Easy Fun Health Tips!

Sooo, if you know me-- I'm a little stalker when it comes to health. I LOVE eating healthy!! I wasn't always this way though. I grew up a sorta-vegetarian because my mother was but my father was a meat eater so I had meat every now and then. I'm naturally pretty slim and I ran track and cross country my whole life.. then I left Michigan and moved to New York. New York City has the best food! So I added about 15 pounds within the first couple years. In 2005, I decided to go an entire month with no breads, sugars, white foods, soda, fast food, ONLY water, no fried foods & no dairy.

I lost about 15 pounds! I was shocked! Not only that-- my taste buds changed. I hated fast food or anything unhealthy. My journey began towards eating better and being more conscious about what I ate. Mind you, if you want to eat healthy-- and you start cutting food out of your diet- your BODY will crave it. It will get mad at you. Seriously. Our bodies are so spoiled sometimes. You pretty much have to tell your body to shut up & do what you have to do. I wanted to share the tips that I've learned to push you towards eating better. It's GREAT to have a super cool relationship with Jesus-- that's our priority. But within that, He will start convicting & showing you what foods you shouldn't eat. FOOD is linked to so many diseases and aging QUICKLY. God of course is our Healer, but stop stuffing your face with butter and sugar for 30 years and then look up and ask Him "why me, Lord" at 50 and wonder why you're sick with clogged arteries. There's things that I'm AVOIDING in the future due to my healthy eating habits and I feel better, have more energy, I age slower, I am happier AND I get to spread the love to my hubby and one-day children. I've introduced my hubby to vitamins, a ton  of different alternatives to food. He's a southern man so he's used to fried everything! I won't have that in my household! :) ".. with LONG life does God satisfy us and show us His salvation" - Psalms 91:16. WE have a part to play. YOU are responsible for what you eat. Period.

Also, I'm not a nutritionist. That's not what God called me to do-- but I've taken YEARS and studied this stuff. I don't know it all--but I know what works for me. I encourage you to do the same!

Lets get started!
1. I LOVEEEEEEE my green smoothie! There's a ton of "green smoothie" books and menus out there. I swear by the one that I experimented & put together. Gives me a ton of energy. I also swear by Kimberly Synders' "Beauty Detox Solution" book. It's filled with knowledge on eating better. I don't agree with her lack of relationship with Christ-- but I do agree with her points about eating healthy--she knows her stuff. I blogged about how to make my green smoothie here. I drink it every morning and it gives me a ton of energy! So YES, swamp this for your daily coffee. :) Google.. "why is coffee so horrible for me"--and you'll see why!

2. You have got to take your vitamins. I also blogged about them here-- they are my favorites!

3. Skip out on the table salt! It's horrible for you! Salt makes your body hold on to water. If you eat too much salt, the extra water stored in your body raises your blood pressure. So, the more salt you eat, the higher your blood pressure. The higher your blood pressure, the greater the strain on your heart, arteries, kidneys and brain. This can lead to heart attacks, strokes, dementia and kidney disease. So drop your Lawry's salt and pick up Himalayan Salt or Celtic Salt. They are my favs! I found it at Fresh Market & Whole Foods!

4. NO MORE FAST FOOD! Fast food is very tempting to people because of its convenience. It’s so easy to swing through the drive thru on your way home from work, starving, and order a super size extra value meal for yourself, spouse, and kids. The food is fairly cheap and you usually won’t spend more than five minutes in line. But guess what..fast food companies are profiting off of clogging your arteries resulting in heart disease!! The food lacks in nutrition to the point where your body cannot even identify with it and it's so packed with the high sugar & fat content. Another problem with the foods you are served at fast food restaurants is that these foods are not nutritious. The foods that you are served at fast food restaurants are high in fat and high in sugar. So every time you go through the fast food line, remember that you're basically poisoning your body. There are even some studies that have shown fast food may be addictive. The high levels of salt and sugar content found in most fast food items cause the brain to seek them out. It's packed with hormones (thus, why our kids our developing at 9) and it slows down brain function. So RUN from fast food. Pinky Promise.



5. Skip the soy sauce-- pick up Braggs Liquid Amino Acid! Its great to season fish, a salad, rice or anything that you want to taste "salty." Amino acids are important for your health! Your body requires them for proper functioning! There are 20 standard amino acids that are required by our body - 12 of these are non-essential and 8 are essential. I'm not going to get super technical ( I really do love this stuff & I don't want to bore you) but you can find amino acids in meat, poultry, eggs, dairy products, and some plants, or through liquid amino acid supplements. I don't eat meat & don't recommend it as it's hard for your body to digest & ages you, but-- do what you do! :)) The Liquid Amino Acid not only tastes yummy on my baked veggies, but it boosts my energy & attention, builds protein inside my body and lowers blood pressure!

6. RUN from soda. RUN! They are packed with SUGAR (even the diet ones) and they raise your blood sugar levels to dangerous highs when you drink it! Plus, if you're trying to shed weight in that belly area.. the blood sugar levels has a side effect that causes your body to store the excess sugar as fat..in cells located in your belly. So stop doing 50 abs everyday if you're going to keep drinking soda!

7. Have a sweet tooth? My favorites are juicing an apple, pear, carrots and celery! It takes care of my sweet tooth right away or I'll eat a sweet apple, like a Fuji apple! I love the Juice man juicer at Target! It's like $70 and works like a dream. Stop running for the chocolate folks. You will CRAVE what you give your body.

8. Skip the farm raised salmon and opt for the wild salmon! Farm raised salmon has a ton of pesticides and many more toxins (PCBs, dioxin, etc.) than wild salmon. The study recommends that farm raised salmon should be eaten once every two months as they pose cancer risks to the human beings. Yeah, it cost a little bit more, but cancer treatments costs alot more. Jus sayin'.

9. Don't MISCOMBINE foods! Wonder why you're SOO sleepy after you eat that huge meal at your mama's house on Sunday afternoon? This is the issue-- your body only has so many precious enzymes that are used to help break down your food and get the most energy & nutrition. Different enzymes are used to digest different types of food. They interfere with each other if they're released at the same time. So, what happens? The undigested food basically ferments in  your body.. causing weight gain, constipation, gas, heartburn, bloating and other symptoms! So how do you know if you're miscombining? Don't eat a starch with a animal protein. Yes, so no mashed potatoes and steak anymore. Eat your steak with a salad on some veggies. If you're going to eat spaghetti, don't eat it with meat.. eat it with veggies. It's TAKING your body too long to digest both. Don't eat the bread that comes to the table at a restaurant if you are planning on eating meat for your meal. A book I love on Miscombining foods: Proper Food Combining Works: A Living Testimony by Lee DuBelle.

10. Don't drink water during your meals. It waters down those enzymes we talked about above and it makes your body do extra work to digest your food. Drink water 30 minutes before your meal and 20 minutes after. If you want to help wash it down.. sip, dont' gulp water. And NO SODA OR grocery store bought juices. They are packed with sugars.

11. Drink warm lemon water every morning. This aids in digestion and helps detox your body! There's SO many benefits from drinking warm (not hot) lemon water first thing in the morning. I encourage you to do your research.

12. Eat a salad before a meal & don't pour dressing all over it. Squeeze some fresh lemon and a little bit of your Celtic salt. It does WONDERS in seasoning it. Eating a salad FILLS you up before your actual meal and you won't eat as much. I also love raw sauerkraut! Get it from your local food store or co-op! Our natural food store makes it themselves! Raw Sauerkraut is a wonderful proboitic and it builds your immune system!

13. CHEW SLOWLY. If you stuff your face, you'll eat more. Try to chew at least 20 times before swallowing-- you'll get fuller quicker.

14. WORK OUT.  Granted, you can lose crazy weight eating healthy but I highly recommend finding a workout program that works for YOU. Whether it be P90x, Insanity, Zumba, running, or whatever the case! Find someone who will work out with you and keep each other accountable!

15. No more emotional eating. Having a rough day &  you grab some Doritos?! Instead, don't even BUY certain foods anymore. If they aren't in the house-- you won't crave them! I refuse to buy ice cream and sweets. I keep nuts, avocado and popcorn around to snack on! GET to the root of those emotions and stop running to food every time you have a moment-- run to Christ instead.

16. (Bonus number)-- NO CANNED ANYTHING. Especially meat! That animal was killed about a year ago, then processed and put in a can. Let's all be clear. Buy some meat from Whole foods-- put it in the fridge for a week and don’t eat it. It stinks right? Now, imagine ALL of the non-nutritional processed ingredients they are putting in the can to keep your meat so you can eat it. Meat is supposed to be refrigerated. RUN from canned anything and be sure to shop in the outside aisles-- not frozen sections or middle aisles! This also goes for frozen dinners. RUN from them. YOU must make time for your health & eating better. Plan ahead. Do what you  have to do.

So these are just some fun tips to get started. Don't make the excuse that you don't know how to cook when there's a TON of recipes online. You won't learn to cook healthy until you START. YOU have to start somewhere! Don't let another year go by eating the same! Change it now! Stop running to the tums or the heartburn medicine & get to the root of it! God will help you & grace you once you finally decide to stop reaching for the soda and pizza. STOP praying the weight away & start doing something about it. Let's all get together & do better. Starting.... now!


God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"How I KNEW my husband was the "One"

How did I know that Cornelius was the one I was supposed to marry?

(us on our wedding day, about 5 minutes before our first kiss! ;-)

As you all know, my single life wasn't the prettiest picture. I was a hot-mess to say the least. (I blogged about my single life here) I struggled by jumping from relationship to relationships on a crazy search to be whole. It was SO hard for me for a LONG time. THEN, I got SICK & tired of being SICK & tired. And I broke up with my then boyfriend in March 2008. Then, I felt like a email blast went out & all these guys kept asking me out. I knew it was a distraction. So I turned down a ton of good "christian" guys--I had NO peace about those guys. I just knew that they weren't it. I knew that I had a call on my life to go into Ministry--there was no question and whoever I married needed to have the same vision. And it wasn't enough for them to just "SAY" it-- I needed to be able to watch their relationship with Jesus myself & see some stuff' working. You cannot perpetrate the Holy Spirit. I knew HIM-- I KNEW when He was really active & moving in somebodies life and I knew when one was giving lip service. When you're that close to someone, you can SEE their life. Even in their weakness--what do they do with them? Do they turn to the world for comfort or allow God to strip them EVEN more so that they can be made into the image of Christ???

My husband WALKED by me for three years straight at church. We were in meetings together for years, saw each other from a distance, said hello every now and then and even at one point-- I walked into a room and it was just him and one other person in the room-- and I left the room and thought... (this was 2007) "I bet Cornelius is going to ask that guy for my phone number"-- but he never did! I wasn't LOOKING for him to ask for my phone number, at that time-- I was very confident in my little self! haha! I was thinking "I can have whoever I want, because I'm fly." Hey, it's a stretch from how I used to think so whatever. :) I never thought about it again after that moment as I'm sure I had a little boyfriend at that time.

On January 4th, 2009 after church we started talking for the first time about the church fast that was coming up. I asked him if we could eat honey or soy milk. So then, he said answered and said, "I'm going to put a cow in the ground & grow it"-- (the fast was food from a seed in the ground only). So, YES-- Cornelius started flirting with me on the low! Then he started to ask me about New York (he lived in Atlanta)  and how hard it is to get around especially if you have a ton of  bags from grocery shopping. Then he asked me who "helps me with my bags" (2nd time trying to find out if I have a man lol)-- I told him that I carry my bags, take a cab or I use a NYC cart.

I entertained CORNELIUS for the first time in almost a year because there was something different about him. During that time where I finally got single, I started really getting on my FACE daily before God. I went on dates with Him, talked to Him about EVERYTHING-- would spend weekends with a jug of water and my bible & just spent crazy time with Him. Note that even while I was dating randoms, I was doing this as well.  Spending time with God is crazy vital. So important for your spiritual growth. HOW do you trust someone you DON'T know!? I blogged about it Spending Time with God, be sure to read it.

I had an OVERWHELMING sense of peace when I met my husband. Its like God was like FINALLY. I've been able to connect them both when they're both finally single. Let's all be clear-- I wasnt' ready those 3 years prior when I saw him. I was READY on 1/4/09. Period. Does that mean that I was "perfect" or I had "arrived" in wholeness? Heck no. I HAD a ton and I still HAVE a ton of things to work on. On Christmas day, 2008-- I was surrounded by my family and one of my sisters was like, :when are you going to start having some babies!? Your clock is tickin' (I was 26)-- I told her, "shouldn't I be married first?! I wont' have no babies with some random. When I meet a man that is FIT to be my husband and raise this next generation-- is when I'll have some kids. So as soon as I know, I'm sure you will too. Until then, I'm content in Christ. HE is all I need." Later that day, I was spending time with God and I cried out to Him.. .I said, "Lord, YOU are all I need"-- I'm SO happy and so content in You. If I'm single for another 10 years, I don't care-- YOU are all I want. YOU are all I need." Then, He told me that I was going to get married at 27. I was shocked! I was like, well, if I'm going to be married at 27, you need to bring homeboy soon because I have NO prospects. Not ONE. You told me to cut them all off and it's just me & You. So, work it out Lord..

10 days later, I met my now husband. 1 year and 8 months later and 1 month before my 28th birthday.. I married my hubby.

1. First, I finally had peace. Most guys I dated, God didn't like for us to be together-- even when I would ignore my little peace and try to make it work.

2. He refused to kiss me until our wedding day. The bible says to "Flee Fornication" for a reason. "Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body."- 1 Cor 6:18. So if homebody keeps on pressuring me to sin against my body, he clearly doesnt' love GOD or me. Jus sayin'. He SET & kept those boundaries. He did everything he could to protect me, my integrity and most importantly, honor God.

3. His vision lined up with what GOD already TOLD me. I knew in 2005 that I was called to preach and share Christ to this hurting world. Sorry, I wasn't marryin' no rapper. Yeah, he could change-- but I didn't want to wait 40 years for him to come around & change. I needed to see the guy I was supposed to marry actively pursing God RIGHT now.

4. I kept getting better in the relationship. Cornelius wasn't a stumbling block for me. He was REALLY concerned that I had a relationship with Jesus alone that was not founded in my EMOTIONS. He refused to let me depend on Him and He ALWAYS pushed me towards Christ.

5. God was ALL up in my quiet time pressing me to pray for Him & build Him up and God always encouraged me to love Him. GOD was giving me CONSTANT instruction with Cornelius. It was pretty cool. One day I was mad at Cornelius and the Lord told me-- "Why don't you ask me how to deal with Cornelius? I created Him, I can show you how he works."  .. oh you're right God. lol

6. He shut me down. I don't care how you flip it-- most women like discipline from a man in the sense that THEY are leading the relationship. I was confident that Cornelius knew where he was going and he didn't need me to lead the relationship due to his confusion. I have a STRONG personality and I needed someone to tell me no. In the past, I manipulated guys so it was nice to get called out. So, Cornelius is a LEADER. I didn't want to ask my guy my whole life.. where are we going & take his little leader reins.

7. When he said something, he would do it. Guys, you gotta keep your word. How can I believe in you if you don't believe in you or what you say?

8. I was attracted to him. I had to put this in-- sometimes, we think we have to marry someone we aren't attracted to because we think that he's it. Once, I dated this guy that I wasn't 100% attracted to and I struggled with it and thought I had to marry him because he was one of the first Christan guys I dated after I got saved. I didn't know there were cute Christians. Jus sayin'. I wanna LIKE looking at him for the rest of my life. Yeah, stuff can happen but one of my desires was to be attracted to my guy. NOT the main desire, but one of them.

9. He was growing. While we courted, he was willing to ADJUST and change. I knew that when things would come our way, He would man up, admit his mistakes & CHANGE. He wasn't trying to hold on to his old ways. He wanted to be better and was willing to adjust. AND he let ME grow. He wasn't all hard on me-- pressuring me to be some doctor or lawyer because it looked good. He let me grow UP from all of my weaknesses & issues. He HELPED me & was patient with me.

10. With all of that said, he really loved Jesus. It encouraged me. Jobs can come and go, money can leave, looks can fade but if that man really, I mean really loves Jesus and wants to live for Him-- NOTHING is impossible. My spirit was so excited about every aspect of Cornelius. I was never NOT at peace with him. I wanted so many things in a man and I never thought I would meet someone with my desires. God exceeded my expectations and my husband MEASURED up. Yours will too.

11. (Bonus number) I RESPECTED HIM alot because of the above. Don't marry someone you don't respect or look up to.



Remember this is no formula. I am just sharing what was important to ME. Let God lead you every second of the way. And if that guy or girl hasn't come.. they aren't supposed to. Keep your eyes in  your own grass and focus on GOD & working with your portion. Let GOD be your matchmaker.

God loves you like crazy,
Heather

"How to Recognize a REAL Friend"

Me & my two very best friends.

Throughout this blog, you'll see some pictures of some of my closest friends--although it's not ALL of them, I just wanted to share with you that I've been through SO much from real friends to pretend friends. I have a few best friends. Out of them, there are two of them that I have been best friends with since I was 17 years old--and that's Delan and Noel. I've been friends with them for the past 12 years. THEY have proven to me that IN season and OUT of season they will ALWAYS be there. THEY know all my business and they grow, change, support & SHOW up & out for me. We make time for each other, we travel on girls trips together. We encourage one other. We agree with each other for Gods best. I cannot give them the title of "Best Friend" unless we GO through some stuff together. We've argued, disagreed, agreed to disagree, confronted & everything else. Through every season, they were there. I can CALL them my best friend because they've paid the price for the friendship as I have for them. I cannot slap that name on a "random"--a random in a friendship term is identified as someone that doesn't make you better--but worse.

                           

Me & my best friend, Delan after she landed in NYC to visit me when I lived there in 2007! I met her in when I was 17. She invited me to church with her & its there where I gave my whole heart to Jesus. Together, we've been obsessed with Jesus since.

 Me & My Noel in 2011 in Jamaica! Noel is such a beautiful person--inside out. I've known her for 12 years as well. SHE is so filled with wisdom & is another Christian after God's own heart.
                               

Ok, so lets get into this..

Friends. So many of us "have" a TON of them. We have all of our "friends" on facebook, the people we meet in passing that we deem "bff" right after we meet them.. but lets all be honest & not get it twisted "There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.- Proverbs 18:24. I think its interesting that the NLT translations puts "friends" in quotations. It's almost as if its saying--they aint' ya friend. Stop expecting friendship like actions for those that claim that they "love you"--LOVE is a VERB. In a friend, their should be some love-like-actions following it. If they were supposed to rock with you--they will never LEAVE you.

And your mind may be going as you think about a friend that you are no longer cool with--as you shake your head yes & agree with me. But I ask you..what type of friend are YOU? It's easy to talk about somebody else's grass without looking at your OWN. ARE you a good friend? Do you gossip about your friends? Do you PRAY for them & cry out to them? Do you grieve with them when they grieve & CRY with them when they cry??? What is really good?



Growing up--I always thought that everyone was supposed to be my friend. I would give them 100% chance to prove themselves. Thank God for the Holy Spirit who reveals peoples hearts to me now. After a TON of "friendships" that went sour, I realized that God places special people around me so I can help them & they can help me to accomplish the very perfect will of God for our lives. Those friends don't suck all of my energy & drain me. They built me up. THEY make me better daily. I pray that I'm the same for them.

(snorkeling in Cayman Islands with Delan & Noel!)

How to recognize a good friend:

1. They #1--push you towards Christ. They aren't pressuring you to drink, go to clubs, have sex, stay the night with randoms or your little boyfriend or girlfriend, they don't push drugs, stealing or lying on you.

2. They are accountable to you. They call you out when you're wrong but still LOVE & support you back into the will of God for your life.

3. They don't always take everybody elses side, especially in a marriage or a God-ordained relationship. They listen & tell you the other side of things. In my own life, when life would get hard I used to book a vacation & run to an island for a weekend. When I started courting with Cornelius, if we got in a fight--I would do the same thing. My best friend told me that I cannot keep running from my issues & I must finally confront those areas & change. They help you see PERSPECTIVE.

(adore her, me & my Jules in Dubai)

4. They get on their FACE for you. A friend of mine was going through tests & after I encouraged her on the phone & prayed with her--I hung up and cried and cried out to God for her. I got on my face as if it was ME.  A friend WANTS what you want for your life as if it was themselves. I felt the pain that she was going through and I hated sin & I hated those attacks but I knew that God was greater than it all. You're prayers cannot be all about YOU. So what's your motive for your friendships? Make sure it's to GIVE the advantage & not take it.

5. They consider you & stick up for you. I wish someone would try to talk about one of my friends in front of me. I'm going to confront the situation in a loving way. YOUR mouth should never be on anybody elses business unless you have a solution and you'll pick up the phone and call that person.

A real friend isn't a "yes or no ma'am." How do you expect to grow if they only
tell you what you wanna hear! A real friend REFRESHES & energizes you. You feel lighter, better & happier when you're around them. They are a breath of fresh air.

7. Friendship is a 2-way street. Are you the only one calling, emailing, texting, tweeting and facebooking your friend?? Ok--they may not be the best at communication but THEY should make the effort to return your calls. One of my best friends isn't the best with the phone but due to us living in separate states--we refuse to let a few days go by without talking to each other. You do what you gotta do.

8. A real friend, rocks with you in every season. You got married? Moved? Went to School? A real friend is RIGHT there with you, encouraging you with bells on. Planning your wedding activities, helping you move in, being resourceful--whatever the case. They don't stop calling you because dinner with you is no longer "convenient."  They don't make your wedding all about THEM--getting mad at you because of your bridesmaid dress option or being secretly jealous because they wish THEY were getting married.

9. They speak LIFE. Lets be real. A real friend doesn't bash you when you're not around. THEY SPEAK life into you & speak life when you're not around. If a rumor gets swirling about you--do they add to it to get others to like them or to "fit in"--or do they call whoever out or walk away? EVEN if they don't agree with your lifestyle--they let it be known to you in a loving way--and then they shut up & stop nagging you every five minutes. If you are dressing like a hot mess--they encourage you to dress classy

10. They don't FLIRT with your MAN or woman OR try to date them after ya'll break up. Don't do that. It's messy. If you really want attention, go spend time with Jesus. There's 7 billion people on this earth & His eyes are on YOU. He'll give you all the attention you need. Stop tryin' to get it from somebody elses man or woman. Jus sayin'.

 So when you go through things, tests, trials, moves, marriage, divorces, deaths.. will YOUR friends rock with you or will they run off & talk about you?! SO it's time to do a friend check. Your friendships should be BRIDGES & not ditches.

                          (me & noey, sad that we're leaving each other in Miami)

Before we leave--a couple questions are on my heart to answer:
1. How can I forgive a friend that hurt me?
Answer: PEOPLE are gonna hurt you. It happens. Its important that WE forgive people so that GOD can forgive us. "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matt 6:14-15). Forgiveness is for YOU. Release yourself from them. And just because you forgive them doesn't mean you need to run & get a future with them. Let the Holy Spirit lead you in & out of your relationships. God closes some doors that don't need to be opened. So yes, forgive them. THEN seek God IF you should continue a relationship with them.

2. I'm saved now, but my old friends aren't so do I still hang out with them? I'm torn when I'm around them.
Answer: Let's be honest, its easier to pull you off of the chair then it is to pull you onto the chair. When you first get saved you may need to separate yourself from them for a season so God can strengthen you to HELP them. If you are going to be around them--YOU control the environment. For example, invite them to church with you or to a Christian's friends house. They may not go right away but after they see the CHANGE in you--they may be more open to God.  YOU may be the only bible those people read so be a light. Live differently.

3. How do I know if my friends are real? I'm torn about new friendships!
Answer: Ask GOD to show you the hearts of the people around you. If God rips away your peace regarding a person--it aint personal. Obey HIM first. If you aren't clear--TIME will tell.

4. I don't have many friends that are saved. What do I do?
Answer: God has set you apart for a season. At times, we can get so dependent on friendships that we run to our cell phones instead of God. A friend is wonderful but that relationship should always be put into perspective. THEY ain't God--no matter how much wisdom they have. Just show yourself friendly & reach out to others! Get involved as God leads you at your local church. GIVE the advantage & if people hurt you in the past--let God heal you & stop charging everyone.
                                                                  
In discussing friendships, I started making "BFF" bracelets for my best friends, so I figured now would be a good time to introduce them to you. "No Randoms" covers not having random relationships & friendships. BFF just says, that my friends are real, COVENANT relationships and I GIVE my friend the advantage, I don't take it. I pray for my friends, love them, support them & encourage them. I Pinky Promise.

Shipping is free for the second bracelet for a limited time. You can order them here! www.pinkypromisemovement.com


God Loves you like CRAZY,

Heather Lindsey

Me & my lovely. My niece & one of my closest friends, Danielle! I adore her!

"10 Wrong Reasons To Get Married"

(me on my wedding day, marrying Gods best. IT was WORTH the wait!)

This is an area that so many of my ladies struggle with INCLUDING myself. I was actually scared of marriage for awhile because I knew that I had to submit to my one-day husband & I had a hard time meeting guys that I felt were WORTH submitting to 100%. So, take a peek inside of my journal really quick & lets get started.

My journal
Nov 13 2008

Me: Ughh I would of totally been married by now if my ex had it together
God: you would of totally been out of the will of God for your life.

**When God told me that, I laughed-- it's so like Him to correct me & my little discontentment. I'm thankful that He shut certain doors on relationships because NOW I see that my marriage was MORE than just legal sex. It has PURPOSE. My husband and I are taking on 10,000 & we have a MINISTRY of helping others, especially in the areas of dating, courting & relationships. Would I of had this in other relationships? Probably not. We sure wasn't waiting to kiss until our wedding day. Jus sayin'.
(side note: My hubby & I connected after he walked by me for 3 years at church.. on Jan 3 2009..about 2 months after the above! :) )

So, my first first message I preached was 10 wrong reasons to get married.. I decided to blog them as well. :) You can check out the message after you read the top reasons-- of course I elaborated on when I preached, so it's worth checking out if you found yourself in any of these places.

Wrong reasons to get married..

1. Your lonely.. and you've jumped from relationship to relationship or friend to friend, job to job.. to fulfill some type of inner void that only can be filled by God. Not sure if your lonely? Spend a week by yourself and listen to what comes out of you when your all alone.. I did this when I was single & was SCARED of myself. I was so empty & SO lonely at one point.
Void Fillers Examples: shopping, man, jobs, food, exercise or whatever else you depend on when you're feeling emotional. Whenever I would get lonely as a single woman, I knew that it was God calling me back to a closer relationship with HIM. He wanted my heart & I wanted to give my heart to randoms.

2. Fear of being alone- - You can't leave yourself, so you may as well get to know you!! You won't go out to the movies alone or to a really nice restaurant with Jesus and your bible. Be free! Learn to enjoy YOURSELF! What happens is..when you get married, you put that responsibility on that man and your issue is to big for him to handle, and he's not equipped to take on the cares of you! That's why Jesus lived, died and rose for you!

3. Depression- You better get in the only One that can remove those negative emotions! Recognize that wrong thinking is weighing you down and get away from those negative words that are determining your thinking. Stop using band aids to cover up all your emotional issues! I'm very honest with God when I say.. You know what, I'm needy, hot-mess.. I'm a desperate woman and I need your help in this area, and that area. I sure cannot do it without you and YOU said if I lack wisdom in any area, u would give it to me if I asked in faith (James 1) . So I thank you for being my Jehovah Shalom! YOU are my peace!
SO get honest with God about WHERE you are. Confessing it reveals it & GOD heals it.

4. You got prego out of wedlock.. and then ran and had a shotgun wedding..and said "WOW.. I got prego so fast.." lying..but that baby was already there! Then after you have that child those same feelings come back that you that had about that person you were dating. You weren't READY to get married!
Getting to the root of this is important. Its like opening up 6pk of oreo's. You eat one, and say you're only going to eat one, but then you have another, then you're watching tv and you smash the whole pack.. With sexual immorality- its the same thing!! Kissin leads to tongue kissing.. Which leads to rubbin' layin'.. Tryin' and lasciviousness or an inability to stop! We can't take old poisoned ways of thinking and bring it into our new relationships!!
Then you rationalize, like he loves me, I'm the only one he's doing it with- plus we repent and take communion afterward. Then you end up back in the bed!!! If you KEEP doing the same' thing--you'll get the SAME results. Take your tail HOME. As Christians, we must set boundaries and stick to them! One foot in the world and one foot in the kingdom is cancelling each other out which leaves you... In the same position! Then, you end up preggers. Don't let a growing belly make you think that you have to make emotional life-time decision.

5. Desperation- You are getting older and want to have kids so you settle for some Ishmael that's sorta-saved.. You better WAIT and cast down those thoughts that are contrary to the word by speaking the word over your life! You'll end up either super unhappy, trying to control & change your guy or divorced, hurt & hardended towards God.. but HE is the one who told you not to marry the random in the first place.. Give your hurts to Jesus. Let Him heal you. Don't turn from the only ONE that can make you WHOLE.

6. Insecurity- These issues will rise up in your marriage.. whatever you DON'T deal with now will amplify 100x in your marriage. Checkin' his phone?? You don't trust him!! Why are you with him? That little seed of checkin homies phone is gonna grow if you don't get to the root of it! Stop cutting off the blade of every situation!! Get deeper! Is it that you're carrying baggage from past relationships?? That other man hurt you so now you wanna be controlling so the next one won't.. Or you really don't think he's "like" that, but you still check his phone anyway, just in case. The question is.. What are you bringing to the table??! Besides some cute shoes and a good weave?!! Pass the tests on the inside of you and the fruit will come! The last thing a man wants, married or unmarried is a insecure woman! Know who you are in Christ! Receive the right standing He gave you when he died for you!

7. Money- He has money and you want someone to come and save you like superman.. and wipe out all of your debt. Why don't you get honest about yourself and your finances and tell God you need HELP in that area?! Do the natural and stop spending money on DUMB stuff! Statistic's show that 50% of marriages don't last with Money being one of the main reasons for divorce. Money is temporary. That's why God tells us to keep our eyes on HIM alone & on heavenly things.

8. You're a mama's or daddy's girl and you're used to people taking care of you.. so you want your man to be your daddy but after that person nags you all day, then taps on your shoulder at night for sex.. you don't want to have sex with a father figure! yuck! A man can look into your eyes and tell that you're NEEDY and that taking you on is a full responsibility.

9. Because YOU are burning with passion for some sex. You better deal with that spirit of lust before you get married because it'll creep back up during your marriage. Yeah, Paul said if you cannot contain yourself to marry.. but if you flip back to Malachi 2:16 it says that God hates divorce.. so if you're going to get married you better make sure that Jesus is all up in it. If you got divorced, don't beat yourself down-- move on & live for Christ like it's your last breath.
10. You aren't whole and you want someone to make you feel better about you. God can truly fulfill of your desires! He can do it so much better than you!

With all of THAT being said..
If you found yourself in the above.. don't beat yourself down. Evaluate your heart. WHY do you do what you do? If you say you love God, your life will show. Let your focus to be to LOVE God with your heart. If that's your primary focus.. you wont' have to worry about ANY of the above. God's GRACE is sufficient. TRUST HIM.
God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

We JUST broke up. Now what?!

IT'S OVER!

So.. the relationship finally came to an end. Your heart is broken, you're sad, frustrated and you did everything you knew to make the size 9 shoe fit into a size 6. So WHAT do you do now??! You may have broken up yesterday.. 6 months ago.. or 3 years ago but it still hurts DEEPLY.

I have BEEN there. It's not a happy feeling. Even if you know that "random" wasn't God's best for your life. So, hear me out for a few minutes through that empty feeling.

1. First question is the most important question. If you don't have this question settled, the others will mean NOTHING. Let's all be clear. So my question is-- "Are you a Christian?" This question is important because when you prayin' I want to make sure you're praying and getting your strength from the ONE & only Living God. Jesus died on the cross to heal our broken hearts and all of our pains and worries. (The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit- Psalms 34:18). So if you dont' have a relationship with Jesus, NOW is the time to get one. And don't feel bad-- if you read my other blog on my single life a BAD relationship is what brought me to Christ. I HIT rock bottom-- hardcore & felt like I had no purpose and had no value. I wanted so bad to fill that empty void in my heart with humans that could only be filled by Christ. So I can sit here & tell you to "Confess with your mouth & believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross and you will be saved (Romans 10:9) AND this is true-- AND the believing in your heart will be demonstrated in your LIFESTYLE. So, give your heart to Jesus-- find a church that teaches the word correctly (not all that screaming, hollering or twisting of the scriptures), get a journal, spend time with God daily, (I just linked my blog on spending time with God) go on dates with Him, Learn Him-- then OBEY Him. Remember, that Jesus is your source for EVERYTHING. Filling your God-sized void with some other religion, purse or human aint gonna help you.

Ok..now that we're clear on that one.

2.  YOU HAVE TO GUARD YOUR HEART!!!!!!
(Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.- Proverbs 4:23)

If I could scream this from the rooftop--I would. After you have a breakup that you know wasn't God's best for your life--you've got to go get some GATES and surround them around your heart. If you're STRUGGLING with getting over him or her-- you dont' need to WATCH their life via facebook and twitter. Block them, delete them, change your phone number, remove them from skype, facetime or whatever else may tempt you to reach out to them. If you want to keep them around--you just don't want it bad enough. You still may have an inkling of hope that you guys will get back together. And you know what--you may? But that CANNOT be your focus. Your focus must always be CHRIST alone!! If God wants ya'll together, HE will press it so hard on your heart--you will feel like you're DISOBEYING Him by not working things out with that person. (Ya'll married folk understand). Give his or her clothes to a friend and have your friend give them to him or her. Don't try to pick up the phone & meet up, for what?! That's just going to allow more opportunities for .. additional unnecessary conversation. What a emotional waste. So if you're hanging out in the same groups-- pull BACK. After breaking off a really hard relationship when I was single--I had to NOT go out in groups for about 6 months to a year because I knew my ex would be there. At that time, I wasn't over him & we attended the same church. I was WORKING on something and I NEEDED to get whole.

3. Ok, we've settled that Jesus is Lord of our life.. and we're guarding our hearts. Now what? Now- YOU have to make sure that you're spending time with God daily. If you're not renewing your mind daily, you're going to end up with a new random. Different guy, same issue. Ephesians 4:23 tells us to "Be constantly renewed in the Spirit of your mind (having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude)." Remember that your emotions are very VURNABLE right now. You don't want to just rush into a new relationship. I used to do this too.. for YEARS. I can tell you, I ended up building my relationships on a foundation of more hurt.. and when the winds blew & the rain came (tests & trials of life)--it blew my little relationships down.. and more hurt built up.

4. STOP listening to that sad story music & certain TV shows. If a certain song brings some bad memories to your heart.. no matter HOW beautiful the singer can sing.. shut it down!! I remember I used to despise this one song that was me & my "exes" song while we dated. So when it came on.. I turned it, threw away the CD and I deleted it from my computer. I fought back. YOU have to as well.

5. Don't hang out with the messy friends. Yes. This is really important. It's important because YOU don't need any thing but LIFE spoken into your heart. So if she's talking about "getting" that guy because he got some money, or lets go to the club to get some ballers" or for men- if they wanna go "go to the strip club to get your mind off things"-- THEY shouldn't be your FRIEND. A FRIEND PUSHES YOU TOWARDS CHRIST NOT AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't care how long ya'll been friends.

6. As I said before, this time is very delicate. Satan is after your mindset. If he knows that he can have your mindset all messed up he can get you out of the way and you'll be ineffective for Christ. Write up some confessions. Look up scriptures on Trusting God & your Mindset. Just google them. You'll find a ton. Meditate on them, write them on note-cards. Study 2 Corinthians 10:5. Capture those stupid thoughts & make them obey Christ.

7. What about his or her family? Ok, so you broke up with him/her but you're close with their family? Well, you're working on something. Explain to them that you need some space and that YOU connect them to HIM/HER, no matter how you flip it. Guard your heart.

8. Speak life. Don't go bashing him or her. You thought they were all that at some point. No blame gaming. Let God seek revenge. You don't need to. GOD is clear--  “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” Hebrews 10:30. SHUT that pride down that feels like it has to defend itself.

9. No shopping sprees or any HUGE decision. Whenever we break things off we want to do something dramatic like cut our hair or move to another state. NEVER make a big decision when your emotions are on a high like that. Make sure you're being God-led. Yourn geographic location is IMPORTANT.

10. Finally, no after-friends with benefits sex. Yeah, I had to put this in there. Even though you're a Christian and all that-- I know. I've talked about this before.. Oxytocin is a BONDING hormone that will CONTINUE to bond you to an unhealthy relationship & additional soul & physical ties!! So if you wonder why you cannot get over them, it's because you keep bonding yourself to them. THIS hormone is supposed to be released in a God-centered marriage. NOT with a random that bonds himself to anyone with a booty. So, LOVE yourself enough to say NO & STOP!!!!!!!! It's not worth it! Your body is NOT YOURS! It belongs to CHRIST!! You're just a manager! And if you keep having sex with him to get him to stay with you--let me tell you the truth, he's having sex with other chicks too and they think the same thing. He sure can't marry all of ya'll. Be free. And I pray right now that in the name of Jesus that EVERY soul and physical tie is BROKEN right now.

So dont' go back.

God loves you like CRAZY and has someone GREAT for you.

Will you get alone long enough for Him to show you or will you run to another boyfriend or girlfriend when He tries to show Himself to you?

Be whole.

Heather Lindsey

Rough Day?

So one day, I was having a ROUGH day and my hubby gave me this to meditate on. I want to share it with you. I started to say it under my breath.. and peace rolled over me.

Psalm 22:3 says that He inhabits the praise of His people. When we praise the Lord, He is in our midst. PRAISE Him right out of your bad attitudes & rough day. Let HIS peace overwhelm you.

God is so faithful to us. Trust Him.

He loves you like crazy,

Heather

"My story: When I was Single"

(my single days-- 2007!)

Soo, a few of you have asked me about my story and although I've touched on it-- I've never blogged about it. So I want to tell you more about myself so you can understand my perspective when I talk about dating, courting and relationships. Let me be clear with you all.. I was a HOT mess when I was single. I'm not going to try to cover that up. You may hear my story now & say.. wow! She didn't believe in kissing before she got married-- so I'm sure she was always like that. ... Please. So here's my story.

So, I was adopted at the age of 5 months by a Caucasian family. My birth mother (who was mexican/german) and my father (who was african american) didn't think that my mother could get pregnant. Then.. while she was in college--she found out that she was pregnant. Thank God that she decided against abortion. She took the unselfish route & gave me an opportunity at life. So as soon as my birth mother gave birth to me, she gave me to a foster home right away. I know that had to be HARD for her. I couldn't imagine.

My foster mother didn't believe in fat babies, so she fed me 3 bottles a day--one for breakfast, lunch and dinner--so as a growing baby I cried! With all of my crying, she thought that I had Cerebral Palsy. Back then, (1982) they didn't have the tests they have now. There were two families that were looking to adopt me--but the foster family gave the African American family the first opportunity..because they were black. The African American family came to meet me and my foster family explained to them that I may have Cerebral Palsy because I cried all the time & because I was stiff. They passed on me & took an African American boy with severe allergies .. THEN, my mother & father came to look at me & said I WANT her! I don't care what's wrong with her! I will take her! My mother told me that when they called her she picked my older sister up, Kristi & danced with her in excitement. How amazing is that? I was adopted, set apart & chosen by a family. Makes me think of my relationship with Jesus. We were all LOST and without hope..and He died for us so that we may be adopted into His family. We are set apart as Christians. Chosen. Whew.

I wasn't the first child my parents adopted. I was actually number 10. I have 24 sisters and brothers ALL of different nationalities--my mother gave birth to only one of them. About 40% of my family has some type of physical or mental disability. (cystic fibrosis, down syndrome).When my mom was little, she lived across the street from an orphanage and she would visit there everyday and tell them that when she grows up--she's going to go back and adopt them all. .. amazing right??! What blows me away is that my parents always wanted to adopt the child that NOBODY else wanted & that the world rejected. What amazing, unconditional love. I DO want to highlight that my PARENTS are amazing. I was SO loved, so cared for, SO taken care of. I'm BLOWN away by the love they have for me. My father has passed away-- but my mother is still here & is STILL a huge ball of LOVE. I adore her & she's one of my best friends.

Jr high- High School

So I went to an all-white school and me and one other person were the only people of color. I felt so rejected. I never felt pretty enough. I would put super perms in my hair to make it straighter because I thought super meant straighter. I was on a full blown out mission.. to be beautiful. My nose seemed huge so I would dust brown eye shadow on the sides of my nose to make it appear smaller. I hated my "beauty" mark above my lip so I would try to cover it up with makeup. Guys didn't ask me out-- so when someone DID give me attention, I just settled for whoever because it felt good to be wanted.
I grew up in a Christan church. But personally, I didn't learn that I wasn't supposed to not have sex outside of marriage. The church was awesome with volunteering but I didn't learn how .. to live a life of pure worship to Jesus with my heart. My mama told me if I'm going to have sex-- get on birth control. So I did. So pretty  much, at this point-- I had soul ties, emotional and physical ties, was jealous, insecure, rejected & confused.

College

Here is where my hot-messness furthered. So now I'm in college and ALL these guys are giving me attention. It was super surprising to me because I had always viewed myself as ugly. I never hung out with African Americans so I thought that I had to "be like" them to get them to like me. Who knows what that meant? I honestly thought black women were mean. Dont' judge me. I grew up much differently. My mom had ALWAYS taught us that WE are all equal & our skin color has nothing to do with it... But some of the girls I met when I first went to college were SO mean to me for NO reason and I was so chipper & nice. lol. Nonetheless, I started getting my crew together & met a ton of friends from all races. I also learned that I cannot take a couple bad apples & generalize a whole race. (Hey, I was 17 at the time. What do you expect?)

I hated to be single. Dating guys gave me a feeling of completion. .. still wasn't a christian even though I "grew" up as one. I couldn't rock that title because I didn't live like it. I lived for myself & my emotions.

In college, I started dating this guy. Our relationship was a hot mess. This guy cheated on me with everything that moved. I stayed in the relationship because.. I "loved" him. Although I didn't know what love was. I didn't know the Author of Love, so thus--I couldn't give what I never knew or understood. The relationship was built on a foundation of self & lies. It was rough and very distracting. Then, we hit rock bottom. The relationship got really bad. So we broke up and I felt abandoned & lost. I knew if I jumped into another relationship that I would only make things worse & then continued to feel God tugging at my heart. I knew that HE wanted all of me. Even as a full blown sinner without Christ, I knew that Jesus had a plan for my life and that He talked to me. So, I went to a church service and I gave my life to Christ in 2003.. fo' real. I went to the Christian bible store & I looked at almost EVERY bible until I found one that I could read. -- I ended up purchasing the Students Life Application bible & I LOVED it. Then, I got a journal & a couple worship CD's.

Then, I started spending time with God every morning. Look, I aint' saying its right-- it's WRONG but even in my sin when I would stay the night with my new little boyfriends & I would still wake up, pray in the Holy Spirit, read my bible & study AND take my tail to church. It actually confused my ex boyfriends that I was so determined to go spend time with Jesus. lol. I STILL had date night with Jesus. I still counseled others. I still did all I knew to do as I was pressing towards Christ. I wasn't perfect. I was and AM a hot mess. I am so broken without Christ. I knew that God was changing me into His image & I had such a fire in my belly for Christ. This whole thing.. was a huge process for me.

Please hear me out.. MEN were a stronghold for me for YEARS. It was so hard for me NOT to be in a relationship. Even with my date nights with Jesus and everything.. I still struggled with being ok with being alone. I searched all over looking to place my value in people, things, money, purses & the way I looked and I came up EMPTY. In 2005 I read " I kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris & I heard about a story of a couple that waited to kiss until their wedding day & .. it's what I wanted. Even in the midst of not being a virgin & falling over & over.. I still wanted that deep down. I wanted to be valued and to be important to someone. I was tired of guys wanting to eventually have sex with me after "dating" for a few months. I wanted God's best but I just didn't know how to find it. I didn't know what it looked like. Throughout all of this time, the Lord was pulling on my heart.. "my daughter, dont' place your trust in humans, they are as frail as breath, don't go back into that room with your "boyfriend"--he hasn't paid the price for you-- I have", there's no profit in going back to that ex-- it's destructive." I would have dreams with my exes in the dreams where we'd be crashing into the water & drowning or I'd be attacked by demons after coming from their house in the dreams. It was crazy. God used EVERY avenue to show me.

Throughout this entire time, I continued to go to church, pray, study, read my bible.. etc. Then one day, I got SICK and tired of having one foot in the world & ONE foot in the kingdom of God. So I broke it off with my random. Was it hard? Well, yeah--but at this point, I had this relentless determination to live for Christ. I just knew that my CURRENT relationships at that time weren't God's best for my life. They were DITCHES and not bridges. GOD was pulling on my heart & I had no peace with them. I didn't know who I was going to marry but at that point it didn't matter. I would have RATHER been by  myself for 10 years then to date another random.

So I went to the Lord and said.. finally. Daddy, you are all I need. I'm so content in you. With tears in my eyes, I poured out to Him. All of my hurt, my pain, my soul ties, my sadness, my rejection, and fears. I laid them at His feet and from that day forward-- I started worshipping Jesus with my life.

I was still getting tested with randoms wanting to date me or go out with me. It was almost like an email blast when out when I got single so guys from ALL over started asking me out. I turned them all down. Nothing could compare to the wholeness... I finally found in Christ alone. After some time passed, and many more tests.. I met my now husband. He walked by me for 3 years at church and the most we said was "hello." Within 20 minutes of talking to each other--we knew that we had met our one-day spouses. There was no question. God's TIMING is PERFECT. I wasn't ready those 3 years.. I just wasn't. But when we met on January 4th 2009, it was the right TIME. Oddly enough, that very day--an ex reached out to me to "get together" but I turned him down. Thank God I did.

After a TON of developing EMOTIONALLY and after my husband going in & plucking out most of the crap that was in my heart from the past randoms--(like being spoiled, manipulating guys, being emotional, etc). He proposed to me 1 year after we started courting. 8 months later.. we got married and kissed for the first time on our wedding day.

                                   (on our honeymoon! :) 1 week after we got married)

This wasn't no fairytale. This was WORK. But the same work the Lord did in me.. He can and will do you in you. So don't give up. Not now, not ever. There was so many times were I felt so alone & so not valued--thinking that "no guy will ever value or respect me"--but I HAD FINALLY get whole & VALUE myself before I expected a man to. You have to understand-- the CARES of this world.. and the temptations will NEVER EVER EVER EVER outweigh God's goodness! HIS ways are perfect!! So let go of the LITTLE that is in your HAND and give your WHOLE life to HIM right now.

If I could scream from the rooftops & show you ANYTHING.. it's to STOP wasting your time. Granted, I still spent time with God through my mess but I didnt' have anyone TELLING me nothing. I was my OWN mentor & it was the blind leading the blind. I don't regret dating my exes. I regret wasting valuable time that could be spent giving my whole heart to Jesus as a single.

And if you haven't joined the pinky promise movement.. Join us. Check out my blog on it here. What is pinky promise? It's a promise to honor God with your body & your life. It was birthed just a couple weeks ago & there's over 1,000 people that joined the movement. Lets go! http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.com/2012/01/pinky-promise-no-randoms-bracelets-are.html


God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey
(me & my best friends) :)