involved. If you can get people involved-- they will have accountability to KEEP their promises & vows to God! So, I started small groups and now we have over 1500 members and over 120 small groups ALL over the world! They meet twice a month (at least) and I teach once a month. During their meetings-- they go over a study that I prepare based on what we're studying that month. In May, we studied Salvation and in June we'll be studying Discontentment and how it affects our life. Each month we have a different study.. (emotions, health, purpose, etc)

If you want to join a group in your local area or to start one-- you can go to www.pinkypromisemovement.com and be sure to watch the Orientation. Since it's birth, we've started a journal challenge, started selling journals, No Randoms & Pinky Promise tees & so much more! We are also having a Pinky Promise conference (www.pinkypromiseconference.com) in January of 2013 (Jan 24-27) and we invite you join us!

Pinky Promise has been such a blessing to me!! It's been such a fun way outwardly to express the decision we made in our heart. We're going in stores soon, working with youth groups, public schools and so much more-- spreading the word that YOU are worth the WAIT and that you don't have to entertain unhealthy relationships! Now, I have tens of thousands of new sisters in Christ that have experienced what I've gone through & are pressing into Christ! HOW amazing!?! We ALL have ONE goal-- that is to HONOR GOD WITH OUR LIFE, for real.

So, I say all of this to say.. How do you start you own business?

1. Don't do it for money. We chase God-- not stuff. Please believe you'll be using ALOT of your OWN money so it betta be a "God-idea" so HE can fund it.

2. Do what you're passionate about! Not what you mom wants you to be passionate about.

3. Do your research! Find out what others are doing in your market

4. Time management is important! Pinky Promise is a FULL time job so I have been learning to balance everything which is a huge task at times. Pinky Promise has been added to my already full plate!

5. Spend crazy time with God daily. Remember that this is HIS business, you're just managing it. If your business is really God-- He will lead you.

6. Hang in there when things look rough .. as long as you know you have a GOD idea & not a "good" idea, hang in there. Sometimes, God allows dry seasons just to develop you & show you that HE is the only One that matters, not all this fluff.

7. Have purpose in your business. Everything at Pinky Promise has a PURPOSE.

8. Don't compare your portion to ANYBODY elses! Period. Yeah, they may be doing what you're doing but GOD told YOU to do it. So stay in your lane.

9. Customer service is important. Make sure you respond quickly to folks. Imagine having over 10,000 orders.. and dealing with changed addresses, lost orders, etc!

10. Don't get discouraged. Be prepared to front some of your OWN money at times to take care of your business. You will have long hours with no what seems like benefit. Just hang in there. Stay close to God. He leads & guides you.

11. YOU HAVE TO BE ORGANIZED. Pull on accountants or people that can help you keep the numbers right. You'll need a EIN (Employee Identification Number) -- you can just go to any bank and open up a business account and they will give you one.

12. Figure out what type of business you have-- Non-Profit? LLC? Do your reasearch and plan to spend money. Can be upwards to $1,000 plus depending on what you plan to start.

13. Get your stuff TRADEMARKED. I compared & contrasted between a ton of attorneys and I went with Legalzoom.com as it was recommended by a TON of attorneys. They filed for me & it worked out perfectly. Plan to spend about $1,000+ to get your trademark. You don't want someone to come in & steal your idea or logo.

14. If you're a non-profit-- get some grant writers to give you GRANTS to do what you're doing.

15. File your taxes. Get a 1099 & file!! Don't try to get around it because you may end up in jail. If you sold some stuff or made a profit, you gotta pay taxes on it. Period. They somehow will find you.

In lieu of this blog, I wanted to share one of my favorite bracelets.. the "Linda Cross Bracelet" that is named after my mother. If you place your order within the next week (until June 1st)-- you will receive 20% off the Linda Cross Bracelet. Just type in: LINDACROSS1 for the discount on www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Ok, I always want to HIGHLIGHT some up & comers. So, I've compiled a few people that I personally recommend & LOVE. These folks are totally in love with Jesus & they have some amazing gifts.

First up:

Hope Ballenger

Company: Hope Ballenger Photography

Hope was working at AT&T and was a bit frustrated with how she spent her days working for someone else. One day, she went into Best Buy & somehow ended up with a professional camera. The light went OFF! SHE fell in love with Photography! I had no idea that my friend, Hope did photography-- she kind of just sprang it on me & I saw some of her work! I was blown away. So, I had to book a photoshoot with her! I was blown away by how easy it was to work with her & her beautiful ideas. She's officially the Pinky Promise Photographer so she'll be at the Conference in January! HOPE has such a beautiful GIFT. Honored to work with her.
Hope Ballenger Photography
Contact number 864-650-7375
Email address: hopeballengerphoto@gmail.com
www.hopebphoto.com
Facebook: Facebook.com/hopeballengerphoto

Some of our photoshoot! :)

Terry-Ann Phillips

 Company: Designer/Stylist of Thierry Couture

I have known Terry Ann for a few years now from my days in New York City! I had NO clue that deep within her was this amazing eye for style & designing! When Terry first told me that she wanted to make a dress for me, I have to be honest-- I was nervous! I didn't even tell her what I wanted-- I just told her to go at it! I really wanted to see her talent! So I gave her my measurements (over the phone!) and she went to work! Two days before my trip to go out of town.. arrives this dress. I was SHOCKED! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! I put the dress on and the material was SO high END I was blown away! It was like.. the dress was mad perfectly for my BODY. Every detail was handcrafted.. I was in love! This dress was so slimming and I would HIRE TerryAnn to make ANY special occasion dress! Seriously! She also made this amazing yellow feather piece below that I wore in San Juan, PR last month. Again, FIT like a glove and a one-of-a-kind piece. Kudos to you Terry. You're amazing & God has gifted you!

Website www.thierrycouture.com
Email address: Thierryann.com@gmail.com
Instagram: Terryann64
Twitter: terryann333

Last but not least...

Ali North

Company: Sweet Expectations Certified Baby Planner

As you know, I don't have any babies yet (thank God-- that in due season, He will grace me with babies & TIME to take care of them with my work schedule!) but my PR company told me about this-- and I just had to look into it! You know how you have.. an event planner, wedding planner.. all that good stuff? What happens if you have a baby for the first time & you don't have a CLUE where to start?! That's where Ali comes in! She is a BABY planner! I think it's such a smart idea! She's totally knowledgeable about all those things you don't even think of! I would "like" her page on facebook and check out her site! She also started this business to help women that were considering abortion.. as a way to say, "I'm here to help you, you aren't alone." AMAZING!!!!!!

www.sweetexpectationsbabyplanner.com
www.facebook.com/losangelesbabyplanner
Twitter: @BabyPlannerAli
Cell: 310-922-6682


I hope these ideas have inspired you to be & do EVERYTHING that God you to do. Remember that there's a TIME for everything under the sun. At times, we can step out and do things that God told us wasn't the right "time" for us to start. So be patient if you have an idea in your heart. God will bring those things to pass in DUE time. WHEN you're living for GOD-- HE will organize it, network it, introduce you to the right people by setting you up.. over & over again. You don't have to do stupid things for success.. SUCCESS is FOUND in obeying God. Period.
God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey

A Friend Reminder: Got Friends?!

                                     (me & my best friend, Delan of 13 years!)

So, it's heavy on me to clear up this whole friend thing. I did a blog on best friends, but I want to just get really raw & uncut in this area. I think we've been bamboozled.

WHO told you that LIFE was all about you?! We go through friends like we're drinking water-- while running from the first one who offends us. YES, I believe that everyone cannot rock with you. YES I believe that GOD sets you apart but I ALSO believe that YOU throw away friendships that ARE good because of your skewed vision. If I cut off every person that hurt me, I would NOT have a single friend! My two best friends of 13 years each & I have gone through SOME stuff together. We've argued, had quiet seasons, didn't talk, talked, yelled, screamed, fought, you NAME it. But we've stuck it out over the years and the relationship got better. A friendship is like a marriage. YOU WORK THROUGH IT. They are both covenant relationships. I cannot expect my friends to be "PERFECT" & neither can you.

The KEY to a healthy friendship is "acceptance." It may be hard for you to accept your friends in their current state but you ain't God & you cannot be GOD over their life. YOU cannot change them. IF they wanna sleep around & act a fool, you get on your face for them & pray for them! As I said above, there's some amazing relationships that GOD placed you in and at the FIRST sign of trouble-- you RUN. Then you call it a closed door by God.. but GOD didn't really close that door, YOU & your emotions did. Are you serious?! There's times where my friends were disobeying God and I knew it! I didn't throw them away because you know what-- I aint perfect either. I have ISSUES & things I NEED to work on. What if God threw us away everytime we "missed it"-- we wouldn't have made it past 2 years old.
The next time you are tempted to be "mad" at someone-- slow down, check your emotions & SEE where you're involved in the equation. Our past hurts, pains & struggles PLAY a part in how we respond to people. Sometimes, we're overly sensitive, touchy, easily angered & guarded because of everyone else before them. So, instead of throwing the next person away that "irritates" you-- check yourself first. No friendship is perfect & every relationship has growing pains. Remember that it cannot possibly be "everyone" else and if it is them.. give them some of the grace that God gives you daily. ♥

So today, I challenge you. Do you say "all girls the same?!" Do you NOT want to hang out with anyone or open up to anyone because you think everyone is going to hurt you? It cannot possibly be all of those people you meet. You HAVE a part to play somewhere in there and it's time to take responsibility of pushing everyone away. Then, go to Christ & let HIM heal your HEART. Stop holding on to every baggage from your past. Vent, cry, get it all out & then BE a good friend to those around you. GRACE people. LOVE them with the love that Christ has given you. Treat people how you want to be treated. STOP gossiping about your friends as if you don't have a backyard. You are hurt when others talk about you-- so why would you talk about others?

Let's DO our part.

GOD loves you like crazy,

Heather

"Making your Relationship WORK 101: God's Way"

Soo, you finally met your "Adam"-- your boo! And you looooove him so much! So much.. sometimes, you want to EXPRESS it physically by kissing, rubbing, cuddling.. or maybe even sex. YOU want to feel close to him ...BUT deep down, YOU want your relationship to glorify God. YOU don't want your relationships to mirror your past relationships but you can't quite figure out how to "court" or date .. God's way. You KEEP taking your past ways of thinking from the world.. into your courting relationship and you find yourself having to choose between GOD and your man, often. So you both have sex, repent and give that area to God.. OVER & OVER again. You're TIRED. You WANT to live for GOD for real but you aren't convinced that you should break up with your boo. YOU want to make things work but you just cannot figure out how to turn off that switch. You could be engaged and SO close to the wedding day-- HOW do you abstain?!?

Well, this post may be for you if any of the above applied to you. And trust me sisters, I have BEEN there & DONE all that. I dated as a Christian but was STILL all up in the world & I courted God's way-- where my husband and I didn't kiss until our wedding day. We courted for 1 year and 8 months and kissed for the first time on 8/14/2010. I blogged about it here. SO, let's first quickly break down the difference between courting & dating.

Dating vs. Courting 101

Before we even get into that-- let's just make sure that we're ALL on the same page. YOU don't get into a relationship with an unbeliever. (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). SOOO, if he says he's a Christian, but he wants to be a drug-dealing, thug rapper that curses every 5 minutes-- he aint the one. OR to bring it closer to home.. if he goes to "church" but tries to screw you every 5 minutes, HE aint the one. A tree is identified by it's FRUIT. FRUIT of your salvation is a changed life. You can't just "say" you're a Christian cuz you go to church. Demons can do that.

Courtship:

• Takes the position that the two people have no physical contact at all (no touching, no hand-holding, no kissing) until marriage. 
• Many in a courtship relationship will not spend any time together unless family members, preferably parents, are present at all times.
•  Courting couples state up front that their intentions are to see if the other person is a suitable potential marriage partner. 
• Courtship allows for the two people to truly get to know each other in a more platonic setting without the pressures of physical intimacy or emotions clouding their view.

Dating:

• Spends a ton of time alone which presents a ton of temptations
• Family isn't as involved
• Foreplay, not going all the way, going all the way, "test driving each other"
• No clear purpose-- just a lot of conditional dating & confusion on "where is this relationship going??!)
• Plays house. Calls each other wifey & hubby & does husband & wife like things but has no commitment
• There's still a option to date others, ya'll aren't totally sold & still "trying each other out"

My husband and I courted ALL day. We STAYED out in groups with people and family & we were rarely alone in our almost 2 year courting process. It was great for him and I to see how each other interacted with others in large groups. Was it hard?! UM, YES. It wasn't EASY but if it was EASY, everybody would do it. But as a wife, I see the FRUIT of it. It's pretty amazing. Beyond amazing. Mind-blowing amazing.

Ok, let's get to the nitty griddy! 

HOW to make sure your relationship GLORIFIES God 

1. STOP having sex. If you're having sex & ya'll aint married. JUST STOP IT! HAVING sex is SEPARATING you from GOD! God may be trying to speak to you concerning that guy.. but you can't hear because your vision is all clouded because you're in "love"-- you aint in love, you're in lust. LOVE waits until marriage. So first step-- go to God-- MAKE sure that God is ok with you even staying with that person. Real talk. HE is JEALOUS for you. If God is cool with you staying with him (and BOTH sides have repented and made a decision to honor God) then start this journey on the same PAGE (amos 3:3). Meaning you SET up some boundaries. STOP cuddling, rubbing, putting yourself in 1:1 situations and if it's late, you shouldn't be at each others house! My now husband and I didn't hang out LATE at each others house! There was NONE of that. We were never at each others home late at night PERIOD. And let's clear this up-- if you cannot STOP having sex-- lasciviousness has crept into your relationship. NOW you cannot find the breaks or STOP having sex. BUT you can. YOU will desire whatever you put in front of you & give your attention to.. so tell your little flesh to shut up & be determined to obey GOD. Remember, that man didn't PAY the price for you. Christ did. So he should keep his paws off your body that doesn't belong to either one of you until you get MARRIED.
And for those of you who are smiling as you read this & thinking.. "we haven't had sex.. we have messed around but haven't gone the whole way"-- well, babygirl, I'm talking to YOU as well. Do you think that God doesn't look at ya'll playing around with the SAME destest?! It's a MINDSET. .. "BE HOLY as HE is HOLY"- 1 Peter 1:16

And if you don't believe me that it's wrong to have sex outside of marriage, it's clear here: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18

2. Guard your heart. (Proverbs 4:23) STOP watching stupid reality TV songs, going to clubs, love-sex songs, pornography or blogs. DO you know that those things plant seeds in  your heart. Then, you wonder why you want to live it out & be sexual with  your guy! SO stop being all sexual as you sing & dance a beyonce song to your guy. Even IF you're joking. Men are visual & their APPLIANCES work. WHY test it out?

3. Actions. Are you super sexual? Do you dance in front of him a ton? Do you change in front of him or wear low-cut shirts? Do you wear bikinis around him at the pool? JUST STOP. My now husband didn't see me in a bikini until the HONEYMOON. I didn't wear low-cut things, showing my goodies. I VALUE myself, thus, I cover up. Plus, Cornelius didn't pay the price for me yet called marriage, so he didn't get to see my body. Period. I mean.. why by the milk if you're getting to see EVERY part of the cow for free.. 

4. Tell your emotions to shut up. So of COURSE you want to lay up, kiss, cuddle and do all of those things but at SOME point, you just have to tell your emotions to calm DOWN. When you finally take a stand & obey GOD in your relationship-- the flesh won't have a foothold in your heart-- THEN you'll be able to pass some tests. WHEN you honor God-- he will OVERWHELM you with honor. I'm watching the Lord do that in our life. It was HARD not to kiss as we grew in love with each other but we developed emotionally & I'm seeing the fruit as a wife. SO, take ya tail home at night. Tell each other NO. LOVE God more than you love each other. 

5. GOD has to be first. This is so cliche. But it's the truth & this will never change. the above 4 reasons won't happen unless GOD is really first in  your heart. Spend DAILY time with Him, apply what you learned, serve in your local church, walk in love, pray earnestly for your guy, forgive whoever hurt you-- DO your part. When TWO believers come together with their hearts committed to Christ.. YOU both turn into a POWER COUPLE.

6. Spend time with God. THIS will be included in EVERY blog that I do. THIS will never change. When you stay connected with God.. you won't WANT to sin. YOU will WANT to please GOD. YOU WANT what you put IN front of your face. I blogged about the Journal Challenge. Get on board. Like now.

If you wonder why jealousy, envy, and being controlling is involved in a relationship, it's evident of WHO you let into your relationship. When you have sex outside of marriage it introduces feelings & unhealthy emotions. WHY even open yourself UP to statan? YOU belong to whoever you obey. Sounds kinda harsh right? ... Well, I didn't say it-- Titus 1:16 "They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good." & John 8:44: "You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire"

I'm not saying this to beat you down-- I'm trying to CHALLENGE you to change your LIFE & chose GOD over a piece of non-committed meat.A relationship can either be a distraction that leaves you stuck in a ditch-- hurt, confused or frustrated-- or it can be a bridge that PUSHES you towards Christ. If you've messed up in your relationships.. make a decision to start new! Don't think.. oh, we messed up & God can't use us and we won't have the story that "we waited"-- DO what GOD is instructing YOU to do.

In my own personal life, I knew if I had sex with my little boyfriends (when I was single)-- I KNEW I wasn't going to marry them. I remember thinking one time afterwards.. well, another one bits the dust. Aint it homie. That may sound weird to you, but I KNEW that I was going to wait with my one-day husband. Of course, I clearly played a role in the above but I KNEW that my one day spouse would have the standard of honoring my body until we got married. I KNEW that the Holy Spirit wasn't pleased with my yo-yo Christianity life while I was at church on Sunday and staying the night with my little boo on Monday. Like, did I NOT hear what the preacher was saying??! HOW many days was I going to SIT up & IGNORE what I know to be true?!! WE know what to do in our relationships, we just won't DO it. So today, I challenge YOU to make it RIGHT. I challenge you to take ya tail home at night and to STOP putting yourself in situations where you're not honoring God. It's time for us to stop going to God every 5 minutes and begging him for our purpose and direction when we have a pair of thighs up in our bed that didn't pay the price for us. Step 1: Obey God Step 2: You'll get the next instructions.

Oh yeah, and God just placed this on my heart before I posted this. I'm not saying this to make you feel you guilty but I gotta write it. WE all can see if you & the guy had sex. Your affection & chemistry & lusty spirit is CLEAR & it's ALL on you. DO you not know that what you PUT in YOU illuminates OUTSIDE of you?!? Put in God's word, study, prayer--we can see your heart.. filled with purity and a "glow" about you. If you're sleeping with your guy.. we can see it in  your eyes. So change. Not for people. But for YOU & GOD. You're so valuable. So beautiful. Start living, thinking& acting like  it.

Let's do this right.

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey
(hubby & I in San Juan, PR this past week)

"WHERE is my ADAM?!?!"

Ever asked yourself this question? I get this question a TON from my sisters in Christ. They are trying to be patient as they watch everybody else change their relationship status on Facebook from .. Single.. to "In a Relationship" to "Engaged" & then "Married"-- and every summer they dread getting fifty million wedding invitations. 

You could be serving Jesus with ALL of your heart and pushing a certain age. As the world around you seems to be skipping off in the wind, you may feel like WHEN is my time GOD??! WHEN is my ADAM going to WAKE up and find me???!  God, I serve you-- I LIVE for you-- I serve in the church, I'm a virgin or a born again virgin-- I'm turning down these guys left and right because they are a hot mess and they're sorta saved. I mean, I deserve a great guy. I want kids, I want to start a family, I'm a good catch! WHAT is the issue GOD??!??! You may paste.. a smile on your face but deep down, its a lingering question in your heart. At times, you get down about it every now and then. My beautiful sister in Christ.. I want to encourage you-- YOU are being PREPARED for not just a man-- but the very PURPOSE you were being created for. It's much bigger than you having a pair of thighs in your bed. 

So if you ever asked yourself this question. I pray that this encourages you.

If you don't understand what I mean about your Adam waking up.. check this out these quick summaries:

Genesis 2:18- “It’s NOT good for man to be alone—I’m going to create a help meet for him.” (ladies, I didn’t write it—God did) YOU’RE a HELP-MEET. God has placed so many beautiful gifts inside of you to HELP your man to fulfill everything that God has called him to do. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a career or a life as I work an own a consulting company where I work full time and I’m in ministry full time.  The above scripture doesn’t say—I’m going to create a leader for him. So stop trying to run your man. (I’ll blog about the 2012 woman at later time)

Then, Adam gave PURPOSE to every thing in verse 19, 20 and went on and named all of the animals. He called them a name with a PURPOSE. Which means.. that if you’re in a relationship that doesn’t carry a purpose, you probably shouldn’t be in it.

Let’s get to the meat of your “Adam.”

“Vs. 21- And the Lord God caused a DEEP sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and took one of his ribs & closed up the flesh thereof; vs. 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man. Vs. 23 And Adam said, “THIS is now bone of my bone & flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of man—therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother & cleave to his wife.”

Ok—so the ABOVE scripture tells me that EVE did nothing in light of pursing Adam. She didn’t have to SWITCH all hard past him, dress half naked, sleep with him, tell him that “HE was gonna be her hussssband” or anything else. God PREPARED her behind the scenes and when she was FULLY prepared—God presented her perfectly for Adam and guess what—ADAM recognized her!! He wasn’t confused with her & the billy goat or the horse—He KNEW that Eve was his wife. There was no question. So run from the man that is confused about who he wants to be with. You are NOT someone’s option. YOUR Adam will quickly recognize YOU & take action to lock you in because he will SEE your great value and worth. He wouldn’t dare do anything to mess up the relationship because he wouldn’t want to lose you OR see you go to another “Adam.”

So the above tells me that …

1. Every relationship that you do have—should have purpose, whether male or female. (And no, guys & girls cannot be friends—I blogged about it here)
2.  You should stop settling for a bunch of randoms that want to date you when convenient. You’re trying to fill VOIDS that can only be filled by CHRIST. So, just stop it.
3.  If you have to sit and question a guy—he aint the one.
4.  God is the best matchmaker—HE organizes & prepares OUR life for His glory.
5.  Your Adam is in a DEEP sleep & that’s why HE hasn’t FOUND you.
6.  When God wakes him up—you both will be able to recognize each other.
7.  Calm down
8.  Ladies, you’re a help meet—You’re supposed to HELP him—why are you trying to help a  wanna-be-rapper with no job, no vision, no future and 5 baby mamas?
9. You are to help him to accomplish the purpose of God over your life.. not helping to each other to your bodies prior to marriage.
10. You cannot wake up your Adam—clearly, God put Adam in a deep sleep & woke his tail up.

So now that we see all of that—STOP going around and trying to wake up your Adam! STOP trying to get him to see your body, hips, and thighs and focus on spending time with CHRIST and letting CHRIST develop this crazy inner beauty about you. And I aint trying to toot my own horn because I WAS a straight train wreck while I was single but one thing I did do—was spend crazy time with God. As you spend this crazy time with Him.. He begins to put this light on you, an anointing. I made spending time with God a PRIORITY every SINGLE day—I would pour out, get on my face, pray often, meditate on scriptures like it was fresh water & I stalked Jesus. MEN were DRAWN to my anointing. Yeah, they probably thought I was cute too—but there’s a ton of “cute” not saved women out there. It was the CHRIST in me that they were drawn TO. When guys would meet me—they would say that they were so drawn to me  & wanted to run off in the wind & get married. Thus, it made it harder to weed them out & stay focused on Christ because I HAD them banging down my door. Now—let me also say this—they weren’t WHAT I knew I was supposed to be with, thus—I never dated them.

You may be in a situation where you feel like no guys call you or try to talk to you. Trust me—this is even better then having fifty million randoms banging down your door. IT is very distracting. In the midst of the randoms.. I just knew that God had the right one for me. Of course, I could have married ANY of them.. but I just KNEW that there was one that I would go & start a ministry with and travel all over this crazy world & share Christ.  God told me my purpose in 2003 after we had a date night together. He told me that I would travel all over this world & preach the gospel and that millions of people will come into the knowledge of WHO He is through me & my husband’s ministry. Now—I had just broke up with my little boyfriend from college so I was thinking—wow! I have a huge standard. Just can’t marry anybody.

I want to encourage you sisters. Satan is after your mindset. He wants you to think that you’ll be like sister so & so & single your whole life. He wants you to think that you’ll never get married. He wants you to think that you’ll be too old to have kids, He wants you to believe his stupid LIES. IF you believe his lies, you’ll be WAY too wrapped up & distracted to do what God called you to do. You’ll serve in church but deep down, your heart will hurt & you’ll grow frustrated. I want to challenge you to have JOY RIGHT NOW. No matter what season you’re in!! Some of you may think that.. it’s “easy” for me to say that because I’m married but my DUE date for marriage was August 14^th 2010. YOU have a due date for marriage that has been PRE-ARRANGED by Christ.. and there’s NOTHING you can do right NOW to make that time come any quicker. Being pissed off at God & everyone else who is getting married sure won’t make that season come any sooner. So, dear daughters of Jesus.. rest sis. God loves you. He’s with you. He cares for you. He hasn’t forgotten about you. Your Adam will wake up in DUE time but that just can no longer be the focus of your mindset & cares. If you DRILL in your head that you’re going to trust God and HIS timing & be determined to enjoy life.. YOU will. If you drill in your head .. stupid love songs & stalking your ex boyfriends new life & girlfriend on his facebook page, you’re going to be sad & down. Keep your eyes on your OWN grass & water that grass.. clean it up… make it pretty. Let God develop beautiful gifts & areas into your heart. Pass some tests. Stop being so darn emotional. Surround yourself around positive women. Stop going to the club to finds you a man. STOP having sex with randoms.  Stop complaining about your “time.” Bring something to the table of your one-day marriage besides discontentment your entire single life.

I also taught a message called "How to be a Woman After God's Own Heart"-- & I taught the above & so much more!! check it out here. 

God wants ALL of you.

He LOVES you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

WHY won't they COMMIT?!?!

Ever found yourself in that place? Maybe you had an ex boyfriend that you went back and forth with.. or an ex girlfriend you used to just sleep with or maybe it's just that friend with benefits & things didn't quite work out.. ya'll never had a title and both of you would always get into other relationships but there was still a hope deep in your heart that you would go from side chick to main chick. (same for guys as well)

If that person cannot figure out what they want in a relationship & who they want to be with-- help them out. Make the decision for them & remove yourself! You're not someones option! Get yourself out of the competition already. The one God has for you will recognize your value & commit to you. Don't settle another day of your life with a random-- it sure doesn't take all that drama & its such a waste of time & energy.

Let's be clear, people DO what they want to DO. So if someone needs some water-- they go to the faucet and get water. If they want to work out, they go to the gym. If they WANT to go to school, they go to school. If they SEE your value, they make a point to develop a relationship with you & STAY with you. WHY do we get so confused when people don't WANT to be with us? Stop making it so complicated. It just IS what is IS. We must understand that GOD closes & opens certain relationships doors for your PROTECTION! You can no longer cry over spilled milk. Instead, dust yourself off-- GET up and get FOCUSED. God has a plan for your life and it's much bigger than your relationship status! Satan is trying to have you all messed up & confused and sad and Jesus is interceding on your behalf -- saying, my CHILD, I want your WHOLE heart so I can LEAD your life & introduce you to MY best for you.

I wouldn't have CRIED over all of my exes if I knew WHAT I know now! Stop crying over people you were never meant to be with! All the signs were there-- but you lifted your STANDARDS because they were "fine" or your "clock was tickin" or you were lonely.. so instead of refusing to get into that relationship-- you slowly excepted their cursing.. lying, sexual antics.. staying the night.. smoking.. drinking.. clubbing.. well he only cheated.. 3 times.. or 5.. or 6.

Let's all be clear, no person is perfect but you need to have deal breakers from the very beginning! For example-- are you a Christian? Ok, you are? What KIND of Christian are you? Do you just go to "church" on Sunday but will try to sleep with me Monday? Ok, do you really LIVE this thing? Are you going to pressure me to do things that dishonor God?? And while we're at it.. WHO told you your body was yours?!? Your BODY is the temple of the HOLY SPIRIT!! (1 Cor. 6:19-20) The Holy Spirit lives in YOU. Does He like to live in you or does HE want OUT?! Are you filling your heart.. and body with more randoms..?

I have to be raw and honest with just a few reasons why they won't commit to you.

1. They aren't 100% sold. That sounds horrible, I know- but it's the truth. They think you have some great qualities.. but not enough to lock it in forever. He or she is "waiting" for you to get "better" here or there but in all honestly, LOVE is PATIENT-- it grows & develops with you & if you can't take them JUST like they are-- then you don't need to be with them. Don't marry an expectation that YOU can change a person. Everybody has an issue.. including you.

2. Fear of commitment. Maybe they saw their mama or daddy or someone else NOT commit for years. For them, it's like confinement. It's WRONG. Perfect LOVE casts out all fear (John 4:18), including that one.

3. That's NOT Gods best for your life. We all think sometimes that we can control our little lives & "make it work"-- once I was in a relationship & wanted to marry the guy. I was determined to DO things God's way to MAKE it work. It got so unhealthy-- the Lord told me that if we dont' break things off-- it's only going to get worse. It was God's way of closing a door that "looked good" in my head & LEADING & guiding my LIFE because I submitted all of it to Him.

4. WHY buy your cow if YOU are giving homie the milk for free? I'm just saying!! If you PLAY house with him.. cook his meals, sleep with him & help pay the bills.. WHY would he marry you? Put some standards up & stop playing house.

5. Money. THIS is a huge one. STOP waiting for everything to be perfect. Guess what? The conditions will never be "perfect" for marriage, kids or whatever else. This could ALSO be a man's excuse for one of the above as a cover up. I'm just sayin'. Some men SAY it's money but they are really SCARED of the responsibility of being a husband to ONE woman. BUILD your kingdom together with your woman. Start with a blank canvas.. and save, pay off debt-- do what you have to do. Plus, you can save ALL your money & prepare, prepare, prepare-- and something happens where you LOSE it all. Now what? Are you going to divorce? Of course not! Marriage will COME with it's own struggles. You cannot run when life gets hard-- take it head on. And more than anything.. GOD is your provider. He has your back.

Know your worth. Know that God values you. God provides for you. He's WITH you. He SHOWS you the hearts of all people so that He can lead & guide you to healthy relationships.

And a quick side note: This isn't your chance to run to your person & say.. is it "one of these reasons?!!?"-- because most likely, they won't tell you. This is what you do-- have OPEN & honest communication about the PURPOSE of the relationship. If it DOESN'T have a purpose, YOU shouldnt' be in it. So NO, I will not "date this person for 10 years." Ask God for wisdom if you think the realtionship should end. He most likely has already SHOWN you. Obey Him.

God LOVES you like crazy!

Heather

Join the *Journal Challenge*

I've learned that spending time with God daily will eliminate most of your problems. Does it mean that your problems disappear? Heck no. They will still be there as John 16:33 says "I have told you these things so that in ME you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble! But take heart!! I have overcome the world"-- INSTEAD your perspective is gonna CHANGE. The MORE time you spend with GOD-- the more PEACE, joy, understanding and clarity you will have! Tests are designed to GROW you up-- the issue is, we keep running from them or "going around that mountain" for 40 years and it turns into a temptation. You don't have to accept every test that comes your way. Last year, I went through HELL ( I blogged about it here). 2011 was the worst year of my life. I lost three people close to me due to death. My husband & I stepped out into ministry. We lost a ton of "pretend friends." I had a CHOICE to make last year. God told me to get my tail up & DO what HE was telling me to do!! I continued to press on & tell my emotions to shut up. I KNEW what God called my husband and I to do and I wasn't gonna let no silent season make me THROW away what I KNEW to be true. 
So yeah, the tests came. But you better believe I passed them. I was "tempted" to get weary but I stayed on my face before GOD. I got crazy close to Him during that season. I knew He loved me. I knew that I wasn't "cursed." I knew that I belonged to HIM. I also knew that I needed to GROW up in some areas. ...

Then, 2012 hit. Since DAY 1 God has been OVERWHELMING my husband & I .. with ideas.. visions.. Pinky Promise.. the Oath.. speaking engagements.. crazy open doors.. and most importantly being USED as a vehicle to share Christ. I NEEDED to go through what I went through last year. Being a Christan aint all peaches & roses. So yes, you may go through some hell but don't get mad at the only one who can help you. Are you serious??! Jesus was BEAT & hung on a CROSS. There was nothing pretty about that. So you need to leave that church that tells you if you get TESTED that it's ONLY because of your disobedience. Let's all be clear-- there is a DESTINATION to sin outside of Christ. Along that destination of disobedience is judgement if you continue to ignore God. But.. at any point, you can turn your whole heart to Jesus & stand before HIM brand new, holy, like you've never sinned. (colossians 1:22-23). So, I was living for God.. with all of my heart & got hit up. (like Job's story). GOD wanted my heart through that season and you BETTER believe HE has it. I learned to trust HIM like no other. I needed that season for this season my husband & I are in. I miss my loved ones but you better believe I'm doing what THEY couldn't do here on this earth-- and that's sharing CHRIST. And those "pretend friends"-- a REAL friend, sticks CLOSER than a brother (proverbs 18:24). So am I sweating them? No! I love & forgive them from a  distance but I aint rocking' with them. They were unqualified to join me in this season. It just is.. what it is.

I am a much better Heather after 2011. I carry the SAME joy & the SAME attitude of thankfulness towards Christ. He's my entire life. I'm so thankful for Him. So honored to belong to Him.

I started this journal challenge because I realize that at times, we have a hard time spending time with God daily.  BUT if we had a flight to Hawaii every morning at 5am that was an all expense paid trip.. we would be at the airport on time. We would MAKE time to pack.. & check in on time. Let's make SPENDING time with GOD a priority.

How amazing is it.. that hundreds of us.. will journal & write our "day" that we're on. This aint for show'-- it's us, spending time with God daily & letting Him change us from the inside out. Writing the day on your journal is ONLY for accountability.

So, what will you need?

A Journal! (this is mine! You can get it at my Pinky Promise Store (www.pinkypromisemovement.com)  (I like pretty journals) lol

Notecards! I swear by notecards! I use these often as it does something to your brain as you write down the scriptures. Then, I meditate on them throughout the day. So write out the scriptures longhand-- based on what God places on your heart to study & to meditate on.

Here's an example of how you'll start your journal. I always start mine with "Dear Daddy"-- and be sure to write the CONSISTENT day. The point of this journal challenge is to get you to be consistent in spending time with God daily. So day 1, day 2, day 50, day 56.. etc.

This is my favorite bible. The Life Application Bible- NLT version. I purchased it from a Lifeway Christian store. It's a GREAT study bible that breaks stuff down.

Ok, so now that you have all of the materials-- you may ask-- HOW do I journal?!? What do I say??! As I blogged before with "How to Spend Time With God"  - so be SURE to read that entire blog if you're joining this challenge. But to answer your question-- I look at my journal like my diary to God. I just pour out whats in my heart. I thank Him for being God-- I tell Him I love Him. I tell Him whats going on in my life & my struggles. PRIOR to this-- I put on worship music, sing out to Him & pray (as I said, be sure to read my blog)-- doing those things will help UNCLUTTER your mind from all the stuff going on in your head. I write what God shows me about the scriptures on my journal & whatever else. Remember-- you have to treat your relationship with GOD like a RELATIONSHIP. Except He already knows you.. He created YOU. But He still wants to hear from YOU.  After I write to God.. I just get QUIET. Sometimes, He shares things with me.. sometimes-- I just sit & enjoy His presence & hear nothing.. I just meditate on WHO HE is.

So the challenge starts WHENEVER you read these words. You could be reading this a month after todays date.. but I challenge you to get started in TODAY. Today is day 2  of being consistent for me. I'm excited. Just the time I spent with God today.. was so beautiful, so amazing. I'm thankful for this accountability challenge.

Before I close out.. know that satan is gonna attack you. You'll be sleepy, too busy, or whatever else. Remember that you'll desire WHAT you give your attention too. So shut your phone off, Facebook & the TV. No distractions. 

Let's go!!!!!!

God loves YOU like CRAZY!

Heather Lindsey

"How to Hear God's Voice"

I've heard this question a ton. People hear me talk about God like He's the person sitting right next to me & they look at me.. and say.. soo.. you're saying.. "God.. really talks to you?"

YES. He does. He's my Best Friend, My Creator, My Lord, My Savior, My God, My Life.. My Peace, My JOY, My Provider, My Comforter and A MILLION other things. Since He's all that.. I SHOULD be able to hear His voice right?!

If you look at Other religions.. their "god" -- is dead. So they pray repetitive prayers to the air, hoping & a praying. I don't know about  you but I can't serve no dead "god" that cannot hear me-- saying some repetitive prayer like it's gonna do something. OUR GOD, through Jesus Christ is LIVING, ACTIVE and sitting on the Throne in Heaven while all of heaven is bowing down & worshipping Him.. singing "Holy Holy Holy." THAT is my GOD. He speaks to me, He checks me, He shows me where I'm wrong, He encourages me, He tells me to shut up, He gives me wisdom, He tells me "not to wear that", He tells me "not to buy that"-- He tells me to GIVE, He tells me to pray, He tells me to do this & do that. Our relationship isn't this law-driven saying..ok, I HAVE to do this.. because if I don't He'll hate me. I aint like that. When you really love someone.. you WANT to serve them. For example, with my husband-- I'm not crazy about conflict in general and I don't want to ON-PURPOSE do anything to my husband that will hurt him or cause him harm. If my husband asks me to do something-- I do it because I LOVE him and marriage aint all about ME. I do what God asks of me because it's for my GOOD! He's leading me like He promised in Proverbs 3:5-6.

When I first found out..

I started spending time with God as soon as I got saved in 2003. My best friends sister told me that I'm supposed to spend time with Him daily so in my mind-- I needed to treat it like a new guy. Yes, you read that right. When you have a new little boo-- you think about them all day, call them, text them, spend time with them.. you do what you do.  IF I was REALLY going to get SERIOUS about my relationship with GOD I had to make Him a priority because I had all of the WORLD and my ex-randoms PRESSING in on me. So I went hard. I had date nights, coffee dates, went running, shopped with Him & studied together. I was INTENTIONAL in my date nights-- I talked with Him, asked Him what He thought of the movie we were watching.. you see.. if I was really going to learn Him & make Him my life.. I couldnt' do it.. without being INTIMATE with HIM.

Going to church 1x a week to get FED what another man or woman studied in their quiet time will not give you a relationship with God. HE must become your LIFE. So AS I am having these date nights and spending crazy time with God (studying & reading my bible-- listening to Praise & Worship Music)-- I begin to really practice hearing His voice. I would pray & listen to worship & then I would journal.. I would just write what He put on my heart. His voice.. became LOUDER & louder.. as I spent more & more time with HIM. You aint gonna know somebodies voice if you don't spend time with them.

                                                          The first time..

So do I hear God's voice.. audibly? Well, yes & no. I've only heard His voice audibility about 2 times. One time was in 2007 and I was in Target. I had just finished spending my entire Saturday morning on my face before God & I was checking out at the store. Then I heard a LOUD, booming voice say "Give her $20"-- it SHOOK me because I knew it was God's voice. I was so discombobulated that I almost forgot to pay for my items. The lady looked at me weird as I was searching in my purse for money. So after I paid-- I handed her the money and I said "The Lord told me to give you this"-- and the girls eyes lit up & she dropped to the ground. She said.. you have NO idea how much I needed this with tears in her eyes. I RAN out of there, I didn't need ANY credit because I sure wasnt' going to give her a dime. Not like that-- but it's not everyday you're handing money to cashiers. lol All the glory had to go to the ONE who told me to give it to her.

1. MOST times, I hear God's voice with my inner ear.. or my heart. One would say.. their "gut" or their conscience. Or.. "something' told me to do that."
2.  If you read my tweets and my facebook posts, I often tweet and facebook alot.. it's not like I sit & think of these things. It's in passing as I go throughout my day-- God places the ENTIRE thing on my heart and I just post it. He just tells me in my inner ear or my heart & it pops up in my mind and then I share it with you. (Same with this blog-- that took all of 5-10 minutes to write- He places an area on my heart & I just blog it)
3. I also go with my PEACE. If I'm going to God & I don't have CLARITY on an issue, I just wait quietly & I check my peace. If I HAVE zero peace-- I aint going & I aint' doing it.
4. If I'm not sure, I'll just keep standing & not make a decision until GOD has made it clear to me. I ain't doing nothing outside of HIM. I cannot AFFORD it & NEITHER can YOU.
5. Out of nowhere-- God will start to show me a person's heart. He just drops it in my spirit to stay away from that particular person because they don't have your best interest & they are POISONOUS to your life.
6. God speaks through humans, situations & LIFE in general. If you HIT rock bottom-- it's a good thing. Now you know that this world cannot sustain you-- so now you'll go to the real source of life & get that foundation right. So God speaks through CLOSING DOORS. He also protects you through those closed doors & He opens the right ones.
7. Dont' forget that satan also speaks to you to. Reconize the difference between his voice, God's voice & your emotions. Whenever satan tries to speak to me-- he speaks doubt & unbelief. He suggests that life isn't going to work out.. or this or that isn't going to happen so give up on everything. He's a LIAR & there's NO truth IN HIM. He's the one that suggests stupid things to you all day & it's up to you to TALK back to his lies & keep it moving'. If you don't know God's voice, you may confuse it with satans.. like "God told me that man is gonna be my husband".. but he keeps sleeping with you & everything that moves. Probably not honey.
8. WHEN God speaks.. the FRUIT lines UP. I KNEW my husband was going to be the "one" within 20 minutes of talking to the man-- but over the next year and 8 months I saw the FRUIT of Cornelius being a man after God's own heart. That FRUIT lined up so don't get so wrapped up in what you thought you heard "God" say that you miss what the BIBLE says. So NO, he shouldnt' be SLEEPING with YOU.. even if ya'll "plan to get married"
9. There's also quiet seasons.. where you don't hear a ton from God. I've gone through those. But during those times.. tell your emotions to shut up & KNOW that God is with you. He promises to never leave you or forsake you. GOD is still with you, EVEN if you don't feel like it.
10. When you spend time with God (I blogged about spending time with God here), don't forget to GET QUIET & LISTEN. If you sit & vent all day & then just jump up-- run to the shower & go about your day.. you get all cluttered & God has no room to even respond. LET Him freely respond to you. Set time aside DAILY to hear His voice. So SLOW down after you talk to Him. Give Him a chance to respond. God is ALWAYS speaking.

Cheers to all of you.. spending crazy time with Jesus .. hearing His voice & letting Him lead you. Don't forget that if you "step out" because you thought you heard God's voice & things don't work out.. HE will FIND YOU if you "MISS IT." Just have the right heart & desire to worship HIM with your entire life. And Remember.. the MORE you ignore God's voice.. the more hardened your heart will be to hear Him the next time He speaks.

God loves you like crazy,