"Help me to Forgive"

Ever been hurt by someone that you really love? This isn't some type of "drive-by" hurt as you're driving and someone beeps their horn at you & gives you a middle finger. But this is someone you have cultivated and developed a relationship with & they HURT you. I mean really hurt you. To the point.. where it completely questioned your relationship with them. So.. what do you do when you get wrecked like this? I mean, you love Jesus. You go to church. You try to live for Him. You said that you forgave that person. But the thought of them still makes you roll your eyes. You don't know how to let go of the pain even though you verbally forgave them. They cheated on you. They abused you. They talked about you. They stole from you. They left you. They ruined your trust. They really messed up. They really broke your heart. Do they KNOW how bad they hurt you? Do they KNOW the pain they have caused in your heart? You felt like you were a good friend, wife, husband, or whatever else and you don't feel like you deserve that treatment.

I have experienced that pain. Some of you have gone through some really deep rooted pain that I will never understand. I could never totally understand your shoes because I didn't have to walk in them. Although I had my own share of hurt and pain-- I do know this: as Christians, we can have a different perspective in the midst of our hurt. Remember, you are NOT like this world. Your standard comes from the Lord so your RESPONSE to the hurt must be different. This doesn't mean that you have to run and be best friends with the girl that stole your boyfriend or the woman that crossed you the wrong way because God can reveal certain things in people as a warning to you. What do I mean by warning? As I mentioned before.. everyone cannot be your friend. Some relationships are seasonal and you cannot afford to bring people that are unqualified into the next season of your life. Does this mean you hate them? No! Does this mean that you should try to open a door in that relationship because it's the "right" thing? No! It means that you should be God-led in who you surround yourself with but be QUICK to forgive them. And let me throw this in there.. just because you miss a person.. doesn't mean that they are supposed to be in your LIFE. We must constantly check our emotions to make sure that they are in LINE with where God is taking us.

I'm telling you that you can forgive whoever hurt you. You can seriously from the bottom of your heart let it go. How? Because Christ forgave YOU. That may sound like a cliche but how is it that we are so humbled and broken before God over our own sins against Him and we want immediate freedom from whatever.. but the second somebody wrongs us; we hold onto that hurt. "They need to PAY for what they did, right?" What if Christ made you pay for the way you treat Him? You would never rest as you carried around a burden of guilt. And most of you carry that burden around. You don't think that Christ really forgave YOU so you aren't really forgiving anybody else. When you refuse to forgive other people, it's like you are drinking poison, praying for someone else to die. That poison is getting into your blood stream and it's eating you alive from the inside out. And all the while.. you think that you are charging someone else for the way they hurt you-- but not only did they hurt you, but now they're living rent-free in your head. And most likely, that person isn't even THINKING about you or what happen. They have moved on and are going about their life and bitterness is eating you away. You see them on facebook and they're so happy.. and seeing their life. Seeing them makes you even more bitter.

How is it that you believe in forgiveness for yourself but refuse to give it to anybody else? How is it that you hold yourself to a higher standard as if forgiveness only applies to you and nobody else? How is that we want Christ more but we hate our sister or brother in Christ? How can we move on in our "ministries, callings, purpose" or whatever else if we are carrying all of this BAGGAGE?? Sis & bro.. GOD wants your HEART. So before you run & try to start a ministry you need to run & sit at the feet of Jesus and let Him HEAL your broken heart.( Psalm 147:3)

Jesus said we are to forgive others “seventy times seven” in response to Peter’s question, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" (Matthew 18:21-22). To fully understand what Jesus was saying, we must look at the context of the whole chapter, for Jesus was speaking not only about forgiving one another, but about Christian character, both in and out of the church. If you read that chapter, Peter, wishing to appear especially forgiving and "righteous" asked Jesus if forgiveness was to be offered seven times. The Jewish rabbis at the time taught that forgiving someone more than three times was unnecessary so Jesus had to clear it up! (referring to Amos 1:3-13 where God forgave Israel’s enemies three times, then punished them) By offering forgiveness more than double that of the Old Testament example, Peter most likely expected extra praise from the Lord as he appeared to be forgiving & loving. When Jesus responded that forgiveness should be offered four hundred and ninety times, which was WAY beyond that which Peter was proposing, it must have SHOCKED the disciples who were listening. Although they had been with Jesus for some time, they were still thinking in the limited terms of the law, rather than in the unlimited terms of grace. I believe that most of us are still stuck in the terms of the law. Saying, I'm going to forgive you this many times and after that-- that's IT! After that, I will NEVER forgive you. Can you do a heartcheck to see if there's anyone in your life that you've intentionally refused to forgive? Are you waiting for someone to "earn" your grace?

By saying we are to forgive those who sin against us seventy times seven, Jesus was not limiting forgiveness to 490 times-- He was saying there IS no number to how many times we can forgive. We as Christians with forgiving hearts not only do not limit the number of times WE forgive; we must continue to forgive with as much grace the thousandth time as they do the first time. WE are only capable of this type of forgiving spirit because the Spirit of God lives within us, and it is He who provides the ABILITY to offer forgiveness over and over, just as God forgives us over and over. So  it's NO longer in YOUR ability to forgive whoever hurt you! It's in CHRIST'S ABILITY. The Holy Spirit will HELP you!  You have to stop trying to forgive everyone in your flesh. It just won't work. You may be reading this and think that it's impossible to forgive someone. You're RIGHT. In your own way of thinking.. it IS. But through Christ, you can truly let it GO.

Let's check out a few scenarios! 

1. Some of you may have been betrayed by a a spouse or a friend. What do you do? How do you forgive and trust your spouse again after the hurt?
Answer: You should learn to have amnesia in your marriage or friendships that are God-ordained. This doesn't mean you throw everything under the rug and never address everything.. it just means that EVERYTHING doesn't need to be addressed every 5 minutes you are offended. Maybe it's not them.. maybe it's you. Do you give God a chance to check you OR are you too busy popping off at the mouth? God can & WILL heal your marriage. You must adjust your mindset. You cannot just quit everytime it gets hard. You will get hurt. You will have rough days. But if you get through those tests then things will get better, you'll grow closer and it will get EASIER.

In the cases of cheating, your goal should be reconciliation. Both sides need to come together, repent, get counseling and get focused on Christ again. If your husband continually cheats on you even after the several attempts of reconciliation, he has abandoned the marriage. He has forced a divorce. I don't recommend staying a marriage a marriage with continued adultery or constant physical abuse. You STILL have to forgive him, but it doesn't mean that you HAVE to stay married to the man as he cheats on you or beats you.

2. I forgave that person.. BUT I still don't have good feelings towards them. What do I do?
 Answer: Forgive by faith. Some of ya'll need to by faith.. forgive someone and then just ask God to help you think good thoughts towards them. Pray for them every time their name pops up or if you see them. Whisper under your breath that.. "God, I pray for so & so- that they may know you and your power. May they walk in your ways and obey you in everything they do." You won't be bitter towards them long because God will really change YOUR heart.

3. My boyfriend did something to really hurt me. What do I do, do I stay?
Answer: Let's be clear- if he cheated on you or something-- I don't recommend sticking around because a ring won't change his mindset. You're obligated in a marriage to AT least attempt to make it work. In a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship you are getting an opportunity to check a person's "get down" out aka fruit of the spirit. Again, we must always be God-led in our relationships but if your man is always lying.. and it's always SOMETHING.. and he's always trying to sleep with you.. and its.. this or that-- a "rang" aint gonna change him sister. You'll be checking behind him for the rest of your LIFE. Now, this is not "formula." All of your relationships should be God-led as I said before.

4. My parents hurt me. How do I get through the pain when I have to see them or a family member?
Answer: I totally understand! Whew! I know how that can be! I have been in a situation where I was hurt by a family member and first I took it to the Lord and asked the Lord to help me to forgive them. I forgave them by faith and I reached out to them to talk the situation out. I didn't feel like we were ever on the same page concerning this situation. I still felt hurt in my heart about the situation but I was determined not to give up on the person. I continued to call them, just to check up on them and prayed earnestly that God would soften and change their heart hearts to Him. Now, it's like nothing ever happened. It's pretty amazing. Not only have I forgiven them, but now we're moving forward and growing in our relationship. I knew that it was a relationship in my family that I couldn't just CUT off. I knew they were supposed to be in my life. There was no question.

There are some situations where you have to pull away from family members & stand up to them. In this situation, I felt like I had to stand up for what had happened. My standards and values come from Christ alone and no other place.

Regardless of your situation, remember this:  

Ephesians 4:32
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  


Just a few fun reminders!

1. The sold-out Pinky Promise Conference is this week! ;-) Please keep us in your prayers as we are planning the final details and the ladies are coming in town! :)

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 10,000 ladies that have joined! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com 

4. To purchase cross rings, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store

God loves you like crazy!

Heather Lindsey

(One of our maternity photos!) :-)

My New Book!! "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts"

Ahh! I'm so excited!! I just finished my very first book! It's called "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts." The Lord placed it on my heart to write this book YEARS ago but I didn't fully start writing it until December of 2011! Here's a snippet of what the book is about:

An invitation for every woman who’s ever felt like she isn’t good enough, pretty enough, saved enough, content enough or doing enough.

Like millions of women, Heather Lindsey wanted to have it all together. But as life continued to go on, she found herself searching to fill her insecurities with temporary voids and ended up broken, rejected, exhausted and frustrated. Desperate to let God change her from the inside out—she shares her story, struggles and triumphs as she went from having Pink Lips & an Empty Heart to having Pink Lips and a Heart that is completely surrendered to God.

In a society where women are encouraged to portray a certain self-image, Heather challenges women in saying that it is not enough to just get dressed up and portray a “perfect appearance” when deep down, you’re empty. As a result, we try hide who we really are from everyone, including God.

Join Heather Lindsey as she offers witty, fresh advice that you would expect from your best friend over dinner. Compassionate and practical, Pink Lips & An Empty Heart is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:

• Be content whether they are single or married
• How to develop a deep, intimate relationship with Christ
• Resist the desire to compare your life to others
• Prioritize their day to day life busy schedule
• Develop in the gifts that God placed inside of you
• BONUS: Practical tips on hair, beauty and other money saving resources

I'm working on a 90 day devotional, a mommy/maternity book packed with recipes & tips on staying fit while pregnant and another book-- in which I will share after I finish the other two! ;-) You can find the book here: www.PinkLipAndEmptyHearts.com

 God loves you like crazy,

 Heather Lindsey (My maternity shoot from this past week! 8 Months Pregnant!)

Where is my Ring??!

So, everybody around you is getting engaged! Every day you log onto facebook you find that YET another person is engaged! Although you're happy for them, deep down-- you're thinking umm.. ANOTHER PERSON?! UGH! WHEN IS MY TIME?!??! You go to church, pray, spend time with God, you're living right but HOW is it that all of your unsaved co-workers are now engaged.. or all your friends are engaged, married.. having kids but you find yourself.. still single. 

I just want to encourage you today sis. I have felt how you've felt and I have been where you've been. First and foremost, you have got to stop comparing your life to another person. You've heard this before but I'm going to remind you that you're a Christian. You have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you. Do you know what that means to all of heaven??! You've been adopted, set apart, pulled aside, HIDDEN and PROTECTED under the care of CHRIST. Do you think He's going to just let you run off any marry some of anybody??! Anybody can get a ring honey. You can walk outside and pick a random up off the street and make him marry you. Proverbs 24:1 says: Be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them. So.. that should clear up being jealous of a bunch of random unsaved people that are getting engaged. They don't belong to Christ which means that CHRIST has no say-so in their relationships! The WORST feeling in the world is for you to walk down the aisle to a man that you KNOW God didn't tell you to marry! Yes, God is always speaking. He's always with you. Are you listening? And this isn't the time to run and preach to them that they shouldn't be getting married if they aren't saved. Bashing them over the head with the bible once engaged won't make them run to Christ. Just smile, hug them and say congratulations while you pray for their salvation.

Each season in your life will develop to the next one. If you're worrying non-stop about getting married, you'll finally get married and then you'll worry about kids. "Everybody is having kids and you don't have any kids." Then, you'll finally get pregnant and then you'll compare yourself to all of the other pregnant women and worry about your entire pregnancy. Then, kids will finally come and then you will compare your kids to everybody else's child. Do you see how destructive this cycle is??! And remember, we're Christians. Jesus is so clear to us when He tells us.. 

Philippians 4:6-7
6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

So.. are you allowing His peace to guard your mind during this season of your life? Or are you on a mad search to "finds you a man?" I want to encourage you to get off of your dating sites as you "SEEK" a spouse and get on your face before God & "SEEK" Him. Don't let being single make you bitter sis. GET UP!  You shouldn't be in that waiting room waiting for him! Single life is NOT a waiting room for MARRIAGE. Marriage is ministry and if you were lazy with your walk with God while single when you get married, you'll get smacked in the face by the EFFORT that it takes to make a marriage GOOD & last. We wait for cars, we wait at the doctors, we wait for the train, we wait for appointments. And when the mechanic, our ride, the doctor or the train is LATE.. we get frustrated! We look at our watch & we're like come ON!! If you don't know what train you're supposed to get on, you'll hop on any train that comes because you're TIRED of waiting. Some of us have been on the wrong train for awhile and we need to get off of it because it's PUSHING us further and further away from our destination. Some of us have been "dating" men that we WISH would marry us but we know deep down that that fool has zero standards and no relationship with God. He won't spend time with God, he won't pray, he would rather play with your body then study the bible, he is CLEARLY not husband material but you would rather in that moment forgo being SINGLE than to have to deal with being lonely again.

God was MUCH more concerned about my purpose than changing my last name. He knew that He needed to pair me with someone who was individually pursing Christ the same way that I was pursing Him. I believe that if it was the will of God for my life, I would have waited even longer before I met Cornelius BUT God KNEW that we would come together & get BUSY about the Kingdom of God. He knew our hearts. He knew we wanted to please Him. He knew that our #1 concern in pursing His name. We were individually pursing Christ alone. The fork finally met & we knew within 15 minutes of meeting on January 3, 2009 that we were getting married one day.

Sis, I want to encourage you to get back to the place of worship and begin to trust God wholeheartedly.  As a NOW wife I SEE how much work goes into a marriage and I'm telling you that you want homeboy to have the basics. You're going to want your one-day marriage to glorify God and then when you DO have kids.. you're going to want your HUSBAND to lead your household as a Christian leader. You may not see how important it is because your clock is "ticking" but I want to remind you that Sarah got pregnant at 99. If you don't know who Sarah is-- read Genesis.

 So remove the words "I'm waiting for my man" from your vocabulary and replace them with "I TRUST GOD'S TIMING concerning EVERY AREA." We must become desperate for Christ and stop being desperate for a relationship.

You didn't get a ring this engagement season because it's not your TIME. YOUR ADAM has yet to awake (click on the link for the blog about it) and you cannot let those around you that are getting married DISTRACT you. On Christmas day 2008, I spent it alone with my family as a single woman. I met my now husband 9 days later. He proposed 12 months later.. on Christmas day 2009. You never know how God can turn things around! First step: Be content wherever He has you right now! Trust that if that DOOR was supposed to be opened, HE would have opened it.

(1 minute after Cornelius proposed!)

So what do you do in the interim?

1. Guard your heart: If Facebook is ruffling your feathers, maybe you need to pull away from it for a little while so you can focus. Stop watching stupid shows on TV that include sex, adultery, fantasies, or whatever else. Don't you realize those things can OPEN a door into your heart?

2. Be happy for others: If you aren't happy with yourself, you won't be able to be happy with others. So sit before God & be honest. You can tell Him that you're jealous & bitter and TIRED of being single. Ask Him to HELP you to want to WANT to be ok with being single.

3. Ask Him to show you the joys of being single. Get prepared to get tested.. but don't worry, the tests will make you stronger & mature you. Remember that you're SUPPOSED to be doing something during this season. What is God trying to accomplish & get you to DEVELOP in? Is He having a hard time because you're ignoring Him & focused on .. this world?

4. Find a local church & get involved! Surround yourself with like-minded Christian women! If you aren't in a Pinky Promise group, there's about 300 groups all over the world! These groups are SISTERHOODS. Period. We encourage each other-- build each other up. Work on studies every month and really keep each other accountable. www.pinkypromisemovement.com

5. SPEND TIME WITH GOD! Honey, when you're on your face before God-- you don't have time to be worry about what is on sister susie's ring hand finger! You're BUSY about PURSING God and you're TIRED at the end of the day. You won't have time to be jealous of anybody.

Stay focused & encouraged sis!

And before I go.. I'm BEYOND excited to announce that my FIRST book is being released next Friday, January 4th!!!! This book is for the woman that is completely dressed up and broken inside. It's for the woman that feels like.. she isn't doing enough, saved enough or whatever-enough. It's truly the all-in-one book for the woman after God's own heart! It will be available via Kindle, Amazon & my own personal site! To pair with the book, "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts" I'm coming out with my OWN lipstick line with 3 shades of PINK! I will share those details later AND the link to purchase the book when I have it!

Here's a few things I will discuss: 

• Find contentment whether they are single or married

• Develop a deep, intimate relationship with Christ

• Eliminate the desire to play the comparing game

• Prioritize their busy, day-to-day schedules

• Develop and grow into the gifts that God has placed inside of them

• BONUS: Practical tips about hair and beauty, as well as other money saving tips and resources

And speaking of rings.. I have a Pinky Promise Sterling Silver ring that you can wear on your left ring hand finger that serves as a reminder that you're married to Christ (Isaiah 54:5). So wear IT or another ring as a reminder until your one-day husband replaces it with your engagement ring. You can find it at the Pinky Promise Store! www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com. I've always said if you want a ring so bad, buy one & get over the hype. :)

AND Check out my new website that has my calendar and other fun updates about the new church we're starting in Atlanta, GA! :) www.heatherllindsey.com! 

God LOVES you like CRAZY,

Heather Lindsey

It was worth the trust.

The night of the engagement!

The "Private" Woman

I am in the middle of the final edits of my book but I had to take a break from it and share an area that has been heavy on my heart with my sisters.  As women, we carry so much hurt, pain, rejection and so many other things from our past that we begin to subconsciously charge every other woman that has hurt us in our future. We also charge our husbands, boyfriends and whoever else for the exes. But specifically today, I want to ask you a question.. are you HIDING what God called you to do?

God has birthed a huge ministry in so many of you women but because of your hurt, you’re afraid to open up, to try anything or to step out and do what He called you to do because you’re “private.” It’s ok to keep some things to yourself but I can guarantee that some of you ladies.. have some really encouraging, powerful stories that God LONGS to use! Some of you are so resourceful and are naturally skilled at things like interior design, fashion, cooking, organizing, business and so many other areas! WHAT DO YOU have in your hands? What gifts and talents has God placed in your heart to share with others but you’re keeping your tips, ideas, vision and whatever for yourself? So, it’s all about you and yours right? 

Sis, it’s time to be free. Free to let God use ALL of who you are! Granted, you’re going to meet some not-so-good people out there but we live in a fallen world, so it will happen! You cannot let those FEW people discourage you from DOING all that GOD called YOU TO DO! Can you imagine if I never started Pinky Promise because I “didn’t want anybody to know my business or my past?”  I am not concerned about my past but I'm focused on the FUTURE that God has planned for me! My past has been WASHED away! I have NO shame from what has happen to be because I believe that God uses whatever HAS happen for His glory now because I'm determined to live for Him. How do I know that?

2 Corinthians 5:17 
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Psalm 85:2
You forgave the iniquity of your people; You, covered all their sin.

Romans 8:1
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

So it’s clear, that IN CHRIST, we are NEW creations!! With NEW gifts, talents and so many things INSIDE of us!! I challenge you to WAKE up the SLEEPING woman inside of you! Do you KNOW how many women would benefit from your wisdom, ideas, talents and gifts?! If you could ONLY see your potential. You’re so private that you keep all of your gifts hidden and push everyone away because you think they’re out to get you. If you would just let your guard down and tap into who you are in Christ you would find that God placed a beautiful ministry on the inside of you. Don’t you know that when you harden your heart against people, you ALSO harden your heart against CHRIST. Now, I’m not saying that you should just hang out with some of anybody that gossips, talks crazy and refuses to live for Christ. What I AM saying is you have to stop giving every new person you meet the side-eye as you hold your gifts and talents inside of you for “your eyes only.” EVERYBODY IS NOT OUT TO GET YOU. You have got to let go of that idea and be open to the doors that God opens in your life through friendships.

I don't want you to read this blog and then run and start a ministry. I want you to read this blog and then sit at the feet of Jesus and give Him your hurts and cares. The issue is-- we hear things like this and then we run out crippled from our past and then after the high wears off, we begin to slowly start charge new women for the old women that hurt us.. again. You need a true conversion from the inside out. You need to truly give this area to God & LEAVE it there. Then, be intentional in all of your relationships about allowing God to change you from the inside out. So REMEMBER this when you meet new people.. grace them, pray for them, ask God to show you their hearts and REST. Stop looking into everything; assuming that whoever is going to hurt you. As far as your gifts and talents,  start wherever you are-- use social media to share your FAVORITE tips & advice concerning your gifted areas! Start a blog on an area you're SUPER passionate about! You NEVER know how God could use what He places on your heart! Start a Youtube video on how to apply makeup and include how vital it is to be beautiful from the INSIDE out first with Christ! Start a cooking youtube channel and teach ladies HOW to cook! 

How can we continue to ask God to "show us our purpose & ministry" if we refuse to even open up about where we came from and what God has done in our life? Why do you want to start your "ministry?" Why do you want a PLATFORM? So you can pat yourself on the back? Why do you want to be successful in whatever you do? Is God at the forefront of your mind? STOP seeking your "purpose" and start seeking Him. Then, take each day-- day by day. When you place God first... He will show you, "do this, then do that. Go here, then go there." Let's be clear, God places people on top of a platform that could CARE LESS. They care about pleasing Him and not people. If you're so tied up and worried about your past; you'll be controlled by people and not Him. 

Transparency is priceless. It shows others that.. you know.. you aren't perfect but God will take your many imperfections and make you whole. It gives people hope that God can change the "worst" of them. It shows people that you don't have to be perfect in order to come to Christ. It shows people that God can turn your mess into a masterpiece. It shows people that God has not FORGOTTEN about those that seem forgotten.

Stop HIDING. It's time to come out sis. USE what God placed INSIDE of you! 

Fun reminders:

My book is coming out in a few weeks! I cannot WAIT!! More details to follow!

Don't forget if you order any two items from Pinky Promise, you get a cross ring for free! Use the code: CROSSRING via www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com! :)

Have you joined Pinky Promise? It's an AMAZING sisterhood with over 8,000 women that are totally in love with Christ. Pretty amazing. www.pinkypromisemovement.com 

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey 

Baby Boy Lindsey's Shower

Wow! We've been super busy with moving, planning the Pinky Promise Conference, finishing the editing portions of my book AND preparing to launch our church in Atlanta, GA next month! I wanted to pop in and share pictures from our beautiful shower yesterday! We're so excited an thankful to be parents! Being married for two and a half years has really given us a chance to get to know each other and prepare to welcome someone else into our family. We take being a parent very seriously and we're THRILLED for what this journey will bring!

We aren't sharing Baby Boy Lindsey's name until AFTER his birth, but don't worry-- I'll post a few pictures of his photoshoot! :) We played some cool games; the guys had a to blow up a ballon and then try to bend down and put their shoes on, we had to change a babies diaper with our hand behind our back and "How well do you know Heather & Cornelius" a few more games-- opening presents and so much more! It was pretty awesome!

The colors of my shower were yellow, black and white! 

Checking out the 7 month belly with Sabrina! :) 

My very best friend, Delan! :) 

My sweet Wynter! :)

My VERY best friends of 12 years! :)

    Me & my best friend, Noey--  2 weeks apart! :)

The AMAZING baby shower planning committee! I love these ladies!! 

Opening Presents!

Thanks for sharing in our celebration of Baby Boy Lindsey! We are looking forward to the Pinky Promise Conference Baby Shower & then.. 1.5 months later, we will meet him! :)  

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!

www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets, promise rings, & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store! 

www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you picked up my husband's book? "So, You Want To Be Married?"

www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com  

Coming Soon in January 2013

My First book! :) 

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Your PAST"

So, you're saved now. You love Jesus. You go to church. You work on living this thing out. You read your bible. You do all of these things.. but deep down you still have this nagging feeling from your past. It's a guilty feeling that you have that you're not good enough, saved enough, powerful enough or strong enough.

Before I continue I want you to know that everybody has a past-- not just you. We needed Jesus because we had to be saved FROM something. As most of you know-- the biggest area I struggled with was placing my hope and trust in humans and not Christ-- specifically, my little boyfriends when I was single. I found value in relationship more than I did God and I made those relationships my idols. I wanted humans affirmation more than I wanted Christ so I jumped from relationship to relationship all while raising my hands in church and speaking in tongues. Although my past may not be like your past-- every single person HAS one. I believe that it's because we live in a fallen world that we WILL have tribulations but "Be of good cheer-- because Christ has overcome this world." (John 16:33). This blog isn't another attempt for you to get emotional, write down all of your past & crumple it up & throw it over your shoulder. Sadly, it will still exist. You must allow God to do a deep work in your HEART and let Him rip out anything in you that's not like HIM.

When you gave your heart to Jesus, He CLEANSED you from all of your sin & all unrighteoutness. (1 John). If you've been abused, raped, molested, hurt or physically abused I want you to know that God doesn't hate you & HE still wants to USE you. He hates sin. He knew that on this earth we would experience unspeakable things and that is why He sent His only Son, Jesus to this earth to make you whole again. We have to start believing that it is really Christ that can heal us from our past. "By the strips of Jesus you are healed" in 2 Peter 2:24 is spiritual and referring to SALVATION. Now that you are SAVED and belong to the FATHER "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" - 2 Corinthians 5:12 YOU ARE A NEW CREATURE IN CHRIST! Now, you just have to BELIEVE by FAITH that you are.

When your past begins to cripple you-- this is what happens-- situations happen over and over again and instead of really dealing with those things head on and giving them to Christ--we begin to get hard. We say "I'm fine, I don't need nobody-- I'm GOOD" as you continue to push your hurt under the rug. What happens is the rug can only hold so much of your past so then your past begins to seep out into your workplace, relationships and every other area. You begin to charge others for what happened in your past. Then, you wonder why you cannot function properly in certain relationships. You jump from FRIENDSHIP to Friendship.. relationship to relationship.. boss to boss-- blaming everybody and everything for your HURT while you refuse to trust or commit to anyone in fear of getting hurt. You want things to work-- but deep down you cannot quite figure it out. It's because your foundation is hurt and not Christ. "By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward." 1 Corinthians 3:10-14. So what does that tell me? It tells me that your foundation in life will get TESTED. If your foundation is based on the abuse from your past-- it's going to FAIL you over and over again. Until you allow God to rip up that foundation in your heart and let Him transform your heart into His image- you will remain spiritually crippled and heavy. 

I gotta be honest with you, if you're holding onto the guilt and shame from your past-- you're most likely doing it to others while you pray to be free. How can you afford to walk around and hold people to their past when YOU had one as well? We are the BODY of Christ! We must come together at some point and start building and encouraging each other! Tell God that you're bitter and jealous of everybody else and that you need help! God can WORK with somebody that is has a heart that constantly judges itself! He cannot work with you if you constantly IGNORE your very wicked heart.

This past weekend in Michigan! :) Happy Thanksgiving everyone! :) Baby Boy Lindsey is getting big!

So, how to deal with your past? Here's some practical tips! 

1) Confess all known, previously unconfessed sin. In some cases, feelings of guilt are appropriate because confession is needed. Many times, we feel guilty because we are guilty! You are guilty of choosing that man over God. Yes it was wrong but YES it can change right NOW. (See David’s description of guilt and its solution in Psalm 32:3-5.)

2) Ask the Lord to reveal any other sin that may need confessing. Be completely open and honest before the Lord. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). I often pray that God forgives me of any unknown sin and I ask Him to reveal my heart to me so that I can change and be conformed into His image.

3) Trust the promise of God that He will forgive sin and remove guilt, based on the blood of Christ (1 John 1:9; Psalm 85:2; 86:5; Romans 8:1).

4) On occasions when guilty feelings arise (and they will) over sins already confessed and forsaken, reject such feelings as false guilt. The Lord has been true to His promise to forgive. Read and meditate on Psalm 103:8-12.

5) Ask the Lord to rebuke Satan, your accuser, and ask the Lord to restore the joy that comes with freedom from guilt (Psalm 51:12).

6) Your PAST does NOT define you, Christ's death and resurrection defines you. Ask God to help you to believe this.

7) Cast down stupid thoughts that attack you. (2 Corinthians 10:5).

8) Guard your heart against TV shows and music that reminds you of your past. You have a part to play--- God will always play His part-- will you?

9) Don't go back to the sin that kept you in bondage. It's better to be uncomfortable in the arms of Christ than comfortable in the arms of a random that is cheating on you, beating you and using your body.

10) Walk in the newness of Christ daily. I don't have time to entertain my past because I'm much too busy focused on what God told me to do! I'm TIRED at the end of the day and I have enough energy to do what HE called me to do alone. As my sister would say, "I don't have time for all that extra!" haha! :)

Psalm 32 is an awesome study if you're struggling in this area. Although David had sinned (murderer, adulterer, liar, etc)  terribly, he found freedom from both sin and guilty feelings. He dealt with the cause of guilt and the reality of forgiveness. Psalm 51 is another good passage to investigate. The focus here is confession of sin, as David pleads with God from a heart full of guilt and sorrow. Restoration and joy are the results. I talk about spending time with God and confessing your sins often in "How to Spend Time with God"-- I think it's important that you recognize that true freedom comes from not just "knowing" but believing that Christ DIED for you.

Finally, if sin has been confessed, repented of, and forgiven, it is time to move on. Remember that we who have come to Christ have been made new creatures in Him. Part of the “old” which has gone is the remembrance of past sins and the guilt they produced. Sadly, we are SO prone to wallowing in memories of our past sin, meditating on memories which should have been dead and buried long ago. This is pointless and waste of precious time. It's time to refocus & get busy about accomplishing the will of God for your life. God has a plan for you-- regardless of your past. So, if you have people that are constantly bringing up your past and throwing it in your face (or even if you're doing this to yourself)-- remind them & yourself that "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"-- 2 Corinthians 5:17. You may have to tell yourself this twenty times a day but it's better to fight BACK than to sit and entertain your past. And if others are focused on your past, don't worry-- as they focus on it, you focus on Christ. Then, you'll look up and Christ will put you on BLAST & show you off, just to show this silly world that He calls the last.. first.

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!

www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets, promise rings, & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store! 

www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you picked up my husband's book? "So, You Want To Be Married?"

www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com  

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey


The new Pinky Promise tee! :)

Unequally Yoked?

I think it’s important to address this area because unequally yoked relationships are hindering our walk with God in regards to our friendships, courting, and especially in your dating relationships. Then, you look up and you’re married to this person that you’re completely unyoked with but because you were so focused on leaving the title of being “single” behind—you ignored ALL of the warning signs and married this fool who “said” he was a Christian.

Let's clear up a few things:

1. Yes, you can be unequally yoked with someone at your church or another Christian. Just because they are sitting under the same word as you-- doesn't mean that they are taking it and applying it to their life. Maturity comes when we start living this walk and passing these tests.

2. Yes, you can be unequally yoked with your friend. At times, there's a fork in the road of your relationships where maybe your friend stops pursing God as you continue to pursue Him. You may find that surrounding yourself with that friend is pushing you further and further away from God. You find yourself compromising and heading the wrong way.. but you just don't know why.

3. Yes, you and your boyfriend could be totally unyoked. Maybe you're trying to make it work because you don't want to be single. Maybe you're rationalizing because .. you're tired of being lonely. Maybe you both are working on your relationship "together" as you sleep "together?"

4. NO, you don't throw away every person you think you're "unequally yoked" with-- some relationships (mostly FEMALE friendships develop & grow into great relationships as no relationship is perfect), but YOU have to control the environment (ie. invite her to church or to a positive event.) And knowing God-- He refuses to share His glory with your little sorta-saved boyfriend so--most likely, He already told you to break that off.

5. YES, you can be free from soul ties by confessing your SIN to God and HE will cleanse it. (1 John)-- Sometimes, we think we need this whole emotional production at church to be free from a soul tie. WALK in the cleansing POWER of CHRIST & turn away from that sin. Now, by faith-- continue to choose Christ and the light. Then, GUARD your heart. Block him from social media, change your number-- do what you have to do.

6. YES, there's times you will have to pull back from your family and not surround yourself with them 24-7 as Christ builds your faith. They may not accept or understand your walk with God and criticize you for it. Stand firm in love.

Even demons can “say” they are a Christian. What would you say if satan came up to you and said.. “I’m a Christian, I’ll go to church with you on Sunday.” He goes to church with you—lifts his hands during praise and worship and shouts like he was delivered from something. Would you believe him?  Well, you’ve just met most people that are in church today. We sit in church on Sunday for one hour a week and we live the rest of the 167 hours a week like no God exists on this earth. Although they may not be satan—they live their life like they belong to Him.

 1 John 2:4- “If someone claims “I know God, “ but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love Him. That is how we know we are living in Him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.”


So, I'm saying that you cannot just SAY that you’re a Christian and expect to get into heaven. If you belong to God—you will live in the light and stay in the light and make decision that line up with His word. Yeah, you’re not perfect but if you DO sin, He’s faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you. (1 John 1:9) However, a real Christian isn’t practicing SIN. They practice holiness. They guard their heart. They’re intentional about living for God. So I challenge you. Do a lifecheck. Is there some fruit growing on your tree that PROVES that you live for Jesus? Stop telling me that you belong to Jesus if you hate someone that hurt you. (1 John 2:10). When you take each day—day by day—you’re living for Christ. When you GIVE Him your hate, frustration, issues and problems-- and ask Him to help you and you really mean it-- you're living for HIM.

So now that we have the basics down about what a real Christian is—let’s take a look at how to identify an unequally yoked relationship. You know deep down in your heart if you aren’t equally yoked with someone. You just know. Especially if you spend time with them and see how they respond to life’s issues. You may ignore those areas because you “love” him and he’s “on his way to being saved” or you’re trying to “get him saved.” The only thing you can change on a boy is his diaper. A man has to want God for himself. You may have been with that person for a really long time and you don’t want to start over with anybody else but you know good and well that person,  (insert name) is not God’s best for your life.

2 Corinthians 5:14-16- “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.”


Remember that just because someone says they’re saved, they can still be an “unbeliever.” An unbeliever is someone who refuses to believe God’s word and live according to His ways. I'm so tired of Christians running around and saying they got saved at 4 years old and since then-- they've been living like hell on earth. YOU are LIVING for your master. Is your master GOD or satan? Your lifestyle best identifies with who your father is. 
         

Preaching in MO this past week! My hubby introduced me!

Let’s look at a couple of scenarios.

1. An unequally yoked boyfriend or girlfriend can pull you so far away from Christ. They will poison you with their “ideas” and “philosophies” about God while planting seeds in your heart.

They may say, we are planning on getting married—"it’s ok for us to have sex. Nobody is going to know—I just want to be one with you. I’m committed to you and you’re committed to me—we have each other." Sounds like something out of a movie right? You feeling’ all warm and fuzzy inside but STOP. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20  “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.  Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” YOU cannot trust that man with your own purity and you're about to trust him to lead your life in a one-day marriage?

Your little boyfriend has made his flesh his “god” and is about to rob you of your purity and relationship with God by taking what doesn’t belong to him. Don’t be that girl that goes along with him. Your relationship will only get worse as you push God to the outside of it. Remember those that choose Christ are abiding in the light. They are choosing God when it’s hard. Remember that our relationships are supposed to push us closer to God—not away from Him.

   2. They can weaken your faith. It’s that person that constantly doubts everything about God based on some weird “logic” that they came up with.  So if you’re hanging around a ton of “friends” that are of different religions, you’re setting yourself up if you aren’t strong enough. Meaning, most likely, you will end up doing what they’re doing versus your Christian values influencing them. You cannot tip-toe around this area.

1 Corinthians 5:9 says “Do not associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulged in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to believe yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, worships idols, abusive, is a drunkard or cheats people.”

You may be thinking that this is a bit extreme. God knows that you’re not going to walk around sinless and neither will those around you but this text is referring to those people that deliberately sin, feel no guilt, shame or remorse and then come up with excuses in their head to why they think it’s ok. If you continue to read that same scripture—it says to JUDGE the person inside the church who claims to be a Christian yet indulges in sexual sin. This isn’t a chance for you to yell at everyone and call the out unless you’re ready to call yourself out. You go to your sister in Christ and confront and discipline that person from a caring place of LOVE.

If you have a friend who you are watching go downhill in a certain area—talk to them in a loving way about this. But check and pull your emotions together before you speak to them. It’s vital for your walk as a Christian to make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with believers and Christians that live for Christ. More than anything- be GOD led.

Don’t you REALIZE that there’s a reason that God doesn’t want you to associate with people that aren’t going in the direction that you’re going in? God told Abraham in Genesis to LEAVE his family and go to a place where God would show him. God didn’t even give specific instructions. He just said GO. So, when God tells you to “go”—what excuse do you give? You don’t want to leave your boyfriend that keeps sleeping with you? You have chicks around you that are dropping seeds of doubt in your head? Are your “unequally yoked” friendships pushing you away from God? Of course they are. The proof is in the pudding. You get around that girl—and you find that you complain, gossip and feel heavy after leaving her presence. Back to the story—God told Abraham to get away from His family because his family worshiped idols. They didn’t belong to God. God needed Abraham to GET away from those people that were framing his thinking. They had influence on him. So.. who is influencing you?

Your life is much greater than having a billion friends and a ring on your left ring hand finger. At some point, we have to learn to trust God concerning these temporary things. Eternity is knocking at your door and you don’t want to stand before God and say “I didn’t obey you because I was too busy & distracted trying to keep a man that you never told me to keep.”

I know I will get this question—“What if you’re married?” Well, if you’re married—this isn’t a reason to run and get a divorce. You win your husband over to Christ by your quiet & gentle spirit (1 Peter 3:4). Trust me.. I've won my husband over in certain areas concerning areas in our marriage. I've watched God change my husbands heart because I learned to accept him-- ISSUES and all. I knew that I couldn't change his issues but CHRIST could if I moved out of the way and LET Him. YES 1 Corinthians 7:14- "For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." HOWEVER, your goal should not be to marry somebody who is NOT equally yoked with you. Paul is referring to a person's "current" state-- not somebody who is pre-planning to marry a random. His instructions for that was "DO NOT DO IT." Don't marry an expectation that a person will all the sudden change once you get married. You WILL deal with so many other issues that come with marriage if your husband isn't saved. So don't even gamble with it. PLUS, how can YOU trust the leadership of your one-day spouse if his father is the enemy? So if you are married-- continue to pray and ask God for grace. But if you're not-- don't use this as an excuse to run and marry somebody. You will remember my words if you do. 

At the end of the day, this Christian walk is going to cost you something. You are required to DIE. Die DAILY. Die to your old way of thinking & being and taking on the image of Christ. So, you may think.. “my situation is different, we’ve been together for years and years and he says he’s saved but—I don’t see any fruit but he’s working on it.” Well, sista- you need to let him work on it, over there. Don’t be a distraction to his walk and most likely, while he’s working on it—he’s still dealing with his carnal nature concerning his flesh and your body. Don’t allow yourself to become an idol for a new Christian. They’re searching for somebody to depend on – make sure that space is empty for Christ. And make sure that yours is empty as well so it can be filled by CHRIST. You don't really need that man to be satisfied, you need CHRIST.

Few things:
SO sorry I haven’t been blogging! Hubby and I have been traveling NON-STOP & preaching everywhere! It's currently 10:51pm and we just landed in the Bahamas today as I preach on Friday! Whew! It’s pretty awesome and I’m thankful—I’ve just been busy and this growing belly is a reminder that I need to slow down. Also, baby Lindsey is a BOY! ☺ I cannot wait for March 2013! I will be blogging more moving forward! ☺

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!
www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store! 
www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you signed up for the Pinky Promise Conference? We would love to meet you!
www.pinkypromiseconference2013.com

Have you picked up my husband's book? "So, You Want To Be Married?"
www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com 

God loves you like crazy!

Love always,

Heather Lindsey 

(last week in MO)- 22 weeks pregnant!